Am I The Only One..?

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-I average 4-5 hours of sleep a night.
-I work a full 40 hour week and take overtime when available, with a 2 hour commute daily.
-I’m in school full time chasing a degree, because my 6-figure income isn’t satsifactory to me.
-I train harder than anyone I know (in person).
-I take care of my family to the absolute best of my ability.
-I go on personal growth journeys at least once a year and turn myself into a better, bigger, more plentiful person.
… And I feel like I’m not doing enough.

I feel like I’m at a buffet holding a plate that’s got food spilling off the side, and I’m still adding more food to the plate.

Am I the only one who feels compelled to push myself harder and harder?

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I doubt it.

I’m sorry, I don’t have much of value to add here, but I wondered if you wouldn’t mind expanding on:

What do these look like for you? I’m envisioning something like a seminar or else like a camping trip.

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To what end are you doing all of this?

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Changing who I am today into the person I want to be tomorrow.

At 21 years old, I was still a child.
At 25 years old, I was a man, but not one that I liked.
At 29 (now) I like who I am, but not enough.

I don’t do the campy/seminar bullshit. They’re all MLM schemes in disguise.

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Until I am satisfied (never). I mean this in the most literal sense.

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Okay, I understand what the purpose of these journeys are for, I just meant was that a literal, or perhaps physical, journey, or more just a period where you perhaps focused on changing your mindset to achieve the desired changes.

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Chasing something you can’t even define until you die is no life.

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This one.

I change until I am happy, then I stay that way for a bit… until I find ways I can improve, then I change those. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember.

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I went from a fat, broke, immasculine 20-something to owning 2 houses, making 6 figures, building a family, and having a physique most folks couldn’t pay for by doing exactly this.

None of these were defined, I just believed/believe in constant and exponential growth. I don’t need an endgame to make more progress in a year than most have in a decade.

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I don’t feel the same as you regarding progress, but those are some pretty impressive changes. Good job, man.

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I do this routinely - it will define itself and change over time.

If you are not growing, you are regressing.

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There is a improvement opportunity for bodybuilding here.

But… You have extreme creative tension within you to improve all aspects of your life. Many successful people see sleeping as a waste of time. I would say you are considered successful at this stage of your life by most any reasonable person’s assessment.

To optimize your bodybuilding potential, a saying is notable, “Bodybuilding is a jealous bitch.” To excel she does not like to be two-timed. I don’t suggest you go this route.

More sleep should give you better return on investment, so you might not be training as hard as you can.

Another thought: You might be best served by finding a gym where there are many hard training people. Bigger people, stronger people… Also, assess whether “harder” is better than smarter.

I do believe you are a 1%'er.

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I think personal improvement is a great thing.

I do think evaluating what is going to give you the most satisfying / happy life and distributing your resources more heavily in those areas is a good idea. I say this because it looks like you are trying to max out improvement in several of your bullet point areas of life (work, school, training, family).

I’ve mentioned here on T-Nation one of my friends that is very successful in a few areas of life. He works a lot (70-80 hours/wk), and is a senior director at a fortune 500 company (I believe his household income is over $500K/year). He also trains 4 days a week and has a good physique. He has a beautiful house, and drives a nice car. He also has a wife and daughter. He does value being a good father and husband, but how much time is really left for him after career and training is over?

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Duly noted, aiming to improve this once I graduate, some 4-6 months away.

I upgraded gym memberships last week for this specifically. My area is starved for any ‘real’ gyms, but I did the best I could.

Thank you.

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This is what always comes to mind. (I’m in NO way saying that @Andrewgen_Receptors is a bad spouse/parent!) I’ve dealt with some loss (not trying to act like I’ve had the hardest life ever, by any means) and seen some loved ones suffer a TON of loss. The one thing you can’t get back is time. Someone I know lost their dad a little while back. He was a pretty successful business owner, and spent most of their early years struggling to build his business. Once they were older, his business was successful, but he still gave it a lot of his time and energy since he had more employees, clients, etc. When he died, the person I know genuinely just wished they’d had more time with the guy. They said the lifestyle he provided was nice, but they’d give it up if it meant they could have some memories of their dad doing things like attending their childhood soccer games or driving them to their high school dances. He was always at work or something so it was just the mom who did all that.

Again, not saying this is Andrew! Just something I’ve noted in many people I’ve known/spoken to about the common feelings they’ve had after losing a parent or spouse.

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I’ve felt somewhat similar before, strangely after achieving success that allows lots of free time.

Years ago I left oil&gas during a downturn to sell life insurance. It was supposed to be temporary until oil came around again, but I realized I could do well.

I went from an independent producer working from home before it was cool, winning lots of awards and trips put on by carriers to building a full-service brokerage with offices in multiple cities.

I don’t really have to “work” per se, aside from reviewing productivity with regional managers and helping formulate plans to get or stay on track for goals.

This actually led to boredom as I would consider myself an A type guy and like being busy. I could keep growing, but then I would be super busy to the point I neglect family. Likely for years.

I found an outlet in hobbies. I have a 4 year old in taekwondo and signed up to do it with her. We are in different classes of course but practice at home together. Achieving the next belt or mastering a kick gives a goal to work towards, but it also equates to a bonding moment with my daughter.

I casually played guitar years ago and picked that up again with the intent of actually getting good, and of course there’s lifting.

I’m competing in my first PL tournament in November, I’ve always just lifted for the sake of it but now there’s a specific goal attached.

I tinker on motorcycles and old cars too.

It seems like once you develop a career it’s easy to get in to a cruising mode without any real sense of accomplishment or meaningful passing of time. The French call this blasé.

Give yourself goals that mean something, even if hobbies. If you need more money go get it, but if you’re just staying busy try wrapping hobbies in to other meaningful things in your life to get more color out of them.

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If you don’t have goals, how do you know you are growing in the right direction?

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I average 8.5 hours a night. Sleep is crucial to well being and training.

I work 5 minutes from home, about 30 hours a week.

You couldn’t pay me to go back to school. I have a BSME and have never used it to date in my career.

Ditto. But my pool of people around me while lifting is limited and I could train harder.

Same

I’m to lazy and satified with my life to do this.

Stop and find happiness with a small plate.

I think you have yourself trapped in a cyclical mindset of ‘more’ is better. Not necessarily more wealth or tangible items but “more on your plate” type issues. Chasing dreams is ok, but so it being satisfied with your ability handle just enough.

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I do have goals, they are just not clearly defined.

I want more money, and I’m watching my bank account grow… this is the right direction.

I want more muscle and less fat… I see more muscle and less fat - this is the right direction.

I rarely set end goals, just goals in a direction - and follow it from there.

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Honestly, I don’t know how to be satisfied with what I have…

Am I happy with what I have? Yes.
Do I want more? Also yes.

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