You have to keep in mind though that “Bear” was an asshole and his wife was raised in a time where women were to be seen and not heard.
Just like all things, the truth of things lies somewhere in the middle. It used to be that guys were jerks and women were treated like children. Now, those roles are reversed and guys act like women and women have to step up to do our jobs, and in turn usually become quite the assholes themselves.
I personally find a true happiness in being in the middle, where my wife and I both do some give and take, and we function as a team. That’s just me though.
My Bear Bryant story was a little in jest. I am aware of the generational differences in how men and women have treated each other over the years.
As for you, I get a little of what your girlfriend is feeling. I think this is especially prevalent in newer relationships. You will work this out between you over time.
However, as I was reading your initial post, I was thinking of all the positive things that kind of personality affords. There are a lot of jobs that require a calm, unemotional, steady, approach. Sometimes, I wish I could be more like you.
Yup it’s an asset I agree. Businesses are most successful when the owner or managers make decisions based on facts not emotions fear and stress. Good leadership.
Jocko has a good book extreme ownership. Ex navy seal commander. Total bad ass from planet alpha.
I guess it’s that I just WANT to feel like I want to snuggle her. Or tell her I love you. Or be more affectionate. It’s just that I’m not.
It’s foreign and feels weird. Telling ANYONE “I love you” feels so strange. Like corny or mushy.
Hard to explain. It’s like I have no OXYTOCIN.
EDIT: a little tidbit from wiki: Estrogen has been found to increase the secretion of oxytocin and to increase the expression of its receptor, the oxytocin receptor, in the brain.[16] In women, a single dose of estradiol has been found to be sufficient to increase circulating oxytocin concentrations
Curious, were you brought up where “I love you’s” and other signs of affection were not the norm? It is something I struggle with a little also, I wasn’t brought up that way. I don’t remember being hugged and told I love you by my mom as a kid. In no way did I not feel loved just wasnt the way my mom rolled. I dont remember a lot of affection shown between my mom and step-dad either except when they first started dating. I know it affects me and makes showing more affection more foreign to me when it’s not something I grew up seeing a lot of.
Believe it or not…same here. The only difference is that I didn’t know what love meant or felt like period. The only emotion I ever saw as a kid was anger. Rage.
That’s how I KNOW that this is something that you guys can DECIDE to change. I did it. You can too. Up to you.
You might be onto something in regards to oxytocin. Although not the same, how do you feel when taking an oxycodone like Percocet? For me it’s definitely a lovey dovie type buzz.