[quote]smh_23 wrote:
[quote]SexMachine wrote:
Now I’ll explain why I’m not successful but I think it will be way over the heads of most of you. Up until recently I was pretty much like everyone else. But I’ve had a profound awakening and see things and approach things and want things completely differently now.
I didn’t really analyse this stuff till recently but everyone knows some of it instinctively. In every relationship there’s a power disparity with one person juggling to stay in the game and keep their partner interested. It’s pretty much always the guy in the beginning and then either he slips into the subordinate position and then gets dumped. If the woman stays in the subordinate position the guy loses interest and dumps her. Or if he’s a scumbag and a loser he loses respect for her and starts abusing her. I’m not a creep. Not that kind anyway.
In all of my relationships, same as everyone else, I followed this pattern. The girls who dumped me were the ones I really liked or thought I did at the time and the ones I didn’t like I dumped. Now the normal emotional response that everyone goes through is to be hurt and believe that I wasn’t “high value” enough for the few girls I would’ve liked to stay with at the time. Part of my awakening was to realise that it has nothing to do with my value or theirs and that I can manipulate the situation in order to remain dominant. Then I also realised that when this happens;
A. I no longer like her
And
B. I no longer feel that I’m not “valuable” enough. For anyone.
This resulted in quite a significant change in my whole outlook. I no longer know what if anything I want. Sex alone doesn’t satisfy me. I can’t form any kind of emotional intimacy with anyone. And I very may actually totally lose interest. I still have sexual needs like anyone else but I approach things very cynically. When I’m “interested” in a woman now it’s because there’s something intriguing about her character and I feel more like a curious scientist rather than a lover.
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I understand the temptation to analyze relationships in the terminology of chemistry or biology or economics or politics – greater and lesser values, dominant and subordinate partners, financial transactions, algorithms, etc. The result resembles a chess game – the calculation, the almost mechanical way in which experienced players return again and again to set patterns.
But don’t for a second think it has to be that way. Somebody comes along and together you flip the board over, and the pieces go bouncing and scattering across the floor, and all of the biology and chemistry and mathematics are gone. This really does happen, though they to whom it hasn’t happened (or only appeared to happen) won’t believe it.
This is my best and least demeaning argument against the MRA garbage that is popping up, either explicitly or implicitly, everywhere I look.
Interjection complete. Everybody may resume throwing punches. I hope you don’t stay a nihilist, SM, but if you do, this is for you (and it’s probably my favorite moment in movie history):
Thanks for your reply smh, I am however done talking about this stuff. But keep in mind cynicism / pessimism / nihilism has a long and illustrative tradition. You don’t have to take things to the extremes of Hegesias. And you can even be a nihilist in denial like Kierkegaard. And women don’t just “come along”. The most interesting women I’ve met were from staking out certain Dewey numbers at the libraries and such. Creepy huh?
