Alcoholics?

Off Topic
21

Hey JP! I am a recovering alchy for 11 yrs now. I have met many just like me and much worse be relieved of their alcoholism.

Go buy the Big Book of Alcoholic anonymous and read the chapter on “there is a solution”. Go to page 20 and 21. See what kind of drinker you are?

I don’t have to convince you of anything. The bottle should take care of that. Oh according to the BB(big Book) you diagnose yourself. If you want to fight about that take it up with your own conscience.

I have been relieved of alcohol/ism for 11 years now. I go to AA meetings. AA is where I found out how to not drink and live sober. Practice the priciples that are described in the BB of AA and you too will be relieved.

If you can control your drinking my hat is off to you. I couldn’t. Read the BB go to meetings and find out how to do it. Don’t waste anymore time wondering and thinking which way to go. You have been told. Now you know. Act on it.

If you have any questions pm me.

22

Good for you, JP!

I don’t know if I’m an alcoholic, but I know I certainly have been drinking way too much. My dad is a recovering alcoholic - sober for about 18 yrs or so. I know it’s in me to lean that way and it scares the hell out of me.

It’s been my escape in recent months.

hug Cuz I’m a chick and that’s what I do - I hug my friends. :stuck_out_tongue:

~ Carrie :slight_smile:

23

JP Bear,

congratulations on your resolutions, and good luck with the harder part: staying sober.

Whatever the method you choose, I think the most important thing is to get the people around you to help you. And I don’t mean an internet forum, but the people who can help you, or inadvertantely have been fueling your desire to drink. They are the ones whom you have to face in every-day-life, because “we” at T-Nation are all kinda far away (although we care as you can see from the support here). So in your case, I would look at my network of supporters (and detractors) on that path, and make sure they know and help you.

Good luck, and I wish you the strength to succeed!

Hugs (blokes can do that too),
Makkun

24

[quote]JPBear wrote:
I am an alcoholic. I have known this for years but have never admitted the fact or decided to do anything about it until today. It has nothing to do with New Year’s resolutions, today is just the day I have decided to face it.

I can’t control myself around alcohol. It began as a method to cope with depression, but now that I am no longer depressed, the habit is still there. I’m not the worst case, but I really feel like alcohol controls my life, causes me to do stupid things, affects my relationships and affects my relationship with God. I have tried the “cut back” method a million times, but I am finally at the point where it is time to take responsibility for my actions.

I am wondering if there are any recovering alcoholics here, and if so, do you have any advice for me? Thanks.
[/quote]

I never had that problem. But, I did help an employee of mine who was an alcoholic for about 20 years before he actually beat the problem.

He has not had a drink for six years!

AA helped him a great deal. At AA they talk about many things. Not the least of which is staying away from “people, places and things” that you associate with drinking.

I think “people” was the most difficult thing for him to give up. He had a lot of drinking “buddies.”

He tried several times in the past to quit and the one thing that prevented that was his association with these certain people. He finally told them all goodbye and that was the beginning of his recovery.

I also told him to call me if he was feeling weak. He took me up on it several times. I think you need that positive human contact to beat this problem.

Here is the AA site. Hopefully there is a chapter near you because you will need support from real live people, as I stated, not just an Interent site:

http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/

If there is anything else I can do to help you out please don’t hesitate to PM me.

The best to you,

Zeb

25

[quote]JPBear wrote:
I am an alcoholic. I have known this for years but have never admitted the fact or decided to do anything about it until today. It has nothing to do with New Year’s resolutions, today is just the day I have decided to face it.

I can’t control myself around alcohol. It began as a method to cope with depression, but now that I am no longer depressed, the habit is still there. I’m not the worst case, but I really feel like alcohol controls my life, causes me to do stupid things, affects my relationships and affects my relationship with God. I have tried the “cut back” method a million times, but I am finally at the point where it is time to take responsibility for my actions.

I am wondering if there are any recovering alcoholics here, and if so, do you have any advice for me? Thanks.
[/quote]

I’m Tom, I’m an addict. It’s quite obvious that there are a multitude of different types of people here with a differing opinion on addiction and recovery, and that is good (and bad).

I attend meetings on a regular basis. I attend NA, however, not AA. I do the things I need to do in order not to pick up on a daily basis. If you attend meetings, you know what these things are. If you don’t know what they are, I would suggest attending a few meetings and see for your self. Now, my wife is also an addict and she doesn’t attend meetings regularly (once every few months), but she also stays clean. Could I do that, I doubt it, but then again, I’m not gonna try it, either. She does what works for her. She has almost 5 yrs, and I have 5 1/2 yrs clean.

I’ve seen both sides and it comes down to a simple fact. We, as addicts and alcoholics, are going to do what we want, when we want and how we want until we can’t stand the pain and consequenses any longer. Only then will we do anything about our problems. I no longer bash how people stay clean. What I suggest is find something that works for you, then do it. Remember, do, or do not, there is no try.

26

Well, today is my sixth day without a drink. I am feeling very good, which I am sure has a lot to do with the antidepressants I am taking. That is what seems to give me the mental strength to fight this.

I have a very strong faith in God (although one that has not progressed much since my drinking began) and I believe that God uses medication to heal, so I don’t feel as though I am not trusting in Him to get me through this. That would be like telling a diabetic not to take medicine, but just to trust in God. I am trying hard to remind myself that antidepressants are not a crutch, but medicine to fight an illness.

I thank you all so much for your advice and support. This thread and the many PMs I got on the subject have been a huge help to me when the “monster” starts to stalk me.

27

Oh yes, one more thing. I have been talking to friends and relatives about this and I am surprised at some of the reactions. One person laughed, and some didn’t even believe me at first.

I now realize what a master I was at covering this up and leading a normal looking life.

Everyone has been supportive though. It is amazing how people immediately begin to think about their own drinking and how many people confess a desire to cut back or stop themselves. I love that my honesty might help other people as well.

28

[quote]JPBear wrote:
Well, today is my sixth day without a drink…
[/quote]

Congratulations! Keep up the effort one day at a time. You were able to keep the “Monster” at bay during your pregnancy. Your beautiful, healthy baby is your proof and reward. He loves you and needs you to be his mommy. You are a strong woman. Go kick some monster ass!!

Momma

29

How bout this for some motivation. I had to watch my mom slowly die(and painfully) from liver and kidney failure from years of heavy alcohol abuse. It was the worst thing I’ve ever seen, she was only 47 years old.

30

Good for you, JP. Prouda ya.

About the medication you’re taking: I don’t know who’s putting this idea into your head that it’s a “crutch”, but STOP THINKING THAT!

I’m guesing it’s someone from AA. They’re kind of big on people not taking prescribed medications, leading to horrifying results in most cases.

Next time anyone (INCLUDING YOURSELF) even hints that you shouldn’t be taking your meds, simply ask them what medical school they went to. Keep asking this question until they finally admit tonot having any sort of medical or psychopharmacological training. Then, ask them politely to shut the fuck up.

Keep up the great work!

31

JP. It takes some cahunah’s to do what you are doing. A lot of people never face up to it until a disease hits them and then it’s either don’t drink or die. You aren’t any good to your family dead. It takes more courage than most will ever have to face under any circumstance in their lives. The smallest things that were once, well nothing, now become hard. I

was once told regarding war that courage is: “the ones who are afraid but go anyway.” That is you right now. You are the appitamy of courage even though see’s the war you are in daily. You have got a tough road to go. But it is worth it for yourself and your family. There’s sure to be times that you will think nothing is worth the anguish you feel. But it is worth it. You are doing the right thing for yourself, and by doing right for yourself you are doing what’s right by those that you must care for, raise, and interact with. You are a living example of courage for everybody. I wish others could see the courage you muster every day.

Some days I feel like a beaten down yellow dog. I’m a recovering alchoholic… self-diagnosed. Scariest thing I’ve ever been through. PM me if you ever need moral support. Make sure you take care of your nutritional needs in order to speed your recovery. You are da bomb for taking this on. There aren’t words.

32

JPB… congrats on a huge admission to yourself.

I’ve been sober for just over 9 years. In fact, my AA birthday was just 3 days ago on, Jan 3rd. And I was thinking how grateful I was not to be in that very scary place you are today.

Like you, I was a highly functioning drinker. And when I finally admitted I was an alcoholic, many of those closest to me couldn’t believe it. Even my own girlfriend said, “you’re not an alcoholic, you’re just trying to be trendy.” Which made no sense to me, since walking into AA was the most humiliating thing I’d done in my life.

But it was also the beginning of my freedom and I am eternally grateful for what I’ve learned in those rooms and for the people I’ve met.

I second the words of whoever told you to find “real” people who can help you and not just us phantom folks on an internet forum. The people I met in my early days of AA are still dear friends and all of us have remained sober over the years.

I’m normally very private about my sobriety, and was going to PM you, but I thought someone else who may be struggling with this problem might read your post and need help or advice also. I’ll be happy to correspond privately with anybody who wants to talk.

And JPB, I know it’s hard right now, but if you’ll do the things you need to do and start down a new path, you’ll actually look back on this difficult time of your life with great joy. I wish you all the best…

Dave

33

Congrats J.P.!
I was waiting on eggshells to see how things developed for you. Realy glad you are taking a turn for the better.

You have a good perspective on what it takes to break free from the bondage of addiction. Use any means necessary to do it.

Along the lines of different experiences of different people- My family was jumping for joy when I decided to get sober, but then again, I was one nasty bastard when I drank.
Sobriety is nice. It has enabled me to become the person I have always wanted to be rather than the person that I never wanted to be.

34

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

Sobriety is nice. It has enabled me to become the person I have always wanted to be rather than the person that I never wanted to be.

[/quote]

I usually dont like slogans, but this is a nice one.

35

[quote]karva wrote:
SkyzykS wrote:

Sobriety is nice. It has enabled me to become the person I have always wanted to be rather than the person that I never wanted to be.

I usually dont like slogans, but this is a nice one.[/quote]

I’ve also noticed my relationship with my 2 girls is different now than before after severly curbing drinking. I was just “around” before, where now they can’t get enough of me and I love it.

36

[quote]JPBear wrote:

I am wondering if there are any recovering alcoholics here, and if so, do you have any advice for me? Thanks.
[/quote]

I knew I had to stop and couldn’t…for years. I bet people’s advice with the “Big Book” and “Rational Recovery” are great but my tool for the job is HATE. Hate alcohol,hate what it does. If you get through this, you’ll love the person you’ve become and I’ll personally guarantee that.

37

Just to clarify on hate. Hate it like it was the person who raped you. Hate it like it was the person who stole your baby, because if you don’t this is exactly what it will do.

38

[quote]JPBear wrote:
Well, today is my sixth day without a drink. I am feeling very good, which I am sure has a lot to do with the antidepressants I am taking. That is what seems to give me the mental strength to fight this.

I have a very strong faith in God (although one that has not progressed much since my drinking began) and I believe that God uses medication to heal, so I don’t feel as though I am not trusting in Him to get me through this. That would be like telling a diabetic not to take medicine, but just to trust in God. I am trying hard to remind myself that antidepressants are not a crutch, but medicine to fight an illness.

I thank you all so much for your advice and support. This thread and the many PMs I got on the subject have been a huge help to me when the “monster” starts to stalk me.
[/quote]

Keep up the good work JP. Don’t be afraid to use your family and friends for support when you need it.

Best of luck with your efforts.

39

[quote]JPBear wrote:
However, I had no problem not drinking at all during my pregnancy. So I don’t know what this behavior qualifies as.
[/quote]

I think this shows that your concern for your baby’s health outweighed your desires.

Put this into practice again and realize that now is the best time to stop giving in to your learned behaviors and never let your son see you this way.

I have great faith in your ability to overcome this. Take it one day at a time and remember that every new day is a chance to live life better than you did the day before. Don’t let mistakes of the past define your actions of today.

40

I admire your courage, JPBear! You’ve overcome the first step in getting some relief for your problem.

I think there is some sound advice posted here you just have to sort out what will work for you. As for AA not working, I disagree. It has been a tremendous influence in changing my life for the better. I was very close to becoming an alcoholic myself when, by God’s divine intervention, I started dating a recovering alcoholic. I was raised in an alcoholic family and let me share, it affects everyone whether he or she is the drinker or not.

I’ll admit I had a lot of misgivings when I first started learning about the disease of alcoholism, but by attending meetings and making the committment within myself to be willing to give it an honest try, I found the sloution that I needed for my life. I attend Al-Anon and Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings 2-3 times per week.

It is a new way of life for me. Had I stayed on the path I was travelling, I surely would have come to the place where I was drinking daily and lieing to everyone including myself about what was really happening in my life.

I had to stick around long enough with the 12 Step program to figure out what it was teaching me and the new chance at life I really had. It was extremely hard for me to honestly look at myself and my own “shit”, that’s why AA doesn’t work for the people who are unwilling to look at their own shit. Luckily for me, I was at the point where what I was doing just wasn’t working anymore. But it is what you make of it.

I congratulate you on 6 days, and by all means, do what works for you. This is what worked for me. Just try to stay open minded to the possiblilty of a better way of life. Especially since you already have a strong faith in God. It takes some work but it seems to me that you already have a strong desire to change.

Good luck to you and you can PM me if you have any questions or need some support. The best support comes from someone who’s been there, done that and lived to help others out of it!