Advice on Wife Texting Her Boss

Off Topic
401

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:
I assure you, Em, that my mental image of you, gathered through several years of online interaction, is the EPITOME of responsibility and frugality. With a bit of sexy and “responsible excess” thrown in there for good measure. :wink: [/quote]

I was thinking about this as I worked out this morning, and if there hadn’t been other people there, I think I’d have laughed aloud. So smooth!

If ever we meet and are both unattached so there are no moral impediments for me, and you think I’m attractive enough that the experience wouldn’t be repugnant to you - though I don’t think that would be the case - will you try to seduce me, please? Because I think that would be a most excellent experience, and one the likes of which I’m certain I’ve never had.

But you’d have to go in with low expectations, because regardless of skill, I don’t see sex resulting.[/quote]

I would enjoy that very much. If we were ever fortunate enough to be touched by serendipity, regardless of whether our rendezvous became physical or not, I’m sure that “the seduction of EmilyQ” would rank among my finest and most treasured memories. Sounds like the title to a racy romance novel, doesn’t it? LOL

How’s the Picasso? ;)[/quote]

More like a child’s drawing of a school bus! As I’m sure you’d have guessed would be the case.

I think if we ever did find ourselves with time together seduction would be forgotten, and we’d be talking and laughing our asses off. I’m pretty funny in person if I’m comfortable, and can imagine you are, too. Between your mad seduction skills and my cool suicide assessment/containment skills I would think we’d both be pretty at ease. Would be fun.[/quote]

I could definitely promise you fun and laughter. But the seduction forgotten? Please - I’d be talking like Pepe le pew the whole time, “Zee cabage does not run away from zee corn-beef”.
And I’d be showing off MY suicide containment skills as I ran after you, “Ah! My leetle pidgeon wishes to commit suicide to prove her love for me. What a sweet gesture. Never-the-less, I must prevent eet!”. You would then fall blissfully into my arms. For realz! LOL

[/quote]
agreed

402

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
He is a rugged electrician, flown in from an oil platform to fix undefined stuff in the little town our one legged heroine lives in.

First, she is disgusted that he effortlessly seduces the head cheerleader and the mayors wife in one evening and by his 5 o` clock shadow, but on a stormy, rainy night, she has no choice but to call him and he fixes her electric installments and her life…forever… [/quote]
You should go ahead and get a book deal.[/quote]

She felt the same energy pulsating through the grid, life itself for all the things she relied on, when he fixed her with his blue eyed gaze…

Oh noez, she thought, I have a degree in gender studies, what will all my girlfriends say, but all those voices quieted down when his calloused hands ripped her bodice from her heaving bossosms effortlessly…[/quote]

His calloused hands might rip the bodice effortlessly, but that just takes him to my minimizing bra. That fucker is made of STEEL. [/quote]

My dear, IF I had planned to go to great lengths to seduce you, I would have correctly judged your size and had a striking outfit delivered to your door, non-steel bra included!

I would NOT be foiled by the good old “steel bra” trick - you have only dated lesser men, I assure you.

403

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
He is a rugged electrician, flown in from an oil platform to fix undefined stuff in the little town our one legged heroine lives in.

First, she is disgusted that he effortlessly seduces the head cheerleader and the mayors wife in one evening and by his 5 o` clock shadow, but on a stormy, rainy night, she has no choice but to call him and he fixes her electric installments and her life…forever… [/quote]
You should go ahead and get a book deal.[/quote]

She felt the same energy pulsating through the grid, life itself for all the things she relied on, when he fixed her with his blue eyed gaze…

Oh noez, she thought, I have a degree in gender studies, what will all my girlfriends say, but all those voices quieted down when his calloused hands ripped her bodice from her heaving bossosms effortlessly…[/quote]

His calloused hands might rip the bodice effortlessly, but that just takes him to my minimizing bra. That fucker is made of STEEL. [/quote]

My dear, IF I had planned to go to great lengths to seduce you, I would have correctly judged your size and had a striking outfit delivered to your door, non-steel bra included!

I would NOT be foiled by the good old “steel bra” trick - you have only dated lesser men, I assure you.[/quote]

No.

She must have defenses she comsiders to be fool proof, you must tear them down.

404

I’m fucking dying reading orion’s budding romance novel lol!

405

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
He is a rugged electrician, flown in from an oil platform to fix undefined stuff in the little town our one legged heroine lives in.

First, she is disgusted that he effortlessly seduces the head cheerleader and the mayors wife in one evening and by his 5 o` clock shadow, but on a stormy, rainy night, she has no choice but to call him and he fixes her electric installments and her life…forever… [/quote]
You should go ahead and get a book deal.[/quote]

She felt the same energy pulsating through the grid, life itself for all the things she relied on, when he fixed her with his blue eyed gaze…

Oh noez, she thought, I have a degree in gender studies, what will all my girlfriends say, but all those voices quieted down when his calloused hands ripped her bodice from her heaving bossosms effortlessly…[/quote]

His calloused hands might rip the bodice effortlessly, but that just takes him to my minimizing bra. That fucker is made of STEEL. [/quote]

My dear, IF I had planned to go to great lengths to seduce you, I would have correctly judged your size and had a striking outfit delivered to your door, non-steel bra included!

I would NOT be foiled by the good old “steel bra” trick - you have only dated lesser men, I assure you.[/quote]

No.

She must have defenses she comsiders to be fool proof, you must tear them down.

[/quote]

Don’t worry, IF she insisted on wearing the steel bra, my high leverage American made Klein wire cutters will be within easy reach… Her heaving bossums could not resist being liberated and she would forget all about her Gender Studies degree!

406

What the hell have I stumbled into…??

(Quietly backs up and shuts the door)

407

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
What the hell have I stumbled into…??

(Quietly backs up and shuts the door)[/quote]
Leave then.

408

I think I’m going to take my gender studies certificate and my sturdy undergarments and hop off on my one leg before I get into some sort of trouble.

My best defense is a blank look – I’m deploying it now!

409

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think I’m going to take my gender studies certificate and my sturdy undergarments and hop off on my one leg before I get into some sort of trouble.

My best defense is a blank look – I’m deploying it now!
[/quote]

She tried to flee the emortional turmoil this rugged handyman had thrown her into.

Clutching her Gender Studies degree to her chest, she fled as fast as her impaired state would allow.

She felt safe, up until her pursuer entered the small clearing in the wood she had found shelter in, his smile part contempt, part compassion, part wild, barely contained longing…

410

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think I’m going to take my gender studies certificate and my sturdy undergarments and hop off on my one leg before I get into some sort of trouble.

My best defense is a blank look – I’m deploying it now!
[/quote]

412

Where AAAAAARE you? LOL

414

[quote]Chushin wrote:

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

Where AAAAAARE you? LOL[/quote]

We’re having a lesbian (plus guys who like to process their feelings) party at Em’s.

She’s had a bit too much white wine, and is showing off her steel bra.

Can I give her a message or something?[/quote]

Nah… I think I’ll give her the gift of missing me for a little bit. Good luck with that bra! LOL

415

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:

[quote]csulli wrote:

[quote]orion wrote:
He is a rugged electrician, flown in from an oil platform to fix undefined stuff in the little town our one legged heroine lives in.

First, she is disgusted that he effortlessly seduces the head cheerleader and the mayors wife in one evening and by his 5 o` clock shadow, but on a stormy, rainy night, she has no choice but to call him and he fixes her electric installments and her life…forever… [/quote]
You should go ahead and get a book deal.[/quote]

She felt the same energy pulsating through the grid, life itself for all the things she relied on, when he fixed her with his blue eyed gaze…

Oh noez, she thought, I have a degree in gender studies, what will all my girlfriends say, but all those voices quieted down when his calloused hands ripped her bodice from her heaving bossosms effortlessly…[/quote]

His calloused hands might rip the bodice effortlessly, but that just takes him to my minimizing bra. That fucker is made of STEEL. [/quote]

There’s a MINIMIZING bra? Who’s fucking idea was that?

416

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
What the hell have I stumbled into…??

(Quietly backs up and shuts the door)[/quote]
Leave then.[/quote]

Will do. I don’t find sexual innuendos to random on-line posters to be arousing. I’d rather stick to an actual date with my girlfriend. But carry-on, times are a changing.

418

[quote]EmilyQ wrote:
I think I’m going to take my gender studies certificate and my sturdy undergarments and hop off on my one leg before I get into some sort of trouble.

My best defense is a blank look – I’m deploying it now!
[/quote]

/\

Sup

419

[quote]Brett620 wrote:

[quote]spar4tee wrote:

[quote]Brett620 wrote:
What the hell have I stumbled into…??

(Quietly backs up and shuts the door)[/quote]
Leave then.[/quote]

Will do. I don’t find sexual innuendos to random on-line posters to be arousing. I’d rather stick to an actual date with my girlfriend. But carry-on, times are a changing. [/quote]
I’m seeing the implied lines here.

420

[quote]angry chicken wrote:

  1. Women are NEVER 100% happy - there is always a chink in that armor which can be exploited.

[/quote]

Correct.