Adding Wife to Health Care Plan

Off Topic
1

I have been married for about 6 months, my first time. She is divorced. We are both employed although I am losing my job at the end of March. I am actively looking for work, no luck yet. She has a secure job but is in much different financial shape than me. For liquid assets, I have over 100k, not counting retirement savings. I also however have a lot of bills I am currently paying off, I have gotten new furniture for the house, I paid for the wedding, etc. Probably about 30k in total. I might be in slightly better shape then some, but I am NOT well off, I own a house and pay for heating, property tax, etc…

She basically has next to nothing and lives paycheck to paycheck. She made some bad financial decisions and is not great at saving money. She also has her own expenses like big car payments which she takes care of. Not trying to sound mean about her either, just stating the facts.

Our incomes our similar. Prior to being married, her health coverage was through her ex-husband who is a state cop, one of the conditions of their divorce. Since she remarried, she no longer has his coverage and wants to go on mine.

I have always only had to take care of myself. Cost for insurance for me alone is $1,250. Adding her on there is almost $3,100, almost triple the cost! I work for an insurance company, she works for a law firm. She claims her bosses insurance coverage is horrible, high deductibles, not the greatest coverage, etc. As I am hearing it, she just does not want to pay for what I can.

Now do not get me wrong, I know it is a husbands duty to take care of his wife and all, but we have had many arguments over money. She likes nice things and going on trips. Well, that may have to come to an end. Right now, I am making about 44k, used to earn commission, but no more since my days are numbered. Any thoughts on this situation and how to handle things, or at least how to make myself feel better?

Am I being taken advantage of or am I too over-worried about this? Then again, I do not know what will happen once I lose my job if I do not have another one by then, maybe she will have to go on hers. Most likely she will try to get me to keep paying for something for her

2

You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change.

3

Obamacare?

4

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.

5

[quote]paulypaul wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.[/quote]

In that case you should probably voice your displeasure about your wife’s fiscal irresponsibility on the internet to strangers and hope you deleted you browsing history in time.

6

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]paulypaul wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.[/quote]

In that case you should probably voice your displeasure about your wife’s fiscal irresponsibility on the internet to strangers and hope you deleted you browsing history in time. [/quote]

Haha, Waittz, you don’t fuck around any more.

7

[quote]CroatianRage wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]paulypaul wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.[/quote]

In that case you should probably voice your displeasure about your wife’s fiscal irresponsibility on the internet to strangers and hope you deleted you browsing history in time. [/quote]

Haha, Waittz, you don’t fuck around any more.[/quote]
Its all the Miami Dolphins shit going on.
Made him grumpy.

8

Total Money Makeover–Dave Ramsey

You’re married. There is no “her money” or “his money” or “her debt” or “his debt”.

9

[quote]doogie wrote:
Total Money Makeover–Dave Ramsey

You’re married. There is no “her money” or “his money” or “her debt” or “his debt”.[/quote]

Yup.

Better figure it out and fast.

10

Incognito is a bad motherfucker lol.

11

[quote]doogie wrote:
Total Money Makeover–Dave Ramsey

You’re married. There is no “her money” or “his money” or “her debt” or “his debt”.[/quote]

Seriously, do this. One the best thing I’ve ever done was reading this book then sharing it with my GF. I only wish I had read it 10 years sooner.

12

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]CroatianRage wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]paulypaul wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.[/quote]

In that case you should probably voice your displeasure about your wife’s fiscal irresponsibility on the internet to strangers and hope you deleted you browsing history in time. [/quote]

Haha, Waittz, you don’t fuck around any more.[/quote]
Its all the Miami Dolphins shit going on.
Made him grumpy.[/quote]

lol. I am turning into this guy aparantly…

Team Incognito for the record.

13

The first obvious questions is WTF? Your healthcare will be non-existant after March. Bad empoyer provided insurance is way better than paying Cobra for both of you. So instead of deciding on what to do about your healthcare in March you will be trying to figure out about both of yours, that to me in crazy. I would ask her to bring home a copy of the benefits from her employer provided health insurance and sit down and look at it before making any crazy decisions. And you should to walk but run to the first avaialable FPU class in your area, it will be the best $100 you ever spent.

14

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]Derek542 wrote:

[quote]CroatianRage wrote:

[quote]Waittz wrote:

[quote]paulypaul wrote:

[quote]usmccds423 wrote:
You should sit down and have a non-heated discussion about money. You both need to be on the same page here or in about 5 years you will be in as bad a shape financially as her because she likes $500 car payments and Coach purses.

Get on the same page financially through communication. Don’t just “hope” things change. [/quote]

Agreed, the hard part is keeping it non-heated.[/quote]

In that case you should probably voice your displeasure about your wife’s fiscal irresponsibility on the internet to strangers and hope you deleted you browsing history in time. [/quote]

Haha, Waittz, you don’t fuck around any more.[/quote]
Its all the Miami Dolphins shit going on.
Made him grumpy.[/quote]

lol. I am turning into this guy aparantly…

Team Incognito for the record.[/quote]

The experts on ESPN tell me that he was actually more black than Jonathan Martin, so it’s really no big deal his tirades were racially charged. He shouldn’t have said he was going to expletive in his mouth though, that’s crossing the line.

15

First of all, it is NOT a husbands duty to ‘take care’ of his wife. This the 21st century for fuck’s sake! Women talk all the time of not needing a man and being able to take care of themselves. Women love that macho attitude b/c it means the guys a sucker and will pay for everything and blame himself for all problems in the relationship. It is your job to love and support her as it is hers to love and support you. If you’re not operating from a base of mutual respect; you got bigger problems than an insurance bill.

OK. Now you and your wife need to talk. You are in a partnership. Write down your points figure out what you want to say, know what your goals are, what you feel she can contribute, what you feel you can contribute. Some couples divide the bills, these are hers and these are his. Some couples pay a percentage of bills based on income. If he makes 70K/year, she makes 30, he pays 70% of total expenses she pays 30% of the total. Figure out what system of financial arrangement works for you both. Communication needs to happen and compromise, too.

Contrary to popular opinion on this site there are some real benefits to the ACA. One of which is If you add your wife to your plan that will give you a yearly insurance plan of just over $37,000. A high deductible could and probably would be cheaper. Under the ACA your yearly, married expenses cap out at 12,000 something. Put the savings in an FSA or HSA depending on the insurance plan and the rules. Use that difference to pay your bills until the deductible kicks in.

Honestly, I don’t know what goes on inside your marriage but you and the missus need to have a conversation.

16

Put her on your plan for 6 months and pay thousands of dollars for maybe a gyno visit and a flu shot?

I’m no financial genius but that doesn’t sound too good.

17

[quote]JCMPG wrote:
The first obvious questions is WTF? Your healthcare will be non-existant after March. Bad empoyer provided insurance is way better than paying Cobra for both of you. So instead of deciding on what to do about your healthcare in March you will be trying to figure out about both of yours, that to me in crazy. I would ask her to bring home a copy of the benefits from her employer provided health insurance and sit down and look at it before making any crazy decisions. And you should to walk but run to the first avaialable FPU class in your area, it will be the best $100 you ever spent.

www.daveramsey.com[/quote]

At that point, she would have to go on her employers. I had alluded otherwise before, but that was pessmistic thinking. i need to make her realize I cannot be Mr. Wonderful when I am unemployed. Pain in the ass finding a job i nthis industry around here too, might have to either move or switch careers.

18

[quote]Waittz wrote:
Obamacare? [/quote]

x1000 lulz

19

[quote]xboxwarrior wrote:

Contrary to popular opinion on this site there are some real benefits to the ACA. One of which is If you add your wife to your plan that will give you a yearly insurance plan of just over $37,000. A high deductible could and probably would be cheaper. Under the ACA your yearly, married expenses cap out at 12,000 something. Put the savings in an FSA or HSA depending on the insurance plan and the rules. Use that difference to pay your bills until the deductible kicks in.

[/quote]

Under the ACA your maximum you can put into a HSA is $2,500 a year.

20

[quote]dmaddox wrote:

[quote]xboxwarrior wrote:

Contrary to popular opinion on this site there are some real benefits to the ACA. One of which is If you add your wife to your plan that will give you a yearly insurance plan of just over $37,000. A high deductible could and probably would be cheaper. Under the ACA your yearly, married expenses cap out at 12,000 something. Put the savings in an FSA or HSA depending on the insurance plan and the rules. Use that difference to pay your bills until the deductible kicks in.

[/quote]

Under the ACA your maximum you can put into a HSA is $2,500 a year.[/quote]

By itself that statement is useless. What is the deductible under the plan? My wife’s employer is considering a high deductible w/ a deductible of $3,000. They will contribute $1,500 annually that will roll over. So that plan is not affected by your statement.