Accipiter's Log: NOW WITH VIDEOS

Training Training Logs
861

[center]November 22, 2011 Upper / Light [/center]

BB Incline / Pullup S.S.: 225*6-BW*14 230*4-BW*10 215*5-BW*10
Standing Press: 145*5 155*4 135*5
BB Curls: 95*8 95*6 95*4
P.U.P.P.: 1:40

Felt particularly good on the pullups…got 34 over 3 sets here. Last week got 31, and that was NON supersetted. Continuing with direct arm work, did some BB curls. May just go with DB curls from here on out. Also, Standing Press weight isn’t really progressing that much, not sure why. Added a rep at 155, but it was incredibly hard. Guess we’ll see

862

[center]November 24, 2011 Lower / Light[/center]

BB Front Squats: 225*5 225*5 225*5
Hang Snatches: 135*3 145*3 155*1 115*3 115*3
Ab Wheel: 11, 11

Switched it up a little, did front squats, gave my lower back a rest. Hanging snatches…yeah I thought I’d be getting a much larger boost to weights since I wasn’t doing them off the floor. I figured shortening the movement would help. Not so much. It was actually harder without the force of that first pull off the floor. Finished with the ab-wheel, the only infomercial fitness product in history that actually is legitimate.

863

[center]November 25, 2011 Upper / Heavy[/center]

Bench Press: 245*3 255*3 270*3 255*3 245*3
Pullups: 75*2 75*2 70*3 70*3 70*2
Push Press: 185*3 190*3 195*3 205*2 210*2
Dips: 55*5 60*5 55*5

[i]Great session; bench is moving up glacially slow. I’m chomping at the bit here. Pullups are going well, feel like I’m adding strength there. Still feels like the power movements are what’s moving fastest for me; the push pressing especially. I actually narrowly missed a 3rd rep at 205 and 210. Dips went well too, glad they don’t hurt my shoulders

On another note, I’ve gained back most of the weight I lost during the glycogen-depletion experiment pre-halloween, and subsequent week off to rest up for this bulk. I’m at 189 right now, and I’m gaining about a pound every few days. I hope to be back to 193 by the first week of December. I’ve noticed actually that I haven’t really gained any fat at all so far. I know it’s early, but still. It feels like the ‘density’ of my muscles is changing. I’m assuming it’s from the olympic lifting I’ve added. My body just looks ‘denser’, and just as lean. It’s hard to describe, but it looks good so far. [/i]

864

Aqqy… what IS this program? How are you structuring your progression?

865

3000th post!

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Aqqy… what IS this program? How are you structuring your progression?[/quote]

�· Sunday:
o Box Jumps, Box Jump Series, Plyo Pushups, Plyo Box Jumps.

�· Monday:
o Cleans (5x03)
o Deadlifts (5x03)
o Glute Bridges (5x03) (Jump Deads?)
o Paloffs

�· Tuesday:
o Incline Bench (3x05) / Pullups (3x12) S.S.
o Overhead Press (3x05)
o Curls (3x08) (KB Rope curls?)
o Rope Work

�· Wednesday:
o Off, Foam Roll, stretching , massage, whatever

�· Thursdays:
o Snatches (5x03)
o Squats (3x05)
o Front Squats (3x05) or Split Squats (3x05)
o Planks (plank rope drags) / Lying Rope Pullover S.S.

�· Friday:
o Flat Bench (4x03)
o Pullups (4x03)
o Push Press (4x03)
o Dips (3x05)
o Weighted Carries

�· Saturday:
o Off

I do better with heavy stuff, lower volume. My goals are to add some shoulder size/girth. I’ve never really worked my shoulders consistently ever, and certainly never on a bulk when there’s an opportunity to put some mass on them. I also have never done power lifting ever really, so I want to take this opportunity to get some good progression in on them this bulk, and see how it effects my overall progress. Tertiary goals include consistently doing arm work, although in the past this never really effected my arm size/strength/carryover effect to other lifts, so I guess we’ll see what happens there.

The split itself is just a simple upper/lower heavy/light split. Except light for me is like 5 rep sets.

866

[center]November 27, 2011 Conditioning[/center]

34" Plyo Box Jump / DB Drop & Overbox Jump S.S.: 15/15
34" Seated Plyo Box Jump: 20
7kg MB Slams: 50, 50

Good session, got the blood pumping. I enjoy jumping, it’s so effortless for me. Balanced out the lower body work with some ball slams. Felt good.

867

November 27, 2011

I don’t know what to do any more. Actually let me start over:

I’ve gradually been feeling shittier and shittier the last month or so. A lot of it is tied to work and how degrading the experience there has been. I thought this job was going to be amazing, but the steady downtrend it’s been on over the last month is just phenomenal. The thing is, I can look back and see I’ve been in shitty situations before, gotten shafted a few times along the way. It’s been my own doing several times, but there are so many times it’s not. “Ha ha that’s Matt for you, always managing to get fucked over somehow”. I’ve been in so many situations where people have said “It sounds almost too ridiculous to be true, but I was there and I saw it happen” The thing is, I’m tired. I’m so tired of being that person and I don’t know how to stop it. It’s like the harder and smarter I work to put myself in a successful position the further off true success gets, or at least it doesn’t get any closer, and time is passing.

The constant barrage from my boss, the coworker that’s running to her constantly, and especially the other one that’s openly hostile towards me; it just makes this whole situation worse. It’d be one thing if they just needed to lay someone off because of the economy. But I’ve always had the ability to get along on at a casual level with 99.9% of the people I meet or work with. So even if close friends were lacking, I could at least work or go out somewhere in peace. If I don’t have that anymore what do I have? What’s left? It’s bad enough I’m constantly getting bombarded at work and being told how awful of an employee I am, which is a completely new experience for me. It’s another to basically be told you’re a bad teammate or person even.

I always thought I’d be successful; I’m smart, at least if you believe standardized testing. I get along well with people, I’m friendly, and honest to God I want to help others. But I’m not successful, and it’s looking like it’s not going to be happening for me. I was poor at times growing up, but I’m actually going to be worse off than my parents. 160,000 in student loans, no way to pay them off, and no way to get back to school and back into the sciences because my debt would go from crushing to abominable. Getting fired when I’m 30? Successful people aren’t getting shit-canned from work in their 30s. They’re not taking 12 years of education to get to the Masters level in a field they only marginally enjoy, and then getting bounced from their first real job. It’s depressing realizing you’re not going to get remotely close to a vast majority of your goals. Then this shit with work just pushes back everything; getting married to Wendy, having kids (which gets pushed back again for 5th or 6th time), getting a house of my own. I’m just so tired. It’s like this wet blanket just being cast over my entire life with how things have gone at work. I can barely muster up the effort to even go in at this point.

I’m struggling right now. I haven’t felt urges to hurt myself this strong in over a decade. I love being alive, but all of this shit just piling up, and it feels like it’s eating away at my joy for life. Thank God for Wendy, and birds, without those two things I don’t know what I’d be capable of doing to myself. But it’s there right now overwhelming almost; it’s like a feeling in the pit of my stomach all the way up into my chest, and out into my arms, this urge. It’s not even specific like “cut your wrists” or “inhale helium until your brain shuts down”. It’s just this urge, maybe to escape, I’m not sure, but it’s there and it’s strong and it’s vicious. It’s all I can do right now to keep breathing.

Then everything’s sort of been exacerbated by the fact that I really don’t have any close friends, and it’s really starting to catch up to me. As I said I have a ton of decent acquaintances, more than anyone I’ve ever met actually. It’s not like I don’t try to actually have friendships with several of them though, but nothing really ever happens despite my best efforts. Today was depressing as hell. A girl I know had a surprise birthday party, her husband and best friend threw it for her, a bunch of other people I knew went as well. That’s not the depressing part, it was actually fun. The depressing part was that several of the people that were there I had invited out for my 30th birthday. One person replied, and said they’d be coming. No one else replied. No one came. I had spoken to the one person an hour before and they said they’d be there, but fell off the face of the Earth. I’ll never forget sitting in the bar with Wendy, waiting for other people to show up, and realizing after a couple hours that no one was coming and that I was going to be spending my 30th birthday, which I had honestly been dreading for months, alone. Turns out the people I had invited and the person who fell off the face of the Earth were actually hanging out together at one of their apartments. They didn’t do it to be dicks, or to spite me. They just aren’t my friends. They’re happy to see me, happy to hang out with me if I’m there, but wouldn’t make the effort to come hang out. Almost all of them married, so many with houses/condos, a large majority of them with children. And I’m still so far away from all that, and I was given more opportunities than all of them before I pissed away 97% of my potential. So if I’m invited I show up, but if I do the inviting, or there’s ever a big moment for me nothing happens, no one comes, and there are no friends to celebrate with. I have virtually no friends.

I can’t believe how bad I’ve fucked up my life, with all the opportunities I’ve been handed. Literally handed on a golden fucking platter, and to see the pattern of how I shit on the gifts I was given is just soul crushing. I have an IQ of 139 and haven’t done jack shit with it. I started college 3 years early, and somehow took 8 years to get my bachelor’s. I went to multiple grad schools and racked up 160K in student loan debt to get a degree that I can’t pay a fraction of that for, but had no choice because by the time I got my bachelor’s I was in so far over my head debt wise I had to try and get to a higher pay grade via education. I have no friends. If I ever have kids it’s going to be deep into my 30s which is something I NEVER wanted to be doing. I live in a shit-hole apartment and can barely afford my rock-bottom rent. I’m going to most likely be fired this week from a job and no one can even pin point what the reason is, other than they don’t like me as a person. I wake up every morning and I’m somehow just as exhausted as when my head hit the pillow the night before and there’s just no end in sight, I can’t even talk to anyone about this because I can’t afford the copay for a therapist, and there’s no pill a psychiatrist can give me to take me back in time 10 years so I can undo the carnage I’ve inflicted on my life. I can’t talk to my mom about it, since any time my life takes even the slightest downturn she take the opportunity to tell me what a piece of garbage I am. I can’t talk to my dad because I don’t have that kind of relationship with him; we’re close, but I can’t talk to him about this shit. I have to actually stop writing now because this is making shit worse.

Anyway I usually am open with what’s going on in my life and how it’s effecting me at the gym. It’s like I’ve been on autopilot there this week. It used to be a sanctuary from the outside world for me, it’s over now, it’s no different than anywhere else. I can’t even post this on my regular workout blog because my family reads it and I don’t feel like worrying my dad or giving my mom more fodder

868

Oh fuck, this is serious shit.

I know I can’t help with any of this, but I’ll just say that life does get in your way, but you’ll just have to adapt and work it thru. You have multiple problems, make a plan to solve them one by one and then just do it. Now it’s probably such a huge “ball”, that you don’t even know where to start. Chop the problems to smaller ones, change your actions according and make that a priority number one. Put your IQ to work.

Don’t get flattened bro. Fight back.

EDIT: Solve the biggest problems first and that’s the money as Hallie says below. The rest will follow more easily. Think about all the positive things you have. Health, relatives, your love and so forth. Not everyone has even them and they can still live good life and be generally happy. Don’t think about the expectations you and others may have created or what you don’t have.

869

[quote]AccipiterQ wrote:
3000th post!

[quote]Hallowed wrote:
Aqqy… what IS this program? How are you structuring your progression?[/quote]

I do better with heavy stuff, lower volume. My goals are to add some shoulder size/girth. I’ve never really worked my shoulders consistently ever, and certainly never on a bulk when there’s an opportunity to put some mass on them. I also have never done power lifting ever really, so I want to take this opportunity to get some good progression in on them this bulk, and see how it effects my overall progress. Tertiary goals include consistently doing arm work, although in the past this never really effected my arm size/strength/carryover effect to other lifts, so I guess we’ll see what happens there.

The split itself is just a simple upper/lower heavy/light split. Except light for me is like 5 rep sets. [/quote]

I’m PLing for the first time too! Feels rad getting stronger.

You gonna add any bb style shoulder specific exercises? (Straight arm pulldowns,DB Laterals etc.)

EDIT EDIT EDIT: just read your last post. I’m thumbtyping from my phone so bear with me.

STOP IT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. STOP STOP STOP. 95% of what you’re telling yourself is bullshit lies. NOT REAL. You havenm5 ruined or wasted ANYTHING. This is your life this is your path and this is how it has unfolded. You are young, brilliant, educated, good looking, and super fit. You are IN LOVE. You are just about living the fucking dream brother. You’ve got two things you need to change. Your job & your interpersonal relationships. You are NOT going to get fired from your job you are going to find a new better job RIGHT AWAY. THIS IS YOUR NEW NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. Do it. Do it now. As far as friendships… how many REAL FRIENDS do grown ups really have anyway? I’ve got my sister, my lifelong bff and my girlfriend Cristen that I would take a bullet for. Not in the head pr anything, but I’d do a flesh wound for any od em. After that I’ve got another two/three friends that I can call to hang out with whenever. I think I’m doing better than average in that department. You’re going to need to pick a person or two that is an acquaintence and develop a deeper relationship with them. OR fuckk find some new ones its not impossible.

YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR MINDSET NOW NOW NOW. You have everything you need to be happy. You have way more than alot of people. You are in love (Aqqy don’t you know how lucky you are? Love is so special). I need you to pull yourself together and make some changes. Write a fucking gratitude list. Find a new job. Bro down a little harder with some people.

PS - the way to have a friend is to BE a friend. Its the ones that were there for me at my worst that I would spill my blood for.

870

Thank you gals/guys, I really appreciate it. I got a lot of PMs from people too, and it really means the world to me. I actually did lose the job but I feel sooooooo much better now that I never have to go in there again. I couldn’t stand my boss any longer or one of my coworkers, and the fact that I never have to see them again really is a relief.

Plus I found a way to pay a lowered payment on student loans which is fortunate. I’m taking the next couple of weeks off and just working around my house to do some stuff I had been too mentally exhausted to do. Feelsgoodman.jpg

871

[center]November 28, 2011 Lower Body, Heavy[/center]

BB DL: 315*3 365*3 385*3 405*3 415*3
Hang Cleans: 185*3 175*3 175*3 175*3 175*3
Shoulder-Touch Planks: 10

Well I’m still alive. Deadlifting went well. Very well actually. Clean volume went way up, so that’s good. Up by several hundred pounds. Finished off with some planks. not bad…not bad

872

[center]November 29, 2011 Upper / Light[/center]

BB Incline / Pullup S.S.: 230*5-BW*14 235*3-BW*11 220*5-BW*10 
BB Standing Press: 155*5 160*3 140*6
Standing Cambered Curls: 75*10 85*8 75*7
Ab-Wheel: 12, 10

Good stuff. DESTROYED the pullups. 35 over 3 sets. Can’t believe how well that went. Standing press is going well too. Not sure my biceps look any different, but I’ll keep on with the direct arm work any how. It’s actually kind of fun.

873

[center]December 1, 2011 Lower / Light[/center]

Squats: 275*5 285*5 295*5
Hanging Snatches: 135*3 145*3 135*3 135*3
Front Squats: 225*4 205*5 205*3 
Snatch Grip Deadlifts: 225*5 225*5 225*5

Good stuff…may put a 2nd session of hang cleans instead of snatches for now while I work up on the weight. Not sure. Front squats were harder this week, with 2 exercises behind them, instead of leading off with them. Snatch-Grip deadlifts are pretty difficult but worked out as well. I actually slept good last night after getting fired. I actually feel better after being done with the jackasses where I worked. Relieved.

874

[center]December 2, 2011 Upper / Heavy[/center]

BB Flat: 225*3 245*3 255*2? 270*2 245*3
Pullups: 65*3 70*3 70*3 75*2 75*2
Push Press: 185*3 190*3 195*3 205*3 210*3
Dips: BW* 13 BW*13

It’s weird not prioritizing bench press. For so many years I was so deficient in it that I had to put it first on the day after my day off. Now that it’s at the end of the week I don’t progress as fast at it. I don’t mind though. The rest of the workout here went well. Pullups went good, added a rep at 205 & 210 on push press. Amazing what an actual 1/4 squat on Push Presses does…also went BW on dips and just repped out. Feels good man. 2nd day of not having a job…actually feels good.

875

awwwww sheeet maine… Got rid of suckass job and keelin it in da gym.

thats whats up.

876

[center]December 5, 2011 Lower / Heavy[/center]

BB DL: 315*3 375*3 395*3 415*3 425*3
Hang Cleans: 165*3 175*3 185*3 190*3 175*3
34.5" Plyo Box Jumps: 30
P.U.P.P.: 3:00!!! whoah where did that come from NEW PR!!

Deadlifting went well, steadily moving up there. Hang cleans as well. I need to work on the synchronization of the pull & jump on the movement though. I still mistime it a few times per session and I barely catch the weight. Was absolutely brutalized after those two exercises, did some plyo work after, which is something I’m going to try and work in a bit more. Then ended with a PUPP. I think I could’ve gotten to about 3:05…but still 3:00 is my new record by far. I got to 2 minutes and figured 2:30 was my record and beat it, then I figured I was almost to 3 so if I could hold out a little longer I could bag that. Good times.

877

[center]December 6, 2011 Upper / Light[/center]

DB Incline: 100*5 105*5 100*5
DB Rows: 120*5 120*5 120*5
Standing Press: 155*5 160*4 150*5
Hammer Curls: 45*8 50*5

Not bad, swapped in DB Incline for this workout, and did some DB rows instead of pullups. Got an extra rep at 160 on Standing Press.

878

[center]December 6, 2011 Workout from 10 Years Ago[/center]

Was just flipping back through the log book I use and came across a workout from almost exactly 4 years ago. Check out these beastly numbers. I probably weighed around 167 or so for this workout:

BB Sumo Squats: 185*2 225*2 245*2 265*1
Good Mornings: 95*10 115*10
Nautilus Leg Extensions: 125*10 155*10 
Nautilus Leg Curl: 65*3 -hamstrings shot
Hoist Leg Press Calf-Press: 8*10 10*12 15*10 21*10

Good to see how much things have improved. It’s funny flipping back through this thing, on December 8th, 2007 I did 5 pullups with 25 lbs. added on, so that’s 192 lbs. I was pulling up. That’s my bodyweight now and I can do 14 dead hang, those 5 I did 4 years ago may have had a slight cheat on them. My 5 rep max now is probably 192 lbs + 55, so 247 lbs. Not too shabby. It’s good to look back and see if you’re making progress, one of the good things about keeping a log book, and backing it up somewhere.

Even better, I just found one from December 12, 2001. On that day I quarter squatted the hell out of 3 sets of squats:

BB Squats: 225*12 175*12 315*6
Leg Extensions: 11*11 12*11
Leg Curls: 10*10 10*10
Calf Press: 395*10 395*10 395*10 395*10

Wow…a decade ago.

879

[center]December 8, 2011 Lower / Light[/center]

BB Squats: 280*5 290*5 300*5
Hang Snatches: 135*3 140*3 145*3 150*3
Front Squats: 225*5 225*3

Good session, weights moved up. I was actually gassed by the time I got to front squats. Probably going to go 205, 215, 225 in some order next time, just so I can get the full 3 sets in and not be sucking wind the way I was today. Next week I’ll start squats at 290 probably, and the snatches at 140.

880

[center]December 9, 2011 Upper / Heavy[/center]

BB Flat: 225*3 245*3 255*3 270*3 250*4
Pullups: 65*3 75*3 75*2 70*3 70*2
Push Press: 195*3 205*3 210*3 215*1
Dips: 60*5 60*5 60*5

Good session, will be moving up bench weights by 5 lbs. next workout. Pullups went well, tried fiddling with order I did the weights in, got an extra rep on that first set of 75. Push Pressing went well, was getting tired by that point though so kept it to 4 sets, really had no pop left. Dips went well, didn’t hurt my collarbones or anything. So this coming week I’m going to try doing my two heavy workouts back to back, so Tuesday I’ll be doing upper/heavy again. I figure that makes more sense since it’s earlier in the week, and maybe I’ll be less drained for this session if I move it to Tuesdays. We shall see.