Corkonian, I have a feeling that it was Harland Williams (a mediocre Canadian Comic) at the Just for Laughs fest, a few years back. I’m not 100%, but after further thought, I’m fairly sure it was him.
[quote]Corkonian wrote:
chrisarmes wrote:
I can’t remember which comedian said it, but he said
“If I were terminally ill, My last trip would be to Amsterdam. Prostitutes, weed and doctor assisted suicide. I’ll be first-class going over, and CARGO coming back” 
Rofl for Bushy and someone else that is one of the funniest things we could have seen.
Any idea what comedian :o[/quote]
Harland Williams I believe. This may be one of his VERY FEW good jokes (hint hint dont bother downloading his stuff hint hint)
[quote]Magnate wrote:
Corkonian wrote:
chrisarmes wrote:
I can’t remember which comedian said it, but he said
“If I were terminally ill, My last trip would be to Amsterdam. Prostitutes, weed and doctor assisted suicide. I’ll be first-class going over, and CARGO coming back”
Rofl for Bushy and someone else that is one of the funniest things we could have seen.
Any idea what comedian :o
Harland Williams I believe. This may be one of his VERY FEW good jokes (hint hint dont bother downloading his stuff hint hint)[/quote]
Thanks for the heads up Magnate - saved me a download.
This joke did however put a very large smirk on my face.
If I had less than a year, I’d buy all the “don’t pay anything before 12 months” stuff I could find.
[quote]Corkonian wrote:
Why would you marry your girlfriend ??
You are the complete oppisite of my mentality
“IF” and thats a BIG if i was dying… i would try get as much distance from her as possible…
Why would you choose to try bring ye closer… i mean wouldn’t you think that would crush her when you passed ?[/quote]
I would marry her because its the one thing that i owe her for her being with me through everything we have gone through. I would also marry her because that would be the one thing that would make me happy in this world if i was about to die.
And, i think although i cannot speak for her that it would be the one thing that my girlfriend would be happiest to do in this world before i died as well. (hypothetically speaking about dying of course.)
[quote]ayork90 wrote:
I would marry her because its the one thing that i owe her for her being with me through everything we have gone through. I would also marry her because that would be the one thing that would make me happy in this world if i was about to die.
And, i think although i cannot speak for her that it would be the one thing that my girlfriend would be happiest to do in this world before i died as well. (hypothetically speaking about dying of course.)[/quote]
i would say that, that particular reason is fairly individual to you and her.
and i applaud you and her being that “in love”
regards
agreed, Cheers.
i don’t believe in “in love” i believe in “love”
to us non emotional irish people whats the difference ??
[quote]nephorm wrote:
It depends. How much notice do I have? If it is a year or two, I would write a book. I would quit my job and dedicate myself to that full time, as my only - slim - chance at immortality.
If I had a couple of months, and did not require medical care, I think I would take a couple of good books, go back to Italy, and die there.[/quote]
Great post,
I would go back to my homeland, and enjoy some of the finest food ever, sit on a beach in Amalfi, Rimini, or Riccione. I agree with you Nephorm, this is a place close to my heart, and never heard a back experience from anyone who visited it.
[quote]Corkonian wrote:
Renton wrote:
Cork - before we head out - just let me know how much trouble we are allowed to get in. Easiest way I find to measure it is in “number of possible days in jail if we get caught”.
ROFL
Now that would not be easy in Cork, our guards are fairly relaxed
We have a fountain in our city, people ramndomly get nekkid and go diving round in it with no hassles
Poor SAMA forum would die happy people xD
But on another note, as far as coming over Bushy should he make the british govt. get off his back will be coming over as i owe him ALOT of drinks so if you are serious i presume we can set something up in a month or two.[/quote]
Hey, skinny dippin’ in a fountain in Ireland sounds Well Cool! MMMMmmmmm! Yumm!
Sounds superbly fun. No jail time? Dang it. I got to thinking that an Irish Jail cell would have to be more fun than most other countries’ cells!
I’m sure they allow Guiness, right mate?!
grins ~ nae
Heroin
Crack
Lsd
Amfetamin
Extacy
Simple as that, what worries will i have of getting addicted if i only got a bit left to live and it’s supposed to be some of the best\coolest\chillest feelings there is depending on the drug 
But really, probably the same ol search for the last adrenaline to feel more alive would what i would do. Who knows, ill let you know when the time comes 
yes… no water. just guiness and whiskey
sodas for breakfast, roasts for lunch and spuds for dinner.
Hello people.
Well i went and dove head first into the biggest heap of shit i could possibly find.
Got really drunk 11 days ago and me and the g/friend got to talking well my mouth ran off and i somehow blurted out my “hypothetical” plan to finish my days on my terms.
To say she didn’t take it well would be majorly understating it, i got so many punches and handbag slaps off her i still have bruises, she legged it and rang my sister told her the story, 2 seconds later the parents knew…
So as i said i went and dove head 1st into it, my parents have dug their heads in the sand, and are ignoring me, my sister has taken to randomly abusing me calling me selfish and my g/friend is ignoring me or adding to the abuse.
My mates are also having various degrees of annoyance /
anger/sadness all of them reacted differently. So right now it seems my masterplan has taken a giant leap into dogshit. I apologise here and now to renton/bushy who it seems have been trying to help while i was feeling sorry yet again for myself.
If anyone has a giant idea how i extradite myself from this without alienating people i really am all ears, right now im just walking round trying not to step on peoples toes and trying not to freak out that they are judging ME from a healthy perspective.
Thank you as always T-Nation.
[quote]Corkonian wrote:
Hello people.
Well i went and dove head first into the biggest heap of shit i could possibly find.
Got really drunk 11 days ago and me and the g/friend got to talking well my mouth ran off and i somehow blurted out my “hypothetical” plan to finish my days on my terms.
To say she didn’t take it well would be majorly understating it, i got so many punches and handbag slaps off her i still have bruises, she legged it and rang my sister told her the story, 2 seconds later the parents knew…
So as i said i went and dove head 1st into it, my parents have dug their heads in the sand, and are ignoring me, my sister has taken to randomly abusing me calling me selfish and my g/friend is ignoring me or adding to the abuse.
My mates are also having various degrees of annoyance /anger/sadness all of them reacted differently. So right now it seems my masterplan has taken a giant leap into dogshit. I apologise here and now to renton/bushy who it seems have been trying to help while i was feeling sorry yet again for myself.
If anyone has a giant idea how i extradite myself from this without alienating people i really am all ears, right now im just walking round trying not to step on peoples toes and trying not to freak out that they are judging ME from a healthy perspective.
Thank you as always T-Nation.[/quote]
I appreciate that you want to be so considerate of the people you care about.
I am betting they want you to do what you need to do to get better mentally, physically and emotionally. They want the best for you and you doing that is going to start healing any rough spots with your family and loved ones and friends right now.
So what do you need Cork? What do you want to happen right now?
How can someone help you? If I were a local buddy I sure would take you out for a dinner and a talk or just company to sit around and be quiet with.
Do you know what you want or need right now?
Do it, do what you have to do to get better. Your friends and family will hopefully support and help you in what is in your best interest.
Celeste
I’d go Duke Nukem.
Go to Hollywood. Burn it to the ground and send a whole lot of shallow, whiny celebrities straight to hell.
Have you tried talking with them and/or a counselor? The situation sucks ass in a major way.
As Celeste said, maybe you know of something you can do to climb up. I have a friend who is terminal with breast cancer. She says she wants to die like she’s living. This works for her.
It makes all the rest of us superbly sad. Another friend has been fighting bone marrow cancer for a while, and now has cancer in his lymph glands. Why the heck am I telling you this? shit, I dunno. I care more about my friends than anything. I’d do anything for a friend.
I’d do anything to help you, too. But all I can say is that you probably need to talk with them. Bring them together, if that helps. Maybe talk with a counselor first…?
hugs, hun ~ Renee
[quote]gatesoftanhauser wrote:
I’d go Duke Nukem.
Go to Hollywood. Burn it to the ground and send a whole lot of shallow, whiny celebrities straight to hell.[/quote]
I always thought if i knew i was going to die, i’d do the whole sniper deal, maybe see if i could assassinate a political figure, just to go down in history.
Join a white power group, then kill everyone.Not a fan of racism.
Or even do something like destroy all the foreign competition of American companies that i could. I.e. destroy HQ building for exported labor companies w/ fertilizer bombs.
If nothing else, i’d do all the ridiculous things i could think of.
i.e. Petition to join the NAACP, and if turned down, sue for racism.
Get as many crazy people together as i could, soak ourselves in gasoline, and have a roman candle war. How badass would that be?
Wearing flameproof gloves so we don’t light ourselves on fire.
-
Feel really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, sorry for myself.
-
Distance myself from anyone that ever felt anything for me.
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Sequester myself in a dump of a motel.
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Watch porn 24 hours a day and masturbate a lot.
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Drink non-stop.