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World champion eater Takeru Kobayashi once ate 53.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. Allotted the same time, Mr. T ate Kobayashi.
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Mr. T’s edition of the VH1 show ‘Where Are They Now’ was the shortest in the show’s history. It was 10 seconds long, and consisted of a black screen with the words “Right Behind You” written on it.
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The vegetarian group PETA one time tried to establish the catchprase “We PETA the fool who eats animals.” Upon learning of this blatant theft of his catch phrase, Mr. T founded McDonalds.
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There is a 11th commandment, edited out of the Bible, that says “None of the above applies to Mr. T.”
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Mr. T is allergic to doorknobs. That’s why he can only kick through doors.
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Mr. T once got into a fight with a ninja. He killed the ninja, but only after the ninja had cut off two of his fingers. Those fingers grew up to be Gary Coleman and Webster.
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Originally the A-Team was named T-Team and consisted of Mr. T and six of his genetically engineered clones driving around in a van made of pure gold. Producers changed the format after every criminal known to man was killed in the pilot episode.
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Most people believe the chemical formula for what sustains life is H2O, when in fact it is MrT + 2JPf. The ionic bond between JibbaJabba and PityingFools is so great that if one attempts to split that molecule, Chuck Norris jumps from a flaming truck and roundhouse kicks that person in the teeth.
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Mr. T invented Asian people, because he thinks they’re cute and don’t take up much room.
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The reason there are no known photographs in existence of a young Mr. T is that he is over 835 years old, and therefore pre-dates cameras. His age is attributed to Death being too scared of Mr. T to come for him. He tried once, but was pitied like a fool, so went looking instead for the next ‘T’ in his book, Thomas Beckett.
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Mr. T once had so many fools to pitty that he didn’t know what to do with them all. So he created Chuck Norris, from one of his ribs and a pound of gold, to roundhouse kick the surplus of fools in the face.
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Mr. T got all of his golden jewelry from defeating Misters A through S in hand-to-hand combat and collecting it off of their dead remains. Kinda like that movie “The One”, only except there’s a lot less jibba jabba and fewer fools.
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Remember, only you can prevent forest fires. But also remember that you can’t do shit, because Mr. T is the one who starts them, and no one can stop that crazy fool.
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The gold in Mr. T’s chains is actually 48 carat gold. It is the purest element in the universe and was made by King Midas. Only Mr. T can touch 48 carat gold without being vaporzied instantly.
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Mr. T knows the muffin man; he had sex his wife.
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Mr T. is in fact 120 feet tall, breathes fire, and pisses liquid gold. but since no human on earth can comprehend his awsomeness, he formed a man out of gold, rock, and c-4 explosives to pity us all.
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Small animals find Mr. T irresistable and can be found playing in his mohawk. Mr. T tolerates them because “they don’t give me no lip.”
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Mr. T’s infamous catch phrase was misunderstood to be “I Pity The Fool” when it was actually “I Pee In Your Food”. Mr. T then proceded to eat a bag of kittens.
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As a kid, Mr. T loved to play the game of Hot Potato. Of course, he didn’t play with a regular potato. Rather, Mr. T preferred playing with a live hand grenade. Mr. T pities the fool who’s no good at hot potato.
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Mr T defines love as the reluctance to murder. If you’re still alive, it’s because Mr T loves you.
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Mr. T was the only kid at his high school. His high school was undefeated in all sports for the one year it took him to graduate. This is not surprising considering he invented every sport.
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If at the exact same moment, the same person was pitied by Mr. T and roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, the universe would implode.
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Mr. T was once clocked at 100 fps. That’s 100 fools pitied a second.
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There is a commonly told story talking about how Mr T. entered into a Mr. T look-alike contest and came in 3rd. This is obviously not true, because nobody would be alive to tell the tale after the amount of pitying that would have taken place.
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Mr.T actually came up with the theory of relavity, Einstein merely stole it from him. Although originaly this was called Mr.T’s theory of relative pity, Einstein in fact mistranslated it into ‘jibba jabba’
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A random onlooker once taunted Mr. T. Mr. T responed by hitting the man so hard that both his parents died.
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Mr. T once pitied a fool so hard that he burst into flames.
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When asked what a pitying feels like, Mr. T responded “Rip off your own genetalia”.
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Mr. T’s umbilical cord was actually a large gold chain… the medallion didn’t grow in until he was 6 months old.
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Mr. T’s autobiography, “So Many Fools, Not Enough Pity,” was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for its heartwarming and inspiring tales of Mr. T overcoming his fear of flying, and his battle with gold-addiction–as well the sweet tutorial on how to install machine-gun turrets on top of a GMC van using a welding torch, a 55-gallon drum, chicken wire, and skim milk.
But who has the better beard?
Chuck or Mr. T?
Am I the only one here who had the Mr. T starter bodybuilding set when he was a kid? Anyone?
Gawdamn that was some tasty cereal.
love it…
hey boy!!!
I liked that cereal, and also had the matchbox van. It ended up getting doused with superglue and set on fire though.
[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
I liked that cereal, and also had the matchbox van. It ended up getting doused with superglue and set on fire though.
[/quote]
Funny. Mine ended up on fire as well. Odd. I think Hannibal is still on top of the roof at my parent’s house…right next to Skeletor.
Know why Mr. calls himself Mr. T? Anybody?
When he was in college , he like a lot of fashionable blacks was a muslim. He wanted to be called mr. mohammed or something like that so him and a professor just agreed on Mr T , b/c his last name is torenthal or terrence or something like that.
Uh what else, he lived in harlem i think w/ a lot of other blacks…uh what else…
Ok , he used to bounce for a club called " Dingbats " . He caught somebody’s eye and then entered a toughman contest for bouncers. It consisted of a boxing match, a run up a abandoned bulding’s staircase , and some other things. He trained for this by actually going into an abandoned building and running up and down it, he also ran straight through a freaking door. Incredible. This contest is probably what propelled him into show business b/c he obviously has personality.
One time some dude hit or threatened his dad so him and his brothers got a bunch of rifles and guns and patrolled the streets of harlem ( i am pretty sure it was harlem again not positive) looking for the people that did it. Scary stuff they shouldnt be allowed to have guns but thats modern america for you.
Anyway , there’s some Mr. T history.
One of Mr. T’s favorite foods has been birthday cake and milk. He also wrestled in high school so he’s an intimidating guy . Im just glad he got out of the rotting harlem existence and made something of himself. There’s just too much poverty where he is from unfortunately. If i could do anything it would be a social walefare program or something go figure.
From
Mr. T - Wikipedia.
Mr. T (born Laurence Tureaud, May 21, 1952) is an actor mostly known for his roles in the 1980s television series The A-Team and as boxer Clubber Lang in the movie, Rocky III.
Acting roles and work
In The A-Team, he played Sergeant Bosco “Bad Attitude” Baracus, an ex-army commando on the run with three other members from the US government “for crimes they didn’t commit”. Mr. T is famous for his customized trademark Mohawk-style haircut and for the numerous gold chains, rings and bracelets he wears. His catch phrase, “I pity the fool!” comes from Rocky III, where he played a boxer facing Rocky Balboa in a match. When asked if he hated Rocky, he replied, “I don’t hate Balboa, I pity the fool.” This exchange, also from the movie:
Interviewer: What's your prediction for the fight?
Clubber Lang: My prediction?
Interviewer: Yes, your prediction.
[Clubber looks into camera]
Clubber Lang: Pain!
became another catch phrase.
In 1982 Mr. T was spotted by Sylvester Stallone while taking part in “The World’s Toughest Bouncer” contest. His role in Rocky III was originally intended as just a few lines, but Stallone built up the part around the man. “Mr. T” also appeared in another boxing film, Penitentiary 2, and in a cable television special, Bizarre, before accepting the role of B.A. in The A-Team. When asked at a press conference whether he was as stupid as B.A. Baracus, he observed quietly, “It takes a smart guy to play dumb.”
Mr. T is 5 ft 10 in (1.78 m) tall and very tough looking. His gold jewelry is genuine and worth around $300,000. He acquired the jewelry during his stint as a bouncer, where he would take jewelry from disorderly people and wear them himself. His jewelry is mostly a testament to how well he performed his job as a bouncer. It takes him about an hour to put it on, and most nights he cleans it in an ultrasonic cleaner although some nights he sleeps in it “to see how my ancestors, who were slaves, felt.” Mr. T sold most of his jewelry during his bout with cancer, but has appeared on television wearing his signature gold chains since then. He was once reported to be earning around $80,000 a week for his role in The A-Team and getting $15,000 for personal appearances, but by the end of the 1990s, he was appearing only in the occasional commercial, largely because of health problems. In 1995, Mr. T was diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma.
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Biography
Wikiquote has a collection of quotations related to:
Mr. T
Laurence Tureaud was born in Chicago, Illinois, the eleventh of twelve children; he and his four sisters and seven brothers grew up in the city’s housing projects. He was a college football star, studied martial arts, and won a scholarship to Prairie View A&M University, Texas, but was thrown out after a year. After that he went to a couple of small Chicago colleges on athletic scholarships. After leaving college he was a Military Policeman in the U.S. Army before trying out for the Green Bay Packers. His professional football career was finished, however, by a knee injury. After this, his aspirations were set higher - the first in his family to become a broadway dancer. He began on his journey by making connections to the celebrity community.
For about nine years Mr. T was a bodyguard to the stars, protecting such well-known personalities as Muhammad Ali, Michael Jackson, and Diana Ross. He charged around $3,000 a day and his business card famously read, “Next to God, there is no better protector than I.” He always boasts that he never lost a client, saying, “I got hurt worse growing up in the ghetto than working as a bodyguard.”
In 1970 he changed his name by deed poll from Laurence Tureaud to Laurence Tero and then in 1980 to “Mr. T” so that people would have to address him as “Mr.” It was while reading National Geographic that Mr. T first saw the unusual hairstyle for which he is now famous, on an African Mandinka warrior. He decided that adopting the style was a powerful statement about his African origins. Another theory is that Mr. T wanted his hair cut in the shape of a “T,” so that when people asked him his name, he would show them the “T” on his head. However, the haircut went awry, so, to save face, he decided to say that he cut his hair in the same fashion as the Mandinka warriors.
A Ruby-Spears produced cartoon called Mr. T premiered in 1983 on NBC. The Mr. T cartoon starred Mr. T as himself, the owner of a gym where a group of gymnasts trained. He would help them with their training, but they would also help him solve mysteries and fight crime. Sixteen episodes were produced.
In 1984, Mr. T made a motivational video called “Be Somebody or Be Somebody’s Fool.” He gives helpful advice to children throughout the video; for example, he teaches them how to understand and appreciate their origins, how to dress fashionably without buying designer labels, how to control their anger, and how to deal with peer pressure. The video is roughly one hour long, but contains 30 minutes of singing, either by the mob of children accompanying Mr. T, or by Mr. T himself. Mr. T sings “Treat Your Mother Right (Treat Her Right),” (video available here) in which he enumerates the reasons why it is important to treat your mother right, and also raps a song about growing up in the ghetto and praising God. The raps in this video were written by Ice T.
In 1986 Mr. T removed many trees from his mansion in Lake Forest, Illinois explaining that he had allergies. This created a large controversy and led several North Shore communities to enact ordinances making the removal of old growth trees illegal.
“Mr. T” entered the world of professional wrestling in 1985. He was Hulk Hogan’s tag-team partner at the first WrestleMania. Hulk Hogan wrote in his autobiography that Mr. T almost ruined the main event of WrestleMania I between them and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper and “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, because when he arrived, security would not let his entourage into the building. Mr. T was ready to skip the show until Hogan personally talked him out of leaving. Roddy Piper mentioned that he and other fellow wrestlers legitimately disliked Mr. T, because he was an actor coming into wrestling, and had not paid his dues as a professional wrestler. He returned to the World Wrestling Federation as a special guest referee in 1987, before disappearing from the wrestling world. He reappeared as a special referee for a Hogan-Ric Flair match, seven years later, in October 1994.
In 2005, Mr T announced he would never wear his chains again saying, ?No, T, you can never wear your gold again. ?It’s an insult to God." He came to this decision after seeing the tragic effects of Hurricane Katrina. Mr. T, also donated many clothes and money to Katrina victims. He has been reported to be working on a new reality television show for TV Land, called I Pity the Fool, which will find the devout Christian assisting those in need.
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Recent events
Mr. T poses with Seanbaby
Enlarge
Mr. T poses with Seanbaby
Mr. T is famous on the Internet for two phenomena that were created to honor him. The first, Mr. T Ate My Balls, quickly became applied to other celebrities. The other, Mr. T. vs…, is a phenomenon of web pages depicting Mr. T fighting other celebrities, political figures, fictional characters, and other famous people in multi-page online comic books, made with rather substandard photo editing and doctoring techniques. Mr. T traditionally wins the contest, later to relax with a glass of milk.
The 2004 Veggie Tales DVD Sumo of the Opera is a parody of the Rocky franchise and features a character, Po Ta To, based on Mr. T’s role in Rocky III as Clubber Lang. Po Ta To sports a mohawk similar to Mr. T’s, utters the catchphrase, “I pity the clown!” and is amused by his opponent’s “jibber-jabber.”
Mr. T is a born-again Christian, and he frequently appears on the TBN Christian television series. He recently was the subject of a sketch on British comedy show Little Britain. He is also the subject of recurring “The All New Adventures Of Mr.T” sketch on Saturday Night Live by Robert Smigel, in which Mr. T and a group of teenagers drive around in a van, ? la Scooby-Doo, and have adventures while Mr. T tries to find work. He has also appeared in commercials for MCI’s 1-800-COLLECT collect-call service.
He lives in Sherman Oaks, California, and is single. Mr. T still seeks acting jobs and has had small roles in several films. There is currently a campaign to have Mr. T on LBC, a London-based radio station, all carried out by Iain Lee, a British comedian. However on September 10 Iain Lee read out the letter which had been sent by Mr. T’s Agent, it stated ‘Mr. T would not like to take part in a local radio station,’ as a result Iain Lee’s LBC producer is not using soundbytes of Mr T. As a promise Lee had said during a show “If I can’t get Mr. T by Christmas I will resign!”; this predicament is seeming likelier. He has also made a few appearances on Late Night with Conan O’Brian.
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Album
Album cover to Mr. T’s Commandments.
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Album cover to Mr. T’s Commandments.
Mr. T in 1984 released a rap album titled Mr. T’s Commandments much in the same tone as his '84 educational video which instructs children to stay in school and to stay away from drugs.
Track Listing
- Mr. T’s Commandments
- Dont Talk to Strangers
- The Toughest Man in the World
- Mr. T, Mr. T (He Was Made for Love)
- The One and Only Mr. T
- No Dope No Drugs
- You Got to Go Through It
Album length: 31:14
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Filmography
* Rocky VI (2007) .... Clubber Lang
* Johnny Bravo (2005) .... Himself
* The Simpsons (2004) .... Himself
* Not Another Teen Movie (2001)....The Wise Janitor
* Apocalypse IV: Judgment (2001) .... J. T. Quincy
* Judgment (2000) .... J. T. Quincy
* Inspector Gadget (1999) .... Himself
* Saturday Night Live: The Best of Eddie Murphy (1998) (Video) .... Mister Robinson's Neighbor
* Spy Hard (1996) .... Helicopter Pilot
* Magic of the Golden Bear: Goldy III (1994)
* Freaked (1993) .... The Bearded Lady (1993)
* T. and T. (1988) TV Series .... T. S. Turner
* Wrestlemania II (1986) (Video) .... Himself
* Wrestlemania (1985) (Video) .... Himself
* WWF Superstars of Wrestling (1984) TV Series .... Himself (1985-1986, 1988)
* Be Somebody or Be Somebody's Fool! (1984) (Video) .... Mr. T
* The Toughest Man in the World (1984) (TV) .... Bruise Brubaker
* Mister T (1983) TV Series .... Himself
* D.C. Cab (1983) .... Samson
* The A-Team (1983-1987) TV Series .... Sergeant Bosco "B.A." Baracus
* Twilight Theatre (1982) TV Series
* Rocky III (1982) .... Clubber Lang
* Penitentiary II (1982) .... Himself
Mr. T had an auto-biography that i read…i got it from him. So some of the details may not be true like the origen of " Mr. T " and some well, its been a while like where he is from.
But he’s a cool guy but harrison ford is cooler imho
Wow…You guys know that those were jokes right? This actually turned into a serious Mr T thread.
[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
Wow…You guys know that those were jokes right? This actually turned into a serious Mr T thread.[/quote]
At least someone got it! lol
[quote]lumbernac wrote:
But he’s a cool guy but harrison ford is cooler imho [/quote]
Errrr… Ok, then. Good times.
[quote]Lonnie123 wrote:
Wow…You guys know that those were jokes right? This actually turned into a serious Mr T thread.[/quote]
Really? You mean Mr. T did not create Chuck Norris from one of his ribs and a pound of gold?
Well, Virginia… I guess there is no Santa Claus.
[quote]RHINO928 wrote:
30. Mr. T’s autobiography, “So Many Fools, Not Enough Pity,”[/quote]
This one had me rolling 
Good job, Rhino!
Gotta read your Chuck Norris post now.
I was curious enough to look him up on wiki. I saw the 30 things site a few weeks ago and I think the actual biography may be wierder/funnier than the jokes. Imagine trying to explain T to someone who never lived in the 80s…
[quote]etaco wrote:
Imagine trying to explain T to someone who never lived in the 80s…[/quote]
You mean there are people that didn’t!?
[quote]Professor X wrote:
Am I the only one here who had the Mr. T starter bodybuilding set when he was a kid? Anyone?
Gawdamn that was some tasty cereal.[/quote]
There was a guy that trained at Golds back in 79-80-81 ,that resembled MR.T,he used to train in Camo outfit ,combat boots and work gloves ,used to rep with 500 on the Bench,anyone know if that was him??
We catch up with Mr T. at the outskirts of Vatican city as he returns the last the world leaders kidnapped by the Cybermen. . . .
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