26 Years Old, Totally Lost, No Motivation To Live Anymore, Labs Inside

Pharma TRT
1

Hello

STORY:

I can say everything started 18 months ago, despite the fact that I’ve always had slight puffy nips, trouble packing on muscle mass, lowish muscle strength and lowish libido compared to my friends. I also had female type fat pattern and I was always skinny-fat. I’ve been using cialis occasionally. However, 18 months ago, started to lose erection without cialis. My sex performance and libido declined. I’ve decided to go to an urologist and do some blood work. Below you can see first BW results:

LH: 5.07 mIU/mL (1.7 - 8.6)
FSH: 2.18 mIU/mL (1.5 - 12.4)
Total Testosterone: 3.94 ng/mL (2.49 - 8.36)
Prolactin: 12.89 ng/mL (4.04 - 15.2)

Doc started me on Sustanon 250 every three weeks. However, after the first injection, i didn’t want to go straightforward into TRT and went another doctor who is considered to be one of the best in the country. Explained him everything. He sent me to testicle doppler ultrasound. Result came back ok, testicles are ok despite a small varicocele which he said it shouldn’t cause any trouble. Then he put me on clomid 25mg E2D for 3 months. ED became worse. Libido went to zero. Cialis worked less. However, I put on decent muscle mass and my energy levels went high. After 2.5 months on clomid, my doc wanted a bloodwork:

LH: 8.1 mIU/mL (1.7 - 8.6)
FSH: 2.83 mIU/mL (1.5 - 12.4)
Total Testosterone: 826 ng/dL (249 - 836)
Prolactin: 10.23 ng/mL (4.04 - 15.2)
Estradiol: 63.76 (27.1 - 52.2) → NOT SENSITIVE

He told me that my testicles respond well and I have no problems. I asked him about my high estradiol value and low FSH despite clomid therapy, he said no need to worry about those values, everything is fine. And advised me to stop clomid cold turkey, in order to let my body do its work and balance all hormones.

I stopped clomid cold turkey as my doc advised and I totally lost my libido and ability to get an erection as well as all muscle mass gained while on clomid. Also clomid left me a slight gyno mass on my right nipple. 2 months after stopping clomid, I went to a private lab and done BW:

Total Testosterone: 472 ng/dL (295 - 869)
Estradiol: 41 pg/mL (20.1 - 42.5) <— NOT SENSITIVE

I started to think my problem is and was about estrogen since my testosterone is decent (not very high but seems ok). I started to use letrozole (self medicate) 2.5mg tabs 1/4 tab E2D. On the second day, I had brutal high libido, strong in the gym and etc. After 10 days, I went to same private lab again to see what’s going on.

Total Testosterone: 934 ng/dL (295 - 869)
Estradiol: 23 pg/mL(20.1 - 42.5) <— NOT SENSITIVE

However, dream didnt last long. I started to have massive headaches and started to feel like shit. Tried to play with the dose for a while, but failed. In addition, my cholestrol values skyrocketed therefore I had to stop using letro. All symptoms came back, gyno came back. I was natural for a while, then I read ksman’s restart protocol on t-nation forum and tried that protocol, tried AI monotherapy, tried nolva + arimidex, tried arimidex only, aromasin, raloxifene, etc… my estradiol always crashed or skyrocketed, impossible to control it (i didn’t do BW to find out crashing estradiol, but I knew what it feels like to have crashed estradiol or excess estradiol). Sometimes i could control E2 and feel good, but other times fluctuations killed me. Here is my detailed labs on low dose arimidex monotherapy (arimidex 1/8 tab every day):

LH: 7.13 mIU/mL (1.24 - 8.62)
FSH: 3.31 mIU/mL (1.27 - 19.26)
Total Testosterone: 5.07 ng/mL (2.49 - 8.36)
Prolactin: 11.31 ng/mL (2.64 - 13.13)
Estradiol: 24.67 pg/mL (11.3 - 43.2) <— NOT SENSITIVE
PSA: 1.23 ng/mL (<2.5)
SHBG: 31.6 nmol/L (18.3 - 54.1)

Labs looked decent but I felt like shit, achy joints, ED, libido issues. I started to think maybe it’s a thyroid problem, got a detailed Thyroid panel:

TSH: 0.78 µIU/mL (0.41 - 5.18)
Free T4: 1.33 ng/dL (0.61 - 1.12)
Free T3: 4.1 pg/mL (2.5 - 4.37)

Thyroid came fine. After all those failed self-medicated protocols, I decided to come clean and go natural route (used zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, weightlifting, resveratrol etc…). Puffy nips came with a vengeance. Libido went to zero again. ED came back. Developed CPPS (or prostatitis). Urine flow became weaker. I went and got tested again in an hospital:

LH: 5.29 mIU/mL (1.24 - 8.62)
FSH: 2.34 mIU/mL (1.27 - 19.26)
Total Testosterone: 3.79 ng/mL (1.75 - 7.81)
Prolactin: 11.89 ng/mL (2.64 - 13.13)
Estradiol: 49 pg/mL (20 - 47) <— NOT SENSITIVE

My estradiol was high, but I decided to give my body more time to reach homeostatis. Meanwhile I developed severe pelvic pain and severe ED. Cialis stopped working, it was only working like %40. I went to ANOTHER urologist mainly for prostatitis symptoms but also general hormone issues. He tested my prostate culture and diagnosed me with chronic bacterial prostatitis, gave me antibiotics. But he also tested my hormones (except estradiol):

LH: 2.12 mIU/mL (2 - 10)
FSH: 1.5 mIU/mL (1 - 15)
Total Testosterone: 22.3 nmol/L (10,4 - 34,7)
Prolactin: 10.45 ng/mL (3.50 - 20)

I am totally lost.

QUESTIONS:

  1. Why my estradiol is always high? What can I do to solve this problem other than using AI’s? Since sensitive estradiol test is not available in my country, is there any possibility those results are showing false high?
  2. If my estradiol is really high (not false high because of standard test), isn’t going TRT route going to create more E2 problems since even clomid e2d made my estradiol 63 pg/ml?
  3. If I decide to try TRT, only testosterone injections available are sustanon and nebido. How can I create a good protocol made of one of those?
  4. Why my FSH always low, even on clomid? Is this a problem even with decent total T?
  5. My prolactin level is always on the higher side. Could it be prolactin causing libido problems?
  6. I have a theory about an accident which I hit my head 3 years ago. Wasn’t a severe hit, but I read that even moderate strokes to head can cause pituitary failure. Since TSH, FSH, LH all are pituitary hormones and all of them are low on my bloodworks, maybe I have hypopituitarism? What do you think? How to diagnose hypopituitarism? What route to go if my pituitary is damaged from that stroke?

TL/DR:

Sorry for long post and my english (english is not my native language), but I desperately need your help. If you don’t want to read the whole post, please read questions only. However, I would be really happy if someone with a lot of knowledge about those topics read my whole story and help me. I even think about suicide, I don’t think I can commit suicide nor I want to do it, but i think about it.

Any help appreciated.

2

You just convert a lot of testosterone into estrogen do to high aromatase activity which lives in fat tissue. You are an AI over-responder like myself, I dissolve 0.050 anastrozole in 5mls of vodka and dose .2mls twice weekly using graduated glass droppers.

My vote is for Sustanon, smaller more frequent dosing will lower estrogen. An every 3 week dosing of Sustanon is not optimal, even every 2 weeks is far from optimal and I can’t believe they are still doing it.

The smaller more frequent the dosage, the smaller the estrogen peak and the lower the estrogen and higher the testosterone. I’ve noticed everytime I lower my dosage and inject more frequently, estrogen is always lower.

50mg Twice weekly sees estrogen at 70 pg/mL, 20mg EOD 43 pg/mL, every day dosing on cypionate will see estrogen even lower. See the trend, estrogen decreases on smaller more frequent dosing.

If you could get ahold of Test ethanate, you have it made do to the single esters vs the multiple esters in Sustanon which can have a negative effect on estrogen if what the UK doctors at balancemyhormnes clinic (in Dorset) are correct.

3

I wanted to chime in on this thread, I also had a small varicocele that caused near identical symptoms (including low testosterone). Varicocele is known to cause low testosterone and mess with the HPTA in a lot of ways. Some research points out that the testicles contain Thyroid-releasing hormone (TRH) receptors/cells, which may be part of the temperature control loop.

A few things happen due to varicocele (in my research):

  • It’s been said that varicocele causes a large influx of free testosterone (and DHT) to hit the prostate tissues due to the “pooling” that happens in the testicle. As a protection mechanism, I believe the HPTA senses this and lowers testosterone and thyroid hormone production to a degree (this is just a theory I have based on labs), to mitigate problems with increased scrotal temperature (impacting sperm production) and protect the prostate. With that said, the prostate becomes aggravated due to the hormonal spurts and can appear like prostatitis symptoms. It’s been said that taking TRT can “fix” this issue, because the testosterone is not exclusively created in the testicles.
  • Varicocele creates an oxidative stress environment within the testicles. Some men have no issues, because genetically they can produce high enough levels of antioxidants (which are also mediated through thyroid hormone production) to mitigate any issues. Glutathione (the body’s natural antioxidant) lowers with age, and usually low testosterone eventually settles in for most guys with varicoceles.
  • HCG “might” not be a wise idea for varicocele sufferers due to the pooling issue, TRT solo may be the best solution long-term.

I would consider finding a good doctor and looking into TRT.

4

I have a mild varicocele in one of them, I had done a surgery long time back to fix it also, Doc said do sperm test and all turned out OK, he said if it’s fine then no need to fix it. As it’s very mild not serious.

I wonder if that is the case I had another fiend who have varicocele also and suffer from LOW-T. I feel there could be a link.

5

I also been using hcg monotherapy almost completed a week 250iu but did a test yesterday although wrong time and All NOTHING happening.

I wonder if I need to push and fix this mild varicocele.

6

Find a compound pharmacy and ask them
To Compound cypionate . I saw someone in Australia do
The