What Would Lincoln Say?

Off Topic Politics & World Issues
101

[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
Sloth wrote:
Varq, what did I do, man?

I don’t know. What did you do?

“Fool me twice, shame on Texas; fool Tennessee, shame on the evildoers… aww shit Dick I can’t get this damn thing right…”

Cheney: “Did you just call me shitdick?”[/quote]

You may have heard this one.

George Bush goes to Buckingham Palace and meets with the Queen of England.

He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Bush frowns. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Gordon Brown in here, would you?”

Gordon Brown walks into the room. “Yes, Madam?”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Gordon. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Gordon answers, “that would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Back at the White House in Washington DC, Bush decides to try out the Queen’s riddle. He finds Dick Cheney.

“Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Dick. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Cheney asks every cabinet member he can find, but no one can give him an answer.

Finally, he ends up in the White House men’s room, and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in the next stall.

He shouts, “Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Colin yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Dick smiles and says, “thanks!” He returns to the Oval office to speak with Bush.

“Say, Mr. President, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell.”

Bush stands up, stomps over to Cheney, and angrily yells at him, “no, you idiot! It’s Gordon Brown!”

102

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
DrSkeptix wrote:

Gee, I had thought that V’s remarks, and line of reasoning, while tangential, were just hyperbolic. The thread reached its apogee, and its trajectory has been parabolic. This you can secant you? I may be missin’ the point, but perhaps the reasoning is circular…or there has been an ellipsis.

Anyhow, I have lost my focus, and this post will be cosined to the comic sections.

A radiant insight, by any measure.
As for hyperbole, I respect it, but every one has limits, in theory.
But why go on about the mean value of slavery? There is no calculus of its derived value, compared to imprisonment. In this thread, it torus apart.

Well, back to the sin-cere posts.

I’m impressed, Doc. And here I thought you only did bicycle puns.
[/quote]

You spoke too soon; I never tire of those either.
I’ll stop, for the common weal, before I start a revolution.
(But when pookie tries to out-pun me, it is top-ology!)

103

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
Sloth wrote:
Varq, what did I do, man?

I don’t know. What did you do?

“Fool me twice, shame on Texas; fool Tennessee, shame on the evildoers… aww shit Dick I can’t get this damn thing right…”

Cheney: “Did you just call me shitdick?”

You may have heard this one.

George Bush goes to Buckingham Palace and meets with the Queen of England.

He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Bush frowns. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Gordon Brown in here, would you?”

Gordon Brown walks into the room. “Yes, Madam?”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Gordon. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Gordon answers, “that would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Back at the White House in Washington DC, Bush decides to try out the Queen’s riddle. He finds Dick Cheney.

“Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Dick. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Cheney asks every cabinet member he can find, but no one can give him an answer.

Finally, he ends up in the White House men’s room, and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in the next stall.

He shouts, “Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Colin yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Dick smiles and says, “thanks!” He returns to the Oval office to speak with Bush.

“Say, Mr. President, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell.”

Bush stands up, stomps over to Cheney, and angrily yells at him, “no, you idiot! It’s Gordon Brown!”[/quote]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAA

104

[quote]Varqanir wrote:
FightinIrish26 wrote:
Varqanir wrote:
Sloth wrote:
Varq, what did I do, man?

I don’t know. What did you do?

“Fool me twice, shame on Texas; fool Tennessee, shame on the evildoers… aww shit Dick I can’t get this damn thing right…”

Cheney: “Did you just call me shitdick?”

You may have heard this one.

George Bush goes to Buckingham Palace and meets with the Queen of England.

He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Bush frowns. “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle.”

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Gordon Brown in here, would you?”

Gordon Brown walks into the room. “Yes, Madam?”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Gordon. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Gordon answers, “that would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Back at the White House in Washington DC, Bush decides to try out the Queen’s riddle. He finds Dick Cheney.

“Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Dick. “Let me get back to you on that one.”

Cheney asks every cabinet member he can find, but no one can give him an answer.

Finally, he ends up in the White House men’s room, and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in the next stall.

He shouts, “Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Colin yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Dick smiles and says, “thanks!” He returns to the Oval office to speak with Bush.

“Say, Mr. President, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell.”

Bush stands up, stomps over to Cheney, and angrily yells at him, “no, you idiot! It’s Gordon Brown!”[/quote]

LOL. quality