I told people that ask… I am not prepared for this level of adulting and I meant it. Hardest thing ever but, you will get through it. You got this! Just do the best you can and that will be enough.
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My parents are mid-80s now. Five plus years ago my Pop had two strokes on the same day. My mother has also started struggling with macular degeneration. They are, for all intents and purposes home bound. My Gaffer has finally quit trying to get his driver’s license, but I suspect he still tries to drive to Costco and back. He has always been ornery, the strokes have just made him ornerier. A few years back we were all in SLC dining at a Michelin restaurant (I believe) when he asked the waitress, “I have to ask, are those real or fake?” Needless to say we were mortified, and well as our server was. They do live on 4 acres and that keeps them busy with flowers, mowing, my father still chops and mauls his own firewood, but unfortunately they need assistance. I am 900 miles away. Putting them in a home is out of the question. I retire in two years. I have access to a family home ten miles from their place, but I think my wife and I might rent the house in Idaho and move in with my parents for as long as they need us to. It is not easy.
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On the subject of personal failings:
When my dad was dying from cancer/alcoholism my response was a 3 year drug bender wherein I blew a fortune up my nose, contaminated every environment I entered, and ended up in jail.
So this time, after many years and much life experience I can look back and say “Yeah. That sucked. Don’t do that again.”.
You’re doing it. Thats the important part. You don’t like it or want it, and you could use all of the same reasons everybody else does, but you don’t.
I applaud you for facing the fears head on and doing it anyways.
Petition for self loathing: Denied.
Admiration: Granted.
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I am already looking at minimizing. My daughter worked in an assisted living community for a few years. She did a good job, people liked her. One 90 year old would tell her she was “hot”. That was good for a chuckle. She took care of a Nobel prize winner. But one day she got home and had two porcelain lions with her. A lady she was taking care of had passed. The woman had collected porcelain lions for years and had a lot. The children were going to throw them away. But they gave my daughter those two because she had done such a good job. But it struck me, when we come to our end all the items we might have cherished mean nothing to those left behind. Our stuff is either given to anyone who might care, but tossed if not. When my grandfather passed I was literally told not to come back to see him. Six months later when they had his memorial we were finally able to get back to California, to his home. Between my sister and her kids, and my step grandmothers kids, the house was gutted. But we were able to get the photos he had taken during WWII and the liberation of the Philippines, the portrait of him as a captain in the Army, his Masonic trowel, and Masonic apron. We also found a picture of my grandmother at her retirement party shaking hands with an admiral and congressman. I look at that as the most important items, we won. He also gave me the baby grand piano years before.
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@ChickenLittle @SkyzykS @Friedrich thanks for all the things today. 
I had an especially rough start to the day and my car ride wasn’t great. Stuck in my own head is not a fantastic place to be. It was comforting to hear from you. I like this thread because I can show all my ugly and it’s ok. I’m in this weird place where my children need me less and less and my parents need me more and more. It’s a strange transition to make. Also I feel kind of like a douche because there are people dealing with way worse and I’m over here being all whiny. Anyway, I got to see my parents and my sister and everyone seemed to be doing ok. I will spend all day tomorrow with my parents so I hope mom has a good day.
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I hope your mom and dad, your sister and YOU all have a good day tomorrow.
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Nope.
Sorry. Too easy. Can’t hang your hat on that when there are so many other emotions to identify.
You feel: Empathy? Sympathy?
Survivors guilt? Etc.
.
They’re very fortunate to have such loving daughters.
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Side note. I was telling my parents about the guy on the lifting forum that I talk to who is from Pittsburgh. 
You are now famous in our home. Lol
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Thats good.
Cuz here I’m the guy that forgot to pick up milk while he was at it, where ever and what ever at it may be. 
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