This Coffee Fad

That phrase is definitely going in my rolodex, but my entire problem revolves around my compulsion to continue producing new coffee euphemisms for this lady. Your modus operandi doesn’t suit my goals, unfortunately.

I think she may even be in on the game. I can’t be certain, but there may be a reason she’s asking me the same question over and over.

Who can know such things? Best to play it on the safe side.

That can’t be. I made that phrase up. Nobody’s used that unique and brilliant combination of words in my presence but me. You must’ve heard it from someone I told it to.

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You could also add in a gesture with your hand or fingers and a “ya know what I’m sayin?” too.

Ex.

Her: “So, what are you up to?”.

You: pointing toward the ceiling, rotating finger " About to start a Sumatran sewer tsunami, know what I’m sayin’?" while turning the rotating finger downward.

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That’s fantastic stuff. Exploring the landscape of euphemisms that can be found in the weeds of a proper coffee shit never even occurred to me.

You’ve given me at least a few weeks of material with that idea. Thank you so much. I think that promotion is right around the corner now.

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It could go either way. Worst case, she decides that’s the go ahead to start talking about her habits, and you end up knowing all kinds of stuff about her that you probably (yeah, I’m assuming here) didn’t want to know about her.

The Rubicon has already been crossed. Some people just like to share unusual details about their lives, and that’s fine with me. I’m already operating under the worst case framework you describe.

That’s why I’m choosing my moves carefully here. Chess, not checkers.

My God, is this what we’ve come to?

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That opens things up a lot, actually. I mean, who knows, you have a couple of those fancy Tibetan Chai latte landslides, you might need a sherpa.

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Unfortunately, yes. If only life was as simple as saying “I’m filling my cup with coffee.” I do my best to navigate the workplace but sometimes I need a helping hand to find my way out of the maze. I’m sure you encounter many situations of similar gravity as you go about your profession.

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Is it just me, or is “living the dream” the ultimate indicator that a man is on the verge of losing it? If I ask a guy on my ship how he is, and he says “shoot me,” I know he is having a fine day. But if I ask how he is and he goes “living the dream,” now I gotta send someone to make sure he doesn’t jump overboard as part time of that dream haha

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Ranks right up there with "Just another day in paradise. "

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At this point “livin’ the dream” seems synonymous with something like “same ol’ same ol’” to me. More “meh” than something worrying.

In fact, thinking about it, I might even say it pretty cheerily. Sure, there’s the sarcasm, but the dark element seems pretty well gone to me. So if I say “livin’ the dream!” while working at a health center, it may be obvious to us all that the the grubby stained chairs and screaming babies aren’t ideal but there can also be an undertone of satisfaction.

So, in summary: depends on tone, lol.

I really discourage oversharing at work.

Ya, that’s a big one here too.

It’s all about the caffeine + it’s warm/hot which is a nice bonus!!!

So…

Not coffee related, but these sayings are typically meant to be sarcastic?

Uh oh. That kinda explains my last 25 years of bad reception and awkward misperceptions.

Honestly, I’ve used these a lot- on good days, having fun, getting it done and 99.9% of the time actually meant it.

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I actually agree with you entirely, coffee tastes like crap and people that drink it, their breath smells awful. When I see the lines of people at DD & Starbucks in the morning I always think how pathetic it is they can’t get through the day without caffeine. What a bunch of pussies.

Why would you tell yourself these things?

Damn son … surprised you even see those plebs getting their coffee on that high ass horse you’re trotting around on…

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It’s just my opinion. You need a tampon?

Please. Running to the store for my girlfriend when I get off work and this would save me the trip.

Why do people resort to “insults” like these?