Massholes are the worst … I drive around them literally everyday (disclaimer: am a Masshole. However, I drive marvelously). ![]()
Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure…
That is ridiculous on several levels, not the least of which is that if a pizza is worth eating at all, it should be done as its own activity, not just as some mechanical action of stuffing garbage down the ole foodpipe while attempting to drive.
The only excuse for this would be that he vastly underestimated the goodness of that pizza and it was messing up his ability to drive.
Related- Bad pizza pisses me off.
My experiences with Massholes go far beyond a brake-happy pizza-eater who was attempting to drive.
I was once behind a person I assumed to be a Massachusetts resident in the express line at the grocery store. I counted 15 items, but the sign clearly said 12 or less. You might want to watch that while you’re here chief, you’re a long ways from Nantucket.
A group of college aged students once came into my bar, and one of them was a Massachusetts resident. I was not at all shocked to see him walk in and leave the goddamn door wide open behind him, as if this were some shithole in Cambridge. I think not, Masshole.
Then there was that one time on I-95 when this jerk totally rode my ass the whole way through Portland. I had nowhere to go, what was I supposed to do? Close the 10 feet between me and the car in front? What kind of plates did he have? I’m sure you can guess by now.
Build the wall!
If it helps you could always play fallout 4. Many of the bad guys and raiders have Boston accents. There’s probably a mod to put patriots jerseys on them lol.
I would jump on the bandwagon more, but my only other experience with someone from masacasasa ah what ever…
…Is with a really great looking and brilliant female professor. She was friends with my wife, but I was crushing on her super hard when they hung out.
Monogamy pisses me off too. Its a freakin Trap!
The generalization that all guys are cheaters and cold-hearted players. I feel I need to vomit when I hear this, it’s an amount of ignorance that I can’t tolerate lol
Whenever I’ve driven through Maryland I always wanted to rage murder everyone with an MD license plate … terrible, miserable drivers they were … reminded me much of home
Lol, ya, MD drivers are the worst. The capital beltway is why road rage murder exists in the first place.
If I’ve made Massholes out to be a breed of reckless, selfish jerks, it is because they are. However, those cretins are virtual saints on the motorways compared to the out-of-state’ers I dealt with growing up as a Hoosier. I’m talking about the lowest of the low, the vilest of the vile, the ever-pervasive FIP.
These Fucking Illinois People are the worst goddamn drivers I’ve ever shared the road with. Don’t expect them to use the turn signal, unless they happen to leave it on for miles and miles. Do expect them to drive erratically. Just plan on getting passed on the right, and be ready to hit the brakes when he swerves right in front of you afterwards. They will not come to a complete stop, or even a Texas rolling stop, unless they need to finish sending that text or eating that bratwurst. Most of them live in Chicagoland and will carjack you the first chance they get.
Stay far away.
Can’t argue with that ![]()
I have driven in many, many countries, from Israel, to most all states in the USA except Alaska, to Canada, to basically all of Europe (in which I include Russia), to Mexico and various Latin American countries, to China, Taiwan, India and various places in Africa.
Most third world countries are terrible drivers. But there is a logic and chaos to the driving. They don’t actually seek to screw you. Rules are advisory, at best, and one better pay attention to the flow of traffic over pesky things like stop signs or even stop lights.
Japan are meticulous drivers. Polite, except in Tokyo itself, which is basically like any big city They do the “no, you go first” thing like in the USA South. You out-polite each other.
Russians are just drunk all the time, but actually pretty courteous. They do abuse the crap out of their cars and treat them as disposable. I guess because after a winter there, most cars turn to crap.
Israel, I often thought, had the worst habits of the entire world combined into one little country. Basically, every driving habit of the Diaspora has been brought together in a conflicting mass, with typical Middle Eastern hot headedness thrown in. It’s a mess.
But then I went to school and lived in Brookline MA and went to school in Cambridge. Basically drove through Allston every day. (This is all in what one would call “Boston” if not from Boston.)
Without hesitation, the drivers in MA are the worst drivers in the world. Not only are the drivers aggressive (which is OK), they actively seek to fuck you. You turn on your signal to get in a lane with plenty of room? Someone will drive faster to fuck you. They slow down to keep you from merging on the toll way. It’s one thing to be a dick because you want to be “first” or are in a hurry. It’s another to do things to fuck people just because you want them to have a bad day.
And Massholes fit into the second category. Aggressive to be dicks.
On a related note, posh london pricks who drive like idiots and yell at you to ‘lay off the sheep dip’. I don’t actually drink sheep dip, but I do drink the cheap whiskey down at my local, which is probably the same thing. All the same, it’s inconsiderate.
Drivers in Thailand are pretty crazy. I was drunk a lot while I was there, though so take that with a grain of salt. We just yelled, “Lao Lao” (I’m 100% sure that’s not the English spelling, I was told means “Faster Faster”) the whole time.
Most amazing driving/traffic I’ve ever seen was in Mumbai. Pure and utter chaos, yet not one accident did I see. It was much like Jewbacca’s description of 3rd world driving, and probably a lot like what you experienced in Thailand - but with a lot more people. They really don’t care about their vehicles there … bump someone’s car, they’ll just take a look and keep going. Of course their cars were shit cars, but still…
I’m from Illinois and take no offense to that whatsoever. Chicago area drivers are unreal, 100% pure self centered asshole. You’re not seeing turn signals because around Chicago they just signal other people to close gaps and keep you from getting where you’re trying to go. (Sounds funny I guess but not an exaggeration). What Jewbacca said about Massholes applies here too.
Other parts of the state are plagued by something that hasn’t been mentioned yet, the Missouri (Miz-ur-ah) driver. Missouri does not have a driver’s education program in schools, you just wing it and show up to take the test. It results in complete incompetence. Turn signals are never used because they haven’t been discovered yet. Cruise control? Nope, if you drive on any interstate that intersects Missouri, you can bet on passing the same pale blue fade license plates at least 2-3 times per encounter. Those white lines on the highways? Just recommendations.
I think there’s something to be said about people just driving crappy when they’re out of their state though, I had always thought Minnesota drivers were just “kinda slow eh” in multiple ways, but when driving up there in some serious snow, everyone really had it together. Iowa though, man, never had good experiences seeing those plates.
Best I’ve seen was in Germany, you had to really watch your ass getting into the left lane, but literally EVERYONE drove sensibly and predictably.
Oh ya you betcha! Go north and people get nicer on the roads.
Living in Maine my biggest complaint is people throwing out the rules of traffic in an effort to be polite. Just last weekend I was using my trusty turn signal to let other drivers know I was intending to make a left turn at a T intersection. Another driver was turning left on to the road I’m turning from, but instead of just taking his right of way and making the turn he sat there. So did I, since I’m wondering if or when this guy who has right-of-way guy will decide to make his turn.
Eventually he honked and waved at me to go, so I did. But the whole situation was unpredictable and took longer than it needed to because of unclear intentions. Was he letting me go or sending a text? Is he being an idiot, or a polite moron? Hard to tell sometimes.
This. So much this. I drive in Massachusetts and although there are various problems, my biggest complaint is people who randomly and needlessly yield the right of way. I get it when there is a long line of traffic and you let someone in. That is courteous and makes sense. But people will stop and let you go when there is no one behind them and it would be faster for them to expeditiously take their right of way so you can just then take yours.
I think that people randomly yielding the right of way for no reason actually creates the second biggest problem, which is people randomly taking right of way which isn’t theirs. They aren’t trying to be assholes. They just assume you are going to be nice, for some reason.
I have actually considered that there may be an unwritten rule of when you are allowed to take/ expected to yield a right of way in contradiction to the law. But I can’t seem to find any particular rhyme or reason to it.
This situation frustrates me the most. And on another note of being polite and letting people go…I tend to be very situationally aware wrt two way traffic and letting people out of parking lots either in front of me or cross-traffic. If me letting this person go will put me, them, or others in danger I do not let them go and I just keep on moving. If There’s no reason why I oughtn’t let them go in terms of safety for myself and other I let them go. The reason for this is I have visuals on traffic coming the other way they may not have. It seems sometimes people don’t think like me and just want to be nice. Being nice is what gets people t-boned in traffic.
People who throws away all of their fundamental values and moral,because the media says to do so! argh!!
Electronics who does not work the way it should,computers and smartphones that work on overtime,it pisses me off and i go ravin mad,three desktop computers have been beaten to atoms the last 4 years lol!