Well, I agree with you about mean people. But historically, I dealt with really mean people with a rifle several times. Pretty damn effective.
(A “gun” btw, is a piece of artillery, not a man-portable firearm. Unless you have a thing against cannons, which I totally get, as they tended to land their shells exactly wrong and did seriously piss me off, too.)
You can’t make the choice if you don’t know what the options are.
Very much agree with these. Overall, I mostly lack sympathy for adults who aren’t doing great in life. If you’re unwilling to get and keep a job, avoid breaking the law, and be a good example to your children (even if you’re not wealthy, you can still raise a decent human being), then that’s mostly on you, since you’re an adult who’s in charge of your own life.
However, Emily, like you said, I think it goes a lot deeper than that. I’ll just use my family as an example. I’m Native American, and while I am not from the reservation, my dad was born and raised there, and most of his family still is there. His dad, a decent guy, from what I’ve heard died in a car crash when my dad was (I think 8). My grandma and him had a good relationship - they actually loved each other and wanted a family and a future together, not just happened to have a kid through a one night stand. She was very brokenhearted after his death, and kinda went off the deep end. Became a heavy drinker, and pretty much took off, leaving my dad alone at their trailer houses on top of a hill, with the 20 other trailers they called their “town,” an hour+ from any hospitals, grocery stores, or stores. My dad began drinking and smoking pot daily, quit going to school, started getting into fights, watched his home become basically a party house that he was present at to watch the adults in his life be idiots, saw his uncle murdered, saw his aunts raped, and pretty much was on his own…before even finishing elementary school.
His mom kinda got her shit together, came back, they spent a couple years more there, then decided to move a few hours away to a real town, where I’ve grown up in. His mom met another dude, they had 3 daughters together, the guy physically abused my grandma in front of the kids, kicked my dad out of the house every few nights regardless of the weather, spent his money and free time drinking and neglecting his family, and my dad became more and more of an angry addict. He spent his high school years getting drunk/high, fighting, and working. That’s actually something that has never made much sense but is the #1 thing I respect about my dad - he’s an extremely hard worker and has held down a job nonstop since he was 16 years old. Not very unique, but for his demographic it’s impressive.
He had me with my mom at 17 (her) and 18 (him) years old, began working a 60+ hours a week for a masonry company where all of his coworkers and bosses expected him to quit within 2 weeks, because everyone knows Native guys only need that first paycheck so they can get another case of beer!
Anyway, he’s not an amazing dude now. He’s a good provider, and I love him, but he’s still angry, depressed, and an addict. His mom died a few years ago after 3 years of a very painful battle with cancer that no one was able to afford to help with. His sisters were 14 and 18 years old. His stepdad disappeared through it all. The older sister recently became sober after having a child who’s father is not in the picture and becoming a meth seller/user. The younger sister has abandoned her 4 year old son and has become an extremely bad meth addict. He’s still got a messed up life, and hasn’t really matured in the right ways to improve his mental health or change his ways of coping.
Anyway, didn’t mean to make that so long, but the point is, it’s not exactly the easiest thing ever to be an awesome person after becoming an addict at 10 years old and seeing horrible things, and to watch ALL of your loved ones ruin their lives. There’s countless stories like this, just within my own family, or within my tribe, and it’s the same all over the country. I’ve heard about intergenerational trauma, especially in the black and Native communities, and don’t know enough to comment on it, but it makes sense to me.
Bottom line, you don’t get a free pass to fuck up because your life sucked, but you also need to understand that some people’s perspectives on life and how they respond to things is VERY, very different.
Depends on the tribe and the res. Which one?
(For the record: Mescalero Apache, born and raised.)
Cheyenne River Sioux. Can’t speak for other parts of the country as well, but the Dakotas seem to have some of the worst reservations. Think Pine Ridge is poorest place in the country or something like that. Also maybe the highest for teen suicides? Which would be crazy for how small it is.
One of the things I’ve noticed about kids coming out of generationally poor families is that they don’t know how to dream, which is the basis (in my opinion) of goal-setting and long-term planning.
So that’s where people like me come in, hopefully. To teach them to dream: “okay, let’s make an imaginary video…you’re 25 and you just came home from work…where have you been all day?” and when they say they don’t know, I ask what they’re wearing, “a fancy suit? a lab coat?” and so on.
These pretend videos were heartbreaking for me, because it offered such a window into the kids’ lives. Like, come home and no one says hello, you just shuffle into the kitchen to make mac ‘n’ cheese.
Poverty is quicksand. It’s hard to escape it and easy to get sucked further in.
Our tribe has an exceedingly long history of going into the military. As in, probably 2/3 of the males in my graduating HS class and probably 1/2 the females.
And we are cranking along extremely well financially. We were also never big about government aid. Caught on with the blankets, the first time.
Compare and contrast with the Zuni who mock people for joining the “white man’s army”, which I bet can give the Cheyenne River Sioux (discussed above) a run for their money in being completely worthless human beings. Good meth cookers, though. Best in New Mexico.
I chuckled at this, should I have chuckled at this? 
It’s ok, I did too 
Chinese “ancestor worship” rituals
Basically, we drive for 3 hours (4 with traffic) to kow tow in front of mounds of burning chemical paper (fake paper gold ingots).
Apparently, the feelings of dead relatives are more important than us choking on the toxic smoke and China’s environmental record
@alex44938 have you ever had to do this?
Dude. Please talk to someone.
I’m more than happy to help, although for the record, I’m a terrible choice. But please talk to someone man.
@liftangryordie500, I appreciate that you decided to withdraw your post for a reason, and I respect your right to do that, but nonetheless…
A couple of things:
Do you have a diagnosis since your hospital stay? One that you’re comfortable with? If so, where is your therapist in all of this? Your psychiatrist? Do you trust them? Are you guys working to manage this anxiety and/or mood disorder? Because that’s half your battle.
The other half is the life-you-can’t-bear piece, and I think you need to take a longer view. You’re a hard worker - we’ve all seen that through your training progress. So there is no reason whatsoever that you can’t create exactly the life you want - it’s a matter of when, not if. You keep talking about good schools, but dude, it’s completely immaterial once you’re in the real world. Next year you begin making your own decisions. Hold tight. You’re almost there.
Your vaccinations - can you protest this? I suspect so. Call your primary care office or Child Protective Services or Legal Aid and ask about it.
Are you rural? Is there no McDonald’s that you can access for work? Not sure why you have to be 18 to work. I live in the absolute nowhere, and we have jobs for teens - especially the ones who can fill shifts during the day.
Lastly, let me disclaim that if you feel suicidal you should reach out to someone with an actual voice, someone with whom you’re having a real conversation. Call a crisis line or hotline and TALK to someone. I think people have left contact info here for you. The forums are not responsive or fast-moving enough for this conversation.
Call Child Protective Services and tell them that you’re being medically neglected and would like assistance accessing help.
You and your gf seem to break up and get back together pretty regularly - my guess is that it hasn’t finished playing out yet. You have no reason to assume that she’s cheating.
You should call the crisis line or a suicide hotline. Talk to someone, so that you can have a real-time exchange.
Ah. Well, then, plenty of fish in the sea!
Call a real person. Please. This is not the medium for this conversation.
Yes, the crisis line that takes a half hour to pick up. You can spare the time.
You ok dude? What’s going on
Btw I hate pickles. They’re so disgusting. Ugh thinking about them wants to make me puke. Especially when fast food joints mess up your burger and it has pickles on it. That nasty sour pickle juice just soaked into the bun and ruined the taste of the burger
I am in no way qualified to offer you advice on any of this stuff, but I sincerely hope you get the help you need and recover soon man.
I don’t know what you’re going through, but it sounds serious and I hope you’re okay
Pickles are amazing. Assuming by burger joint, you don’t mean McDonald’s or some other place that gives sad, limp pickles
