[quote]eddiealfano wrote:
If the doctor doesn’t say, “You could have died if you waited one more day”, well then you went to the doctor too soon.[/quote]
I got bit by a black widow last summer. Went from “I’ve got an itchy spot” to 103 fever in a couple hours. Took some aspirin, went to sleep, fever broke, no worries. Except the itchy spot. I kept thinking “If I don’t have a fever that means I’ve fought it off, should go away any day now.” Fast forward 4-5 days, leg is swollen from my groin to my calf, girlfriend finally drags me to urgent care. They don’t even “treat” me, lady just looks at my leg from across the admission desk and refers me to an on call surgeon at a regional hospital.
Doctor (older guy) says “You got bit by a black widow and waited almost a week to come in? You’re either the toughest son of a bitch in town or the dumbest.” (And I’m not the toughest). Told me if I’d came in a few days earlier oral antibiotics would’ve been fine, but if I’d came in another day or two later I might’ve lost my leg. But it’s a funny story now… I think.
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Which reminds me of the drop dead nurse practitioner that gave me a physical the other day (one I did not even remotely want to have but was required) and asked me if wanted her to show me how to check for a inguinal (pelvic/scrotal) hernia…[/quote]
That’s a pretty random way to come on to a fella…[/quote]
Oh, she was cute…and oh so friendly. Her name was Amy. She smiled and laughed a lot…and made me dance. I kid ye not.[/quote]
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Which reminds me of the drop dead nurse practitioner that gave me a physical the other day (one I did not even remotely want to have but was required) and asked me if wanted her to show me how to check for a inguinal (pelvic/scrotal) hernia…[/quote]
That’s a pretty random way to come on to a fella…[/quote]
Oh, she was cute…and oh so friendly. Her name was Amy. She smiled and laughed a lot…and made me dance. I kid ye not.[/quote]
you live a magical life, sensei Pushmaster~
(prostrates in front of my leader)
I am not worthy~
[/quote]
I first read that as “prostate in front on my leader,”
[quote]pushharder wrote:
Which reminds me of the drop dead nurse practitioner that gave me a physical the other day (one I did not even remotely want to have but was required) and asked me if wanted her to show me how to check for a inguinal (pelvic/scrotal) hernia…[/quote]
That’s a pretty random way to come on to a fella…[/quote]
Oh, she was cute…and oh so friendly. Her name was Amy. She smiled and laughed a lot…and made me dance. I kid ye not.[/quote]
you live a magical life, sensei Pushmaster~
(prostrates in front of my leader)
I am not worthy~
[/quote]
I first read that as “prostate in front on my leader,”
I was like, “well that escalated quickly…”[/quote]
Yep. I told him to warn me before he did anything so I could brace myself, I flipped out when he started “cutting” it open. Turns out he was just swabbing it with a q-tip dipped in antiseptic. Felt like a knife. I’ve had broken bones, 3rd degree burns, nothing compared to this.
So yeah, maybe next time I’ll go to the damn doctor sooner lol
Yep. I told him to warn me before he did anything so I could brace myself, I flipped out when he started “cutting” it open. Turns out he was just swapping it with a q-tip dipped in antiseptic. Felt like a knife. I’ve had broken bones, 3rd degree burns, nothing compared to this.
So yeah, maybe next time I’ll go to the damn doctor sooner lol[/quote]
I heard a woman recount her Black Widow incident on NPR a few years ago. It was early Spring, she said she went and put on hut gardening shoes which she left on her storm porch all winter. She felt a prick on her toe, pulled her foot out and a crumpled Black Widow tumbled out of the shoe.
She went to the hospital and they said sorry, we’ve only got one dose of anti-venom and we have to save it in case a child gets bit. “Your a healthy woman, you should come out of it okay”. She then went on to describe the shear misery she went through for the next week.
Most recent video is an(other) awesome one. Loved the part where you’re putting Vicks on your feet (I thought that was only something us parents did on their kids).
Yeah, I never actually did the Vick’s on my feet thing. But someone told me about that, and I just had to use it in this video! We used to just rub Vicks on our chests and close to our nose. I’m pretty sure that’s the only “medicine” my dad has ever taken to this day. I think he was sick once in his life, and he’s 77 now. He swore by Vicks, and then bundling up to “sweat out” a cold. This is how men should handle things.
[quote]eddiealfano wrote:
Yeah, I never actually did the Vick’s on my feet thing. But someone told me about that, and I just had to use it in this video! We used to just rub Vicks on our chests and close to our nose. I’m pretty sure that’s the only “medicine” my dad has ever taken to this day. I think he was sick once in his life, and he’s 77 now. He swore by Vicks, and then bundling up to “sweat out” a cold. This is how men should handle things.[/quote]
I know, I should have just rubbed Vick’s on my stomach and asshole while I was internally bleeding to the point of passing out and cracking my head on a bath tub. I should have been swallowing Vick’s cure my extreme Ulcerative Colitis.
I knew Vick’s would have helped when I had a double stroke on the left part of my brain, just rub it on my head (and my right arm to recover the strength and feeling that I lost). Or, instead of curing my UC by cutting out my colon, I just swallowed a few tubs of Vick’s and shot an enema of Vick’s up my ass.
[quote]eddiealfano wrote:
I think you’re missing the jokes here.[/quote]
You missed my jokes. I should have used emoticons, but I am sitting in my hospital toilet/bathroom with my Samsung Galaxy SIII. If only the nurses wouldn’t get pissed at me if I brought my bed table into the bathroom.
