I think what Stella and spiderman are saying to me is that I should “submerge” myself in Korean culture by learning tae-kwon-do so I can defend myself if the situation is ever to present itself.
Or just carry a big-ass baseball bat at all times.
Spiderman,
I’ve never seen that happen (men attacking foreigners for dating Korean women) although perhaps they resent the situation.
Personally I find many Korean men to be too traditional and old fashioned in that they want women to marry early, stay home and stuff like that. I’m not a very traditional Korean gal, so I don’t like guys like that.
Very traditional Korean parents are more likely to say no to foreigners dating/marrying their daughter. If you’re a very successful white dude, maybe you have a slightly better chance although doubtful, depending on how open-minded her parents are. My parents finally accepted that I may NOT date/marry a Korean guy although they really wish that I do. My traditional relatives gave me a list of ethnic groups in the order of “acceptability” (is that even a word?) and the list was rather funny although my relatives were very serious about the list.
Well Dish out the list Stella! I’m curious as to which ethnicities were ranked…
Char, Your right I can read more than a few hundred kanji, though alot of my job was/to write Japanese (catch phrases for CD liner notes and jackets, that kind of thing). But have a longway to go!
Korean friends of mine have related that in “general” Korean men may be more old fashioned.
A good friend of mine had some serious problems with his Japanese wife’s parents. Though it must be said they were a rich landowners (silk and rice fields i think) and wanted a Jpn guy to take over the family empire someday.
Was a very hard situation and they divorced after 5 years.
My wife’s parents on the other hand couldn’t be more wonderful & have encouraged her to move to the US to pursue her career.
As with everywhere it depends on the person.
I have heard though that Korea is a tougher place for foreigners to live than Japan (being refused phone service, banking etc… without a sponsor)
Any of you study calligraphy (shoodo)?
I found that a great way to gain some deeper insight into Japanese culture, and make great friends. My teacher was an amazing person (recently passed away)
WWII pilot, martial arts teacher, tea ceremony, pottery maker, poet, master calligrapher.
2 hours of concentrated practice followedby tea was my meditation. Talk about getting into a zone!
My friend has dated numerous Korean girls at our school and the girls that he has dated (and their friends) hate him more than the Korean guys hate him (the guys don’t hate him).
Okay, I think we need to clarify something here. Talking about Ameicans who are second-, third-, fourth-generation Korean or Japanese or whatever is completely different from talking about people who were born in Asia and emigrated to America, and that’s completely different from Asians who live in Asia. What I’m talking about on this thread is Japan, not Japanese-Americans or any other ethnic group that lives in America. So let’s not confuse things by talking about people who dated ethnic Americans and so on.
Anyway. I don’t know much at all about Korea, so I’m not going to comment on it. Stella knows much more than I ever will, and if you want another viewpoint you should PM Hyok, as he can contribute. I do know that the Koreans here in Japan are discriminated against pretty heavily, and therefore tend to stick to their own. Not always, but mostly. You also find a lot of Korean words used in the criminal argot, which is a function of a lot of Korean-descent Japanese being involved in the gangs here. This isn’t a slur on them at all; I think it’s a natural reaction when you get shunted out of business deals and so on just because of who your grandparents were.
char, dude, I’m not talking about Asian-Americans either. The kids I’m talking about are 100% Korean, who are as we speak, back home in Korea.
I dunno where you got that notion from, because I don’t think that I was talking as if they were Asian-Americans.
chris,
If you’re talking about people back in Korea, it’ll be ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE to get anywhere w/ the parents and relatives unless you do everything right. I know a girl who’s a friend of a friend who married a white guy, and she was 100% native Korean (born and grew up/educated in Korea), but her parents did allow her to marry the white guy cuz he did everthing right. They’re living very happily in US currently.
Hmmm, guess I better get my skinny ass good at making kimch’i.
Just outta curiosity, how fluent are you in Korean? (May sound like a dumb question, I know. But all I know is you’re Korean)
Chrismcl: Are you living in Korea at the moment?
Kuri: Yes, I took shodo (calligraphy) lessons for about two years when I first came to Japan. It was a cool thing to do, and certainly does teach you some things about concentration. Lately I haven’t really had the time to keep up with it (and as a result my handwriting is worse than it was several years back), but I’d like to take it up again sometime.
Btw: Is you name “Chris” by any chance? I ask because of the “kuri” handle - my first name is Chris and the ateji for it are “kuri” and “su” (hissu no su).
chrismcl: Definitely knowing the language would help a lot because aside from the race/culture issue, it’s mainly about communication.
As you may know, traditional Asians (I’m Chinese, but I assume Koreans are like this as well) are very family-oriented and one of the major fears that parents have is that they won’t be able to communicate with their grandchildren.
As for Asian males (again I’m generalizing here), our greatest suspicion when a non-Asian dude dates an Asian girl is similar to that Seinfeld episode where Jerry believes his dentist converted to Judaism just to make Jewish jokes… e.g. “I made a joke about Asians, but I’m not a racist because my girlfriend is Asian.”
So basically if you learn the culture, study the language, and generally try to adapt or at least accept the other culture then the people become less worried that your just there to play around.
char, no, I’m in the US right now. However, my school is in Canada and its about 60% international students (i.e. Chinese, Korean, Japanese, Mexican, Thai, German, American, etc).
Interesting reply Remy.
I’ve found too that Japanese tend to open up more if they see a foreigner is seriously interested in learning the language & understand the culture.
Well, older generations do. Don’t think those under 30 could give a rip.
I too am out of practice with my calligraphy. I really admire those who can write smoothly. Seemed the more I practiced the better I realized how bad I am! Ah, as with lifting.
Really an enjoyable way to learn the chinese character though. MUCH more fun that just scribbling them in some kanji book over & over.
Anyone serious about learning the language should look into calligrahpy at some point (called shuji or shodoo).
Char, Spidey or others, whats your take on young Japanese under 30 , or even high school students as far as conflicts with older generations, place in society, changes etc…?
Living in Japan off & on over 10 years I’ve seen some fairly big changes (confirmed by Japanese friends) in attitudes and outlook on Japanese culture & interest in foreign cultures.
Chris,
Well if you can make a few popular Korean dishes then you’ll score some bonus points. I’d highly recommend learning to make spicy stir-fried rice cakes. It’s called “Tthuk-bok-ee”
BTW - I’m fluent in spoken and written Korean. Actually I should say that I can speak and read very well, but I don’t write that well.
chrismcl: Well, that’s where I got the idea. 
I guess I should have added that I was talking about natives in their native land. If you go on a homestay, or to study, the behavior pattterns change dramatically.
Kuri: Yes, the attitudes have changed quite a bit in the last ten years. Ten years ago, it was difficult to find a foreigner with decent spoken Japanese; now they’re fairly common. Ten years ago, I’d get the “Gaijin da!” (“Hey, it’s a foreigner!”) from people a couple of times a month; now it’s only the tour groups who come in from the boonies who comment. (And if it’s someone other than a very young child, I make sure to say “Waa, kappei da!” [“Man, what a rube!”] back, which is always good for a laugh. It must be tough to get shown up by a foreigner in one’s native language… 
)
Ten years ago I was also the tallest guy in the shopping arcade when I walked down it; now there are always several people who are taller. So that’s changing as well.
Thats a good comeback Char.
Oh I’ve gotten lots of “gaijin da!” with accompanying finger pointing while traveling around up north, and I usually respond with “chigau yo, uchuujin desu” (no, I’m an alien).
Or just smile and say hi if they look like simple folk.
How about the stares when out biking or running without a shirt? (its usually 95 degrees and 99% humidity in the summer for those that don’t know)
last time I did that heard a couple teens say “wow, those Americans do crazy things”.
But from my experience the college age and younger generation have absolutely NO interest in anything besides their cell phones & Japanese pop culture. mmm, kinda like the US in that respect. Guess globalisation IS real!
The height thing.
Man, I’ve seen some high school girls who have to be 5’10" or so. And with their space sneakers on they are damn near as tall as I am! All those big macs & KFC with the hormones are reeking havoc.
Lots of big changes both phyisically and socially.
I work in a high school which has the best rugby team in the prefecture and some of these kids are big. One boy, his nickname is Jumbo, is about 225lb and about 5ft11. Thats pretty big for an 18 year old!!!
I have found young people to be much more interested in foreign culture and travel in general than older generations. My girlfriend for example has back packed around the U.S, Mexico and India. She has lived in Canada for 6 months also. There are a ot of young people that wish to broaden their horizons and learn more about the outside world.
4 years ago when I arrived I used to get a lot of stares in elevators but now nobody bats an eyelid.