I used to think that if I ate the seeds in fruit, plants would grow inside me and eventually sprout out of my ears!
[quote]chinadoll wrote:
Yorbabarbell wrote:
Chinadoll hon-that explosing between your legs really got me to reply-is there any way you can feel a mere mortal if he or she is trying to work their mojo there? Are there any scars on your body from all of the mayhem? I have about as many or more stories than you-but baby you have been T-mag since birth-as always you rock!
Hey Yorba!!!
Hehehe…no, no scars. Never even had a (documented) broken bone. Only scars are from martial arts, in the “olden” days, we had to punch and kick the canvas bag thousands of times a day, which opened up our skin, but it was a mind over matter issue. Just some barely visible scars on my knuckles and tops of my feet.
Yo~ why don’t you post some of yours???
More stupid things we did:
One day after seeing a TV movie about people stranded out at sea who survived by catching rain in containers and catching fish, I put a wooden bowl out in the rain. I drank the water that was caught in the bowl, some of which dripped off of our roof, and ended up with bad stomach cramps.
When we were really little, I remember asking my older brother what that was, and he explained to me that it was “my pee-pee, I make shee shee from my pee pee. Only boys have pee-pee’s. You don’t have a pee-pee because you’re a girl, and girls have just a butt.” One time later, we were fighting and I called him “stupid”, and to get revenge he taunted me, “Butt pee-er, butt pee-er!”
[/quote]
How cute is that! My twins-to be 2 next month-are really discovering their bodies-and we have decided to teach them the correct terms for their parts-so my boy twin pointed at his sister in the bath not to long ago and annouced she has a “agina-penis”…which thank gwad she doesn’t!
SO man storiesI could tell you-hmmm-I got a scar related one-when I was in HS-I played football and was your typical jock/meathead-no surprise there huh. Anyways before our senior season we all pitched in and bought a 76 volare station wagon to cruise around in-we painted it the tea color-purple-and all wrote our numbers on it in white-it had raggedy broken roof racks…after FB season ended our shcools b-ball team made the playoffs-so the FB meatheads would go watch-all pile in the volare-drunk as hell and head off to some far away suburb in Massachusetts…anyways we used to take turns surfing the roof after we were drunk while the car was moving-all to the glee of the car-load full of girls who would be following us from our HS-well I took my turn and decided to moon them-well one big pothole later I got thrown onto one of the broken roofracks and I needed 30 stiches in my ass cheek-I almost got it gimp style ala pulp fiction. Now i went and got sewed up at the clinic-not telling mom and dad-and i could’t sit for almost two weeks which i hid from them-as best I could. Now one of my butts ha a nice scar my wife likes to call me scarface when she is pissed at me and says I have my head up my ass…
I was talking with my wife about your post last night and we have your explosion story is more radical than a brazilian wax-we have named it the polynesian powderkeg!
Take care gorgeous-as always a pleasure to exchange.
[quote]Brenzo wrote:
I used to think that things back in the 50’s and 60’s really were black and white.
[/quote]
I was guilty of this one too. I would look through old pictures at my grandparents house and be so confused.
I took the telephone apart once and stuffed it with baby powder, thinking it would be funny when it puffed out into the ear of the person on the receiving end.
Dogs mate with cats (all dogs are male and all cats are female).
The Queen of of England is married to Jesus (He’s the King).
I jumped off a couch with an umbrella thinking I could fly like Mary Poppins and ended up getting knocked out.
My dad had a chess set made out of marble so my friends and I thought that if we smashed them, they would explode like ninja smoke bombs and the knights and castles and stuff would become real.
We had just moved back from Holland and I found a huge box of Playboy magazines in the basement. So I took a bunch and created a fort out of empty cardboard boxes and hid the magazines in there. Then I covered them in baby powder which I thought made them invisible. My mom found them.
I literally thought money grew on trees. I asked my mom for something and she said we didn’t have the money for it and we’d have to go to the bank. I said why go to the bank, we have a bunch of trees in our yard.
[quote]highersights wrote:
Dogs mate with cats (all dogs are male and all cats are female).[/quote]
You were one wise kid.
This thread is great. I laughed out loud thinking about Jesus as the king of England.
When I was young I drew up plans for a space shuttle. It was shaped just like a jet but the back third was filled with coal. I figured you drop a match on that much coal and it will go up like the flames that come out of the space shuttle, since of course the flames are what propel it, and coal just bursts into flame.
I also figured that Santa Claus with his ability to defy the laws of physics in some areas could defy them in all. So one christmas I asked for an invisibility ray, and a van I could drive around in which was scaled down for a 3rd grader.
As far as getting busted with playboys, when I was in fourth grade I took a bunch of pictures from National Geographic and the Sears catalogue bra and panty section and glued them to notebook paper which I stapled together for a “playboy.” I brought it to school and showed it to all my friends until the teacher found me with it.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
highersights wrote:
Dogs mate with cats (all dogs are male and all cats are female).
You were one wise kid.[/quote]
Yes, why does the dog chase the cat?
[quote]Elkhntr1 wrote:
Professor X wrote:
highersights wrote:
Dogs mate with cats (all dogs are male and all cats are female).
You were one wise kid.
Yes, why does the dog chase the cat?[/quote]
'Cause she’s a brick…house.
The first time I jacked off I thought for sure I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease (they were showing the stupid videos in school). The bad part is my mom was a nurse. So I asked her about it.
[quote]Professor X wrote:
lostinthought wrote:
I used to believe that the government put camera’s in all TV sets
That’s takes all of the fun out of watching porn.[/quote]
Or makes it even more fun depending on what you’re into…
[quote]highersights wrote:
The first time I jacked off I thought for sure I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease (they were showing the stupid videos in school). The bad part is my mom was a nurse. So I asked her about it.[/quote]
You did not.
OH MY GOD.
[quote]highersights wrote:
The first time I jacked off I thought for sure I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease (they were showing the stupid videos in school). The bad part is my mom was a nurse. So I asked her about it.[/quote]
This reminds me that the first time I smoked pot it was with a bunch of older far more experienced pot smokers who made me clear a three foot bong. My spine immediately went numb and my mind started racing and thinking very strange thoughts. I laid down on a waterbed with blacklights going and pink floyd blaring (basicly freaking out) and said “Well, this is why they tell you don’t do drugs, I think I have permanent brain damage.”
I used to think that if I had a picture of a woman from a magazine and rubbed an eraser over her clothes, she’d be naked. Didn’t work.
[quote]highersights wrote:
The first time I jacked off I thought for sure I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease (they were showing the stupid videos in school). The bad part is my mom was a nurse. So I asked her about it.
[/quote]
How’d that work out for you?
[quote]nephorm wrote:
highersights wrote:
The first time I jacked off I thought for sure I had contracted a sexually transmitted disease (they were showing the stupid videos in school). The bad part is my mom was a nurse. So I asked her about it.
How’d that work out for you?[/quote]
Pretty good, I guess. She said it happens when you think of girls ‘on the other side’. And then she walked away with a red face.
I should mention that I was worried because it hurt so bad. I had soaped up the bathtub after draining the water and, well, you can figure it out. I was like 11 years old.
[quote]shorty_blitz wrote:
Yea and also I used to tell other kids “My shoes are faster than yours” and yea I really did beleive that it was the shoes that made you run fast![/quote]
In the mid 60’s they called those shoe (red ball jets)
The shoes that would make you run faster and jump higher
This is way too cute!
[quote]minilifter wrote:
As far as getting busted with playboys, when I was in fourth grade I took a bunch of pictures from National Geographic and the Sears catalogue bra and panty section and glued them to notebook paper which I stapled together for a “playboy.” I brought it to school and showed it to all my friends until the teacher found me with it. [/quote]
“The Polynesian Powderkeg”…That’ll be my Strongwoman Competition stage name! Thank-you Yorba, you really are the man!!!
[quote]Yorbabarbell wrote:
I was talking with my wife about your post last night and we have your explosion story is more radical than a brazilian wax-we have named it the polynesian powderkeg!
Take care gorgeous-as always a pleasure to exchange.[/quote]
when I was real little I used to call people “fuckerds”
also, I use to think everyone with big arms was really strong… well, one day at the grocery store with my mom there was this really fat lady there with what were apparently REALLY big arms, and I found it necessary to scream out “HEY MOM! look at HER ARMS, she must be REALLY STRONG!”
that was back when I was 4, and my mom still reminds me about it all the time!