Stuff White People Like

[quote]Xen Nova wrote:

I’m ok with it as long as its truly done as a joke, and its mutual.

But hey, slavery is one helluva 300yr punchline… so don’t get offended if you have a few comedians poke at you.[/quote]

I think that argument is weak - and its raised all the time. We don’t live in those times and no one alive today does either. We live in a time where we are truly equal or, the goal is to preserve that ideal. Racism in either direction, from white to black or reverse, just perpetuates those attitudes. And by the way, the US was not the only country to have slaves and most of the slaves in this country were sold to us by their own people. So I suggest they inject some native African humor into thier routines too following the slavery punch line logic.

[quote]40&Big wrote:
kevinm1 wrote:
40&Big wrote:
Wearing the bluetooth everywhere, even in church.

Instead of referring to a headset by it’s name or as a headset calling it bluetooth

  1. I don’t have one. 2) If it is a bluetooth call it a bluetooth. Headset conjures an image of what the frycook at McDonalds is wearing.

[/quote]

Ah but Bluetooth is the technology, other things can have bluetooth within them computers, cars, and printers to call a headset bluetooth denotes ignorance and laziness in my opinion

[quote]FightingScott wrote:

Among my favorites:

(8) Barak Obama
(11) Asian Girls
(40) Apple Products
(83) Bad Memories of High School

I feel so predictable.[/quote]

I saw this previously - some were good, but I think it’s pretty obvious it was written by Asian guys in Seattle or Portland who were very annoyed their sisters were dating white guys…

[quote]beebuddy wrote:
I think I can identify many of the white people on this forum based on rule #99. A thread isn’t complete without someone berating someone else for writing “your an idiot.”[/quote]

Yeah, I’m white, so here:

These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally. Often, we’re in a hurry, quickly dashing off e-mails with typos, grammatical shortcuts (I’m being kind here), and that breezy, e.e. cummings, no-caps look. It’s expected. It’s no big deal. But other times, we try to invest a little care, avoiding mistakes so that there’s no confusion about what we’re saying and so that we look professional and reasonably bright.

In general, we can slip up in a verbal conversation and get away with it. A colleague may be thinking, Did she just say “irregardless”?, but the words flow on, and our worst transgressions are carried away and with luck, forgotten.

That’s not the case with written communications. When we commit a grammatical crime in e-mails, discussion posts, reports, memos, and other professional documents, there’s no going back. We’ve just officially gone on record as being careless or clueless. And here’s the worst thing. It’s not necessary to be an editor or a language whiz or a spelling bee triathlete to spot such mistakes. They have a way of doing a little wiggle dance on the screen and then reaching out to grab the reader by the throat.

So here we are in the era of Word’s red-underline “wrong spelling, dumb ass” feature and Outlook’s Always Check Spelling Before Sending option, and still the mistakes proliferate. Catching typos is easy (although not everyone does it). It’s the other stuff – correctly spelled but incorrectly wielded – that sneaks through and makes us look stupid. Here’s a quick review of some of the big ones.

#1: Loose for lose

No: I always loose the product key.

Yes: I always lose the product key.

#2: It’s for its (or god forbid, its’)

No: Download the HTA, along with it’s readme file.

Yes: Download the HTA, along with its readme file.

No: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.

Yes: The laptop is overheating and it’s making that funny noise again.

#3: They’re for their for there

No: The managers are in they’re weekly planning meeting.

Yes: The managers are in their weekly planning meeting.

No: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.

Yes: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they’re not happy about it.

#4: i.e. for e.g.

No: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).

Yes: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).

Note: The term i.e. means “that is”; e.g. means “for example.” And a comma follows both of them.

#5: Effect for affect

No: The outage shouldn’t effect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t have any effect on users.

Yes: We will effect several changes during the downtime.

Note: Impact is not a verb. Purists, at least, beg you to use affect instead:

No: The outage shouldn’t impact any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage should have no impact on users during work hours.

#6: You’re for your

No: Remember to defrag you’re machine on a regular basis.

Yes: Remember to defrag your machine on a regular basis.

No: Your right about the changes.

Yes: You’re right about the changes.

#7: Different than for different from

No: This setup is different than the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is different from the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is better than the one at the main office.

#8 Lay for lie

No: I got dizzy and had to lay down.

Yes: I got dizzy and had to lie down.

Yes: Just lay those books over there.

#9: Then for than

No: The accounting department had more problems then we did.

Yes: The accounting department had more problems than we did.

Note: Here’s a sub-peeve. When a sentence construction begins with If, you don’t need a then. Then is implicit, so it’s superfluous and wordy:

No: If you can’t get Windows to boot, then you’ll need to call Ted.

Yes: If you can’t get Windows to boot, you’ll need to call Ted.

#10: Could of, would of for could have, would have

No: I could of installed that app by mistake.

Yes: I could have installed that app by mistake.

No: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Yes: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Bonus peeve

I’ll just throw one more thing out here: My current burning pet peeve. At some point, who knows when, it became common practice to say that something is “hit and miss.” Nuh-UH. It can’t be both, right? It either hits or it misses… “Hit OR miss.” Granted, it’s a small thing, a Boolean-obsessive sort of thing. But it’s nonetheless vexing because it’s so illogical.

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
dollarbill44 wrote:
TheBodyGuard wrote:
FightingScott wrote:
Chewie wrote:

Yeah, but I’m sure if someone made a list entitled “What Black People Like”, it would not be taken lightly. Moreover, I absolutely hate the way it is OK for everyone to make fun of white people and it is in bad taste to make fun of anyone else.

Since the internet is a pretty anonymous way to communicate, I think “What Black People Like” probably would have been tolerated.
This “Stuff White People Like” doesn’t attack white people for bad things other people who happen to be white have done.

Sure, a “Stuff Black People Like” wouldn’t be taken well if the list had Crack, Welfare, and other bad stereotypes but it probably would have been accepted if the list contained things like “The Jeffersons” and “Baggy Jeans.”

You could have also put up a “Stuff White People Like” list that included serial killers, Christian fanaticism, and other bad stereotypes about whites.

But even if the “Stuff Black People Like” was done in the most racist way possible or done in a somewhat tasteful way, it still wouldn’t be as funny as “Stuff White People Like” no matter what your views are. The “Stuff White People Like” is new and kind of refreshing. I’m tired of people making fun of black, asian, and latino stereotypes because the joke is old. But making fun of how predictable white people are is a new, funny joke. Think about it: all the people you know who own “Performance Outdoor Aparrel” who only step outside to get in their car. (They’re white)

Nonsense, black comedians have been doing this for years. It’s old too.

I was thinking the same thing. Eddie Murphy was making fun of white people back in the early 80s.

DB

Actually, Richard Pryor before him, Red Foxx, Rudy Ray Moore, etc. It’s always been “open humor season” on white people and that’s ok, as long as it works both ways…but we both know it does not because of the likes of Al Sharpton and his cronies. I remember when that fool used to sport a jerry curl and track suits and now he tries to be all dignified.

[/quote]

Dude, you obviously haven’t heard much Pryor, Foxx, Moore, or more recently Chris Rock. Do they crack on White folk? Yes. But they crack on black folks worse, much worse. It’s very funny.

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally…[/quote]

LOL, do you just save that, BB, and paste it whenever appropriate? I think that’s the third time I’ve seen it.

My parents will be surprised to learn that im 1/2 white… at least…

Here’s my list…

* #95 Rugby
* #93 Music Piracy
* #92 Book Deals
* #91 San Francisco
* #90 Dinner Parties
* #88 Having Gay Friends
* #87 Outdoor Performance Clothes
* #85 The Wire
* #83 Bad Memories of High School
* #82 Hating Corporations
* #81 Graduate School
* #80 The Idea of Soccer
* #79 Modern Furniture
* #78 Multilingual Children
* #77 Musical Comedy
* #76 Bottles of Water
* #75 Threatening to Move to Canada
* #74 Oscar Parties
* #73 Gentrification
* #72 Study Abroad
* #71 Being the only white person around
* #70 Difficult Breakups
* #69 Mos Def
* #68 Michel Gondry
* #66 Divorce
* #64 Recycling
* #63 Expensive Sandwiches
* #62 Knowing What�??s Best for Poor People
* #61 Bicycles
* #60 Toyota Prius
* #59 Natural Medicine
* #58 Japan
* #56 Lawyers
* #55 Apologies
* #54 Kitchen Gadgets
* #53 Dogs
* #51 Living by the Water
* #50 Irony
* #49 Vintage
* #48 Whole Foods and Grocery Co-ops
* #46 The Sunday New York Times
* #45 Asian Fusion Food
* #44 Public Radio
* #43 Plays
* #42 Sushi
* #41 Indie Music
* #40 Apple Products
* #39 Netflix
* #38 Arrested Development
* #37 Renovations
* #36 Breakfast Places
* #35 The Daily Show/Colbert Report
* #34 Architecture
* #31 Snowboarding
* #30 Wrigley Field
* #29 80s Night
* #27 Marathons
* #26 Manhattan (now Brooklyn too!)
* #25 David Sedaris
* #24 Wine
* #23 Microbreweries
* #22 Having Two Last Names
* #21 Writers Workshops
* #20 Being an expert on YOUR culture
* #19 Traveling
* #18 Awareness
* #17 Hating their Parents
* #16 Gifted Children
* #15 Yoga
* #13 Tea
* #12 Non-Profit Organizations
* #11 Asian Girls
* #9 Making you feel bad about not going outside
* #8 Barack Obama
* #7 Diversity
* #6 Organic Food
* #5 Farmer�??s Markets
* #4 Assists
* #3 Film Festivals
* #2 Religions their parents don�??t belong to
* #1 Coffee

Dam…who knew. Now if i could just get the guy in my local grocery store to accept this fact, maybe he’ll stop thinking i’m shoplifting…

[quote]
BostonBarrister wrote:
These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally…

malonetd wrote:
LOL, do you just save that, BB, and paste it whenever appropriate? I think that’s the third time I’ve seen it.[/quote]

It’s the only entry on my T-Nation blog…

Absolutlely classic crack from Dave Chapelle:
“Wayne Brady makes Bryant Gumball look like Malcolm X”.

[quote]emdawgz1 wrote:
Dude, you obviously haven’t heard much Pryor, Foxx, Moore, or more recently Chris Rock. Do they crack on White folk? Yes. But they crack on black folks worse, much worse. It’s very funny.

[/quote]

Dude, that they to some extent crack on blacks is NOT the point. The point is that a double standard DOES exist.

IMUS never gets fired if no such double standard were alive and well. On black radio, racial transgressions far worse than anything IMUS uttered occur daily.

yes

Nascar…and Mullets.

[quote]BostonBarrister wrote:
beebuddy wrote:
I think I can identify many of the white people on this forum based on rule #99. A thread isn’t complete without someone berating someone else for writing “your an idiot.”

Yeah, I’m white, so here:

These days, we tend to communicate via the keyboard as much as we do verbally. Often, we’re in a hurry, quickly dashing off e-mails with typos, grammatical shortcuts (I’m being kind here), and that breezy, e.e. cummings, no-caps look. It’s expected. It’s no big deal. But other times, we try to invest a little care, avoiding mistakes so that there’s no confusion about what we’re saying and so that we look professional and reasonably bright.

In general, we can slip up in a verbal conversation and get away with it. A colleague may be thinking, Did she just say “irregardless”?, but the words flow on, and our worst transgressions are carried away and with luck, forgotten.

That’s not the case with written communications. When we commit a grammatical crime in e-mails, discussion posts, reports, memos, and other professional documents, there’s no going back. We’ve just officially gone on record as being careless or clueless. And here’s the worst thing. It’s not necessary to be an editor or a language whiz or a spelling bee triathlete to spot such mistakes. They have a way of doing a little wiggle dance on the screen and then reaching out to grab the reader by the throat.

So here we are in the era of Word’s red-underline “wrong spelling, dumb ass” feature and Outlook’s Always Check Spelling Before Sending option, and still the mistakes proliferate. Catching typos is easy (although not everyone does it). It’s the other stuff – correctly spelled but incorrectly wielded – that sneaks through and makes us look stupid. Here’s a quick review of some of the big ones.

#1: Loose for lose

No: I always loose the product key.

Yes: I always lose the product key.

#2: It’s for its (or god forbid, its’)

No: Download the HTA, along with it’s readme file.

Yes: Download the HTA, along with its readme file.

No: The laptop is overheating and its making that funny noise again.

Yes: The laptop is overheating and it’s making that funny noise again.

#3: They’re for their for there

No: The managers are in they’re weekly planning meeting.

Yes: The managers are in their weekly planning meeting.

No: The techs have to check there cell phones at the door, and their not happy about it.

Yes: The techs have to check their cell phones at the door, and they’re not happy about it.

#4: i.e. for e.g.

No: Use an anti-spyware program (i.e., Ad-Aware).

Yes: Use an anti-spyware program (e.g., Ad-Aware).

Note: The term i.e. means “that is”; e.g. means “for example.” And a comma follows both of them.

#5: Effect for affect

No: The outage shouldn’t effect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t have any effect on users.

Yes: We will effect several changes during the downtime.

Note: Impact is not a verb. Purists, at least, beg you to use affect instead:

No: The outage shouldn’t impact any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage shouldn’t affect any users during work hours.

Yes: The outage should have no impact on users during work hours.

#6: You’re for your

No: Remember to defrag you’re machine on a regular basis.

Yes: Remember to defrag your machine on a regular basis.

No: Your right about the changes.

Yes: You’re right about the changes.

#7: Different than for different from

No: This setup is different than the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is different from the one at the main office.

Yes: This setup is better than the one at the main office.

#8 Lay for lie

No: I got dizzy and had to lay down.

Yes: I got dizzy and had to lie down.

Yes: Just lay those books over there.

#9: Then for than

No: The accounting department had more problems then we did.

Yes: The accounting department had more problems than we did.

Note: Here’s a sub-peeve. When a sentence construction begins with If, you don’t need a then. Then is implicit, so it’s superfluous and wordy:

No: If you can’t get Windows to boot, then you’ll need to call Ted.

Yes: If you can’t get Windows to boot, you’ll need to call Ted.

#10: Could of, would of for could have, would have

No: I could of installed that app by mistake.

Yes: I could have installed that app by mistake.

No: I would of sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Yes: I would have sent you a meeting notice, but you were out of town.

Bonus peeve

I’ll just throw one more thing out here: My current burning pet peeve. At some point, who knows when, it became common practice to say that something is “hit and miss.” Nuh-UH. It can’t be both, right? It either hits or it misses… “Hit OR miss.” Granted, it’s a small thing, a Boolean-obsessive sort of thing. But it’s nonetheless vexing because it’s so illogical.[/quote]

LOL!
Christ, I actually read this whole post. It sounds a lot like conversations I hear at work ALL the time.

[quote]emdawgz1 wrote:
My parents will be surprised to learn that im 1/2 white… at least…
Here’s my list…

[/quote]

I don’t think anyone would be surprised to learn that you’re white. You look white. And you’re really attractive by the way.

Unless you don’t look like your avatar.
Which would be really inappropriate.

[quote]BluePfaltz wrote:
Is that a Brujah or a Gangrel you got going on for your avatar?[/quote]

It’s John Constantine, from the Vertigo Comic Hellblazer.

But because I know what you’re talking about, I’m going to go attempt to drown myself.

Getting pubes on soap.

Tattoos and piercings.

Yeah, I know… native Africans have done it for centuries. But just like white people do, they steal from blacks (the blues, jazz, rap, etc).

I do like scarves!

Marlboros
Air Shows
Yard Sales
Ford Pickup Trucks
Cowboy Days
Sitting on the floor in school hallways
Prokeds
rolling up their sleeves
saying “cervesas” when in a mexican bar/restaurant
money clips
Polo shirts and cargo shorts
The Utah Jazz
And apparently wash cloths are like kryptonite to them.

Honorable Mention:

“Git R Done” (God damn I hate hearing that shit.)

Oh yeah can’t forget the white guy classic:

HEEEEEEEEEHAWWW!!

Usually heard in square dances, weddings, hoe downs, gang rapes, and funerals.

Coffee
Cheese
Sugar