Strange Text from Old Man

Off Topic
41

Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]

42

Damn Jewbacca, that was beautiful

43

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

Well played.

44

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

A heart-gripping tale of two lovers. I’m touched.

45

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

46

[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

A heart-gripping tale of two lovers. I’m touched.
[/quote]

So was theBird. Literally.

47

[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:

[quote]Jewbacca wrote:
Here, I’ll fix this to say what Bird really meant:

[quote]theBird wrote:
Update:

I sashayed into my usual cafe at 10:30am. I was wearing my usual lace panties and pink polo. I had been thinking lustfully about J all night, wondering if he loved me to? Could our May-December romance work? What would the boys at the my hair salon think? I was thinking it would be safe to enter at that late time of the morning. I walked in and the place looked quiet, but my loins stirred with that oh-so-familiar feeling.

Indeed, as I walked in I saw J sitting at the bar reading a paper. I sat casually as I could on the bar, and flicked my hair back.

If he looked up he would of been looking directly at me from only 4 meters away. I could almost feel his strong grip on my shoulders. Feel the sweat dripping on my back.

I froze, paused, and then after I noticed he hadnt made eye contact with me, I turned and exited, making sure he had clear view of my tight, short shorts. I would not be just one more of his casual flings.

It is all too awkward. I love him, but I don’t know him. Is he closeted? Or can he be free like me?

I cried for hours, then consoled myself at the truck stop, stall no 6.

tweet[/quote]
[/quote]

A heart-gripping tale of two lovers. I’m touched.
[/quote]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaah

48

[quote]theBird wrote:
A bird’s dilemma

Hi friends,

I know this is not SAMA, but I need some urgent advice/help.

So, anyway, as you know, Ive moved to a small country town and I have been living here happily for about a year. When I first moved to town I met a older man(about 60 I think) at the coffee shop. We used to have a friendly chat at the cafe in the mornings. New to town, he thought he would make me feel welcome and invited me over for dinner a few times.

The dinners were harmless… a bite to eat and a glass of red and a friendly chat. I didnt think we had much in common as he is a few years older than me, interested in the church and has very conservative views including been anti-gay. He often chatted about how he missed his ex-wife who died years ago of cancer. Im not religious, a free-thinker and accepting of all types.

Anyway, he had recently lost his mobile phone, so he popped in at work and told me… so I said I would message him my number.
The messages went like this:

bird: Hi J, this is bird and this is my number.
J: Hi bird. Are you bird that I met today?
bird: Yes. Thats me.

I though his message to me was strange, but i thought it might be an old persons joke or that he didnt know/understand phone txt messaging etiquette.

A few hours later he msged me:

J: are you free tonight? Cum over for dinner and spend the night here.

I thought that was strange but I had thought that he had mistaken me for another “bird” who was from out of town and needed a place to stay. I didnt reply as I was off to the gym.

After I returned back from the gym I checked my phone and had a missed call and message from J;

J: Sorry I missed you earlier today. Anyway Im just letting you know I cant get over the size of your cock, lets meet tomorrow.

So… what do I do? Do I tell him its not gay-bird, but the real bird? Do I just ignore the messages and pretend it never happened? There is no way I can avoid this guy, I live in a small town!!!

Cliff notes:

  • bird meets old man at cafe and became friends.
  • old man talks about religion, his deceased wife, and appears to be homophobic. bird and old man stay friends, and often bump into each other in mornings at cafe.
  • old man loses phone, so bird send a txt to old man so he can have bird’s number again
  • old man mistakes bird’s number for someone else and sends homosexual txt to bird.
  • bird not sure what to do in such an awkward situation. I have no problems with homosexuals, although situation is complicated as he appeared to be anti-gay and religious, and we live in a small town.

Please help!

tweet[/quote]

Clarify you are not the gay bird, but in a polite and respectful manner. Also, inform him that you will not tell anyone about it. He is probably going to buy you a car.

49

I was camping with my ex Girlfriend once and had a convo with the old person looking over the site, dude ended up talking about modeling and acting and said he was straight even if he wasn’t its not like I am a homophobe but at least then I would know if he was hitting on me or whatever, claimed was a modeling scout and said a couple of weird comments that seemed kind of questionable… I thought something was off but at least thought he had some connections and was legit about the agency stuff…

anyways turns out basically he had some ghey vibes and would keep trying to convince me to try doing semi nude modeling… a creepy situation and still tries and contact me to this day about “modeling and acting gigs”.

Basically though it was very similar to OPs situation, person seems like just some old folk, shooting shit and then you get some weird vibes, and then the situation or what they are really about becomes obvious

50

[quote]cstratton2 wrote:
I was camping with my ex Girlfriend once and had a convo with the old person looking over the site, dude ended up talking about modeling and acting and said he was straight even if he wasn’t its not like I am a homophobe but at least then I would know if he was hitting on me or whatever, claimed was a modeling scout and said a couple of weird comments that seemed kind of questionable… I thought something was off but at least thought he had some connections and was legit about the agency stuff…

anyways turns out basically he had some ghey vibes and would keep trying to convince me to try doing semi nude modeling… a creepy situation and still tries and contact me to this day about “modeling and acting gigs”.

Basically though it was very similar to OPs situation, person seems like just some old folk, shooting shit and then you get some weird vibes, and then the situation or what they are really about becomes obvious [/quote]

Desperate times calls for desperate measures.

Every hole is a goaaaall!

51

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

Every hole is a gloryhole.[/quote]

This is how I read that sentence at first. I was confused and curious at the same time.

52

So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?

53

[quote]Ripsaw3689 wrote:

[quote]harrypotter wrote:

Every hole is a gloryhole.[/quote]

This is how I read that sentence at first. I was confused and curious at the same time. [/quote]

Been visiting some shady video stores lately?

54

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?[/quote]

“Docking is a verb describing the act of stretching one mans foreskin over another mans penis. It can only be practiced between men if one of them is uncircumcised. This “foreplay” is best mixed with a little lube or pre-come prior to the fun begins.”

For those who were unaware.

55

[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?[/quote]

“Docking is a verb describing the act of stretching one mans foreskin over another mans penis. It can only be practiced between men if one of them is uncircumcised. This “foreplay” is best mixed with a little lube or pre-come prior to the fun begins.”

For those who were unaware. [/quote]

There are people that don’t know what “docking” means? What sort of world do we live in?

56

[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?[/quote]

“Docking is a verb describing the act of stretching one mans foreskin over another mans penis. It can only be practiced between men if one of them is uncircumcised. This “foreplay” is best mixed with a little lube or pre-come prior to the fun begins.”

For those who were unaware. [/quote]

Thank you for ruining my appetite.

57

[quote]niksamaras wrote:

[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?[/quote]

“Docking is a verb describing the act of stretching one mans foreskin over another mans penis. It can only be practiced between men if one of them is uncircumcised. This “foreplay” is best mixed with a little lube or pre-come prior to the fun begins.”

For those who were unaware. [/quote]

Thank you for ruining my appetite.[/quote]

Consequences will never be the same!

58

[quote]DBCooper wrote:

[quote]audiogarden1 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
So have the Bird and the old man docked their penises yet, or what?[/quote]

“Docking is a verb describing the act of stretching one mans foreskin over another mans penis. It can only be practiced between men if one of them is uncircumcised. This “foreplay” is best mixed with a little lube or pre-come prior to the fun begins.”

For those who were unaware. [/quote]

There are people that don’t know what “docking” means? What sort of world do we live in?[/quote]

I dont know anymore brother… i had to ask myself the same…

59

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
There are people that don’t know what “docking” means? What sort of world do we live in?[/quote]

exactly what I was thinking. Lot of folk on this site don’t know how to have a good time

60

[quote]rds63799 wrote:

[quote]DBCooper wrote:
There are people that don’t know what “docking” means? What sort of world do we live in?[/quote]

exactly what I was thinking. Lot of folk on this site don’t know how to have a good time[/quote]

I am going out on a limb here, but in a society where most men are circumcised could there be a foreskin fetish?

…

A quick google search and 2560000 hits later, I guess the answer is a resounding yes.

Who knew !?!