Off the topic, but this thread kind of reminds me of the movie Daddy Daycare.
“Hi, I’m your daddy.”
ericka there is not much advice i can offer except for you just have to continue to be strong and take care of business because he obviously isnt going to.
if he isnt man enough to tell her himself i think you should tell her. after all you are the one that is going to be there for her anyway.
it is very sad and i dont see how anyone with half a heart could do that. rena is a great kid!
Sweet!
It’ll be “My Three Dads” with me, Tony and Ryan!
Well first, I’d seek advice elsewhere.
Really.
All you volunteer dad’s might have your hands full. Not only is she a great kid as P-dog said (he has been her substitute before) but she is also beautiful and a very tall girl. Her dad is 6’5" and I am 5’10". So, she doesn’t look her age at all.
substitute teacher.
thanks for the Clarification p-dog.lmao
Ericka, sorry to hear about the situation. Everyone is giving great advice, so i’ll add a little of my own. When i went into the Navy, i tried to write as many friends and family as possible during boot camp for some support and communication. I only had a few replies, but whenever someone wrote me, it made me feel good to know there was someone out there thinking and missing me. I don’t know the dynamics of you situation with your ex and your family, but if you want to keep him in the loop, maybe try writing him during boot camp. He might be doing this for a lot more reasons than what he has already given you. I know it has made a lot of friends of mine grow up and take responsibilities in their lives, maybe it will work for him. If you are not on bad terms yet, give him some “away” time to see if he wants to be a part of your daughters life. If after a reasonable time he doesn’t, just collect the child support and move on. One thing though, not many people know this, but you can contact his command when he gets stationed somewhere and write his senior officers or even better his commander about your family situation and his lack of communication and they look down upon this type of action and could put some pressure on him. It would be embarrising for him in their eyes, and most commands don’t want people they work with to not have honor… Good luck!
I dont really have to much advice to give but there are two things I would like to say… first thing is that i think once he gets to basic training he will def make every effort to call, and more then likley realize how much he misses his daughter, when I was in basic, most of the people that didnt make it or struggled the most werent the younger ones, it was the older guys who had a family and kids and never realized how hard it would be in a new life like basic training is(dont be to mad if he doesnt call alot, he’ll only get 1-2 6 minute calls a week) I know this doesnt really help much but if hes already going there isnt much u can do to reverse it so u have to try to find any good that might come out of it.
my second thing was, no disrespect…but if he isnt mature enough to do somthing like tell her with you that most people wouldnt think twice to do, I wouldnt be so sure he’ll be mature enough to make it through basic or advanced training, and if nothing else, hes going to get mature real quick, I know I did
~Dave
The military does tend to intstill responsibility and other traits that might have been lacking before. Hopefully that will happen here. One way to nudge it in the right direction is to get in touch with his Commanding Officer (once he’s out of school and at a permanent station) and I’m sure he’ll know what to do from there.
Hopefully this is one of those situations which turns out for the best in the long run. As steelyeyes mentioned, perhaps he will become a more responsible person and a better dad in the long run.
You can’t control the actions of your ex, which I know does’nt help your little girl much, but explain the situation the best you can and continue to be a great mom.
I liked IM’s idea of explaining it as “dads off to keep us safe”. It’s a small white lie, but partially true and for the emotinal wellbeing of your daughter.
As a former Navy Wife of 13 years let me state that contacting his soon to be Commanding Officers should be a last resort…and I mean last. Sure, use it as a threat…but don’t take that step if you don’t have to. COs really detest being a babysitter for grown men. Anytime he/she has to speak to your Ex it will be noted on his Record…which will follow him around for his entire career.
I have high ranking Army friends…just let me know where he is stationed…lots of ways to skin a cat…we gals have to stick together.
I hope he still plans to pay that $450 a month. And not trying to swindle that out of you by going into the army,and I do agree w/ ~x~ on the whole basic thing. He will call you and his daughter as soon as he’s in maybe within the first week. He had a part in making the baby.
Hope all goes well. And I am sure you’ll find someone to help you raise your daughter;)
How old is she by the way?
As long as he’s still is pay child support I don’t have a problem with him going to the army. It’s his life and if thats what he choose to do so be it. And its not your fault that he has to pay $450 a month. By, the way thats peanuts.
In Health,
Silas C.
Silas- she’ll be 7 in April. Thanks again guys!
Touching story Erika, I can’t really think of any good advice that hasn’t been said already. Just wanted to say good luck and I hope it works out in the best possible way - especially for your daughter’s sake.
I don’t have much advice because I’m not responsible or mature. But, look on the bright side. She’ll be with you, the good parent. She needs her father to be around sure, but, she’s not exactly losing the father of the year you know. Plus, perhaps he can get a better career and hopefully provide for her better in the future and in the mean time she won’t have to hop from base to base to base to base. Good Luck.
Ericka,
Don’t worry,Nate Dogg,Ryan and I can handle it.After all, we are T-MEN.
Not only is she a great kid as P-dog said (he has been her substitute before) but she is also beautiful and a very tall girl. Her dad is 6’5" and I am 5’10". So, she doesn’t look her age at all.
In that case, for god’s sake keep her away from Nate Dogg.
They are so vaunerable at that age. I hope all works out for you Ericka.
In Health,
Silas C.
My daughter be raised by T-Men…scarey thought! No really you guys are great and appreciate all the well wishes and great advice. I am defiantely going to do the scrapbook that Iron Maiden suggested and also stock up on stationary, cards and disposable cameras. They have never taken professional pics together so I am going to the set that up before he leaves as well. Maybe it is for the best, only time will tell. This defiantely will make me far more critical of any men I get involved with.
Thanks again!
Ericka