[quote]MikeTheBear wrote:
With some creative thought, anyone can plan their own ceremonies.[/quote]
Yeah, but it’s not what people “expect.” They’re used to the religious ones; you know, where they know when to doze off a little in the pews.
Well, I’m dead, so boat rides, plane rides, who cares? My toilet trip will get me an eventual “burial at sea.”
It’s definitely a time to spend. 
It’s not for meaning, it’s for convenience. Atheism is so much work.
[quote]FightinIrish26 wrote:
pookie wrote:
Next time you find a Gideon in your hotel room, stick on of those on it:
LOL. Nice.
As an agnostic, I still like talking about whether or not God exists. But it seems a thread like that cannot exist without someone quoting the motherfucking scripture as to why I’m going to burn in hell for thinking that way.[/quote]
So far, this thread is holding up better than the last one. Seems most of them do take it seriously. We’ve only had two so far: One guy without a shovel and one with nothing to say.
What’s the logic with quoting Scripture anyway? They know we think the Babble is an old jewish history book with the tale of Jesus tacked on. How is quoting from it supposed to “convert” us?
Hey, if I made up my own religion, I’d be sure to include warnings to unbelievers too.
Well you better come here, 'cause I sure ain’t going to Jersey.
We don’t have Scripture, but we got good, funny quotes:
"Dear Lord, the gods have been good to me. As an offering, I present these milk and cookies. If you wish me to eat them instead, please give me no sign whatsoever.
(…short pause…)
Thy bidding will be done. {(Munch munch munch.)}" - Homer Simpson
by the way, the gimmick for this thread is pret-t-y clever.
[quote]zarathus wrote:
by the way, the gimmick for this thread is pret-t-y clever.[/quote]
Thanks.
It appears that someone has replicated the gimmick on the Christian side.
Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, they say.
Unfortunately, had he given it a bit more thought, he would’ve realized that it doesn’t work going the other way. While they must renounce their faith and eternal soul to post here, we, on the other hand, have nothing to lose.
Ha! I love the smell of sweet revenge in the evening…
This thread makes me feel loved. Thank you for making it.
[quote]pookie wrote:
SkyzykS wrote:
You may never know, though, how many people tried to respond and Poof! vanished into nothingness for their transgression. The view counter was over 500 when I last looked. There could be hundreds of people that have disintegrated because of this.
Well just looking shouldn’t be enough to get smiten. Maybe it happens when they click “Reply.” I wonder if Satan has his lawyers (he must have just about everyone of them) awaiting trying to enforce my “solemnly renounce contract.”
As far as God in the toilet bowl goes- Come on Pookie, you seem familiar with theology. Bad things go down, Good things go up. What confuses me is Farts. They just kind of float around, and don’t go down or up. Are farts like little zones of purgatory or something?
If you’re stuck in the same room, that’s probably a good anal-ogy.
I’m not to clear on stuff like that. I was baptized, but never went after that.
If your avatar’s anything to go by, that was what? Last week?[/quote]
No, I’ve been bulking for the past 33.5 years. It’s working too. When I started, my head was one third of my entire body. Been getting tougher too. I used to cry and shit myself at the drop of a hat. Now it takes a nipple twist and some name calling to get that.
Pookie,
Love the thread.
Here’s my proposal for the secular birth ceremony a la The Lion King. Find a boulder and a monkey. Give the newborn to the monkey and have him climb onto the boulder and hold the baby up in the air. Time this all to happen just at sunrise, so all of the waking animals can bow down to the new baby. Make sure Elton John is playing in the background.
Todd
[quote]toddjacobs13 wrote:
Pookie,
Love the thread.
Here’s my proposal for the secular birth ceremony a la The Lion King. Find a boulder and a monkey. Give the newborn to the monkey and have him climb onto the boulder and hold the baby up in the air. Time this all to happen just at sunrise, so all of the waking animals can bow down to the new baby. Make sure Elton John is playing in the background.
Todd[/quote]
Yeah, thanks. Think I’ll fake it and get another baptism next time. It keeps the grandmas happy.
I’m a bit surprised at how well the thread’s gimmick, er, I mean “Solemn Eternal Contract” is holding up.
Do you think we could begin other threads similarly to discuss evolution, physics and moral issues while keeping the Scripture-Pasters™ out?
Imagine the forum listings:
Renounce God Here - Evolution
Accept Jesus Here - Is Tinky Winky Gay?
Renounce God Here - The Middle East
Renounce God Here - Euthanasia
Accept Jesus Here - Baptism: 2 dunks or 3?
And so on…
[quote]toddjacobs13 wrote:
Pookie,
Love the thread.
Here’s my proposal for the secular birth ceremony a la The Lion King. Find a boulder and a monkey. Give the newborn to the monkey and have him climb onto the boulder and hold the baby up in the air. Time this all to happen just at sunrise, so all of the waking animals can bow down to the new baby. Make sure Elton John is playing in the background.
Todd[/quote]
Ramen!
well, I really have nothing to renounce as far as religion goes. So sure.
[quote]pookie wrote:
Then there’s marriage. You can get a civil marriage, but it’s performed at the court house or at city hall in a little room with neon lighting and beige carpeting. You can play a tape cassette on a boom box for “ambiance.” It definitely lacks something. At least compared to a marriage in a large church or cathedral. The judge reads the relevant passages from whatever regional laws apply. Nothing about the wife owing obedience or anything like that. It’s pretty sucky.
[/quote]
Not necessarily. Buddy of mine got married by a JOP (Justice of the peace) last fall. Had the usual ceremony that a christian wedding would have (tuxedo, white gown, ring bearers, etc.)- but did it outdoors right on the Chicago lakefront. It was great- short and sweet. We then adjourned to a restaurant a few blocks away and had the (very drunken) reception.
Being an Atheist doesn’t mean no fun
I have to admit- although I know this is wrong- I view fundamentalists (be they Muslim or Christian) as less intelligent. I don’t know why I think that. I know it’s a bias I probably shouldn’t have- but it’s almost impossible for me to think otherwise.
[quote]pookie wrote:
Do you think we could begin other threads similarly to discuss evolution, physics and moral issues while keeping the Scripture-Pasters™ out?
[/quote]
I think we can use a little subterfuge–a reconnaissance mission, if you will–and post a “Jesus Christ is not your Savior” thread. Meanwhile, all the bible-bangers will be stumbling over themselves to “prove” it wrong; thus a distraction will occur on the rest of the site and then we can have a real scientific argument/discussion about…anthing scientific.
Frankly, I want to discuss how monkeys turned into man and how the “Big-bang” created everything as we know it…and how to perform abortions with a rusty butterknife, a lemon wedge, and a bottle of Drain-O.
[quote]irishrock wrote:
I have to admit- although I know this is wrong- I view fundamentalists (be they Muslim or Christian) as less intelligent. I don’t know why I think that. I know it’s a bias I probably shouldn’t have- but it’s almost impossible for me to think otherwise.[/quote]
I think there is something to this. It just isn’t true in the absolute sense. You should try being less of a fundamentalist about it. 
Todd
[quote]pookie wrote:
toddjacobs13 wrote:
Do you think we could begin other threads similarly to discuss evolution, physics and moral issues while keeping the Scripture-Pasters™ out?
Imagine the forum listings:
Renounce God Here - Evolution
Accept Jesus Here - Is Tinky Winky Gay?
Renounce God Here - The Middle East
Renounce God Here - Euthanasia
Accept Jesus Here - Baptism: 2 dunks or 3?
And so on…[/quote]
Pookie,
You’re a funny bastard. This had me cracking up.
Todd
[quote]irishrock wrote:
I have to admit- although I know this is wrong- I view fundamentalists (be they Muslim or Christian) as less intelligent. I don’t know why I think that. I know it’s a bias I probably shouldn’t have- but it’s almost impossible for me to think otherwise.[/quote]
Well they certainly act less intelligent. They might be smart as whips, but somehow they choose not to use that intelligence.
For example, you’re made aware of a fact that contradicts the Bible. You decide that the fact is wrong and keep on believing the Bible. This works particularly well for “facts” that are difficult to verify for yourself. It gets worse if you’re part of a group who does the same thing.
Whatever that is, it’s not intelligence.
[quote]LIFTICVSMAXIMVS wrote:
I think we can use a little subterfuge–a reconnaissance mission, if you will–and post a “Jesus Christ is not your Savior” thread. Meanwhile, all the bible-bangers will be stumbling over themselves to “prove” it wrong; thus a distraction will occur on the rest of the site and then we can have a real scientific argument/discussion about…anthing scientific.[/quote]
Well, where shall we start? By the way, Drano is so Old School… use one of those new “Instant Plumber” compressed air kinda product. Stick it up her butt, twist the cap and the baby comes flying right out, bungeeing at the end of the umbilical.
[quote]pookie wrote:
Well, where shall we start? By the way, Drano is so Old School… use one of those new “Instant Plumber” compressed air kinda product. Stick it up her butt, twist the cap and the baby comes flying right out, bungeeing at the end of the umbilical.
[/quote]
As long as its still in the third trimester Drain-O will work.
[quote]pookie wrote:
KJ Bridgewater wrote:
Does this mean you’re renouncing the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
I just checked with him and he said that my punishment will be that my Beer Volcano will only produce warm American beer (AKA piss) and that my stripper factory will put out big, fat, hairy ones.
So I screamed “NOOOOOOO! Not a sasquatch factory! Think of the smell!” He then said he was just pulling my leg, and disappeared in a puff of parmesan.
The Lord really does work in mysterious ways…[/quote]
Pookie,
Keep mocking God, and one day you’ll wake up in Edmonton, then you’ll pray to God to smite you, just to be put out of your misery.
[quote]KJ Bridgewater wrote:
Pookie,
Keep mocking God, and one day you’ll wake up in Edmonton, then you’ll pray to God to smite you, just to be put out of your misery.
[/quote]
As long as it’s not New Jersey.
By the way, did you know that “Edmonton” comes from an old indian word meaning “Even duller than Calgary.”