[quote]groo wrote:
[quote]ephrem wrote:
[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:
[quote]ephrem wrote:
Perhaps the life in a monestary is different in your part of the world, I don’t know. The few active monestaries in the Netherlands require you to withdraw from everyday life and focus on your relationship with god through prayer, silence and solitude.
Your last paragraph apty describes the differences in approach and attitude between western and eastern philosophy. Whereas in the west you’d focus on “doing” without investigating what is doing “the doing”, in the east [or least in buddhism but it’s a general vain in eastern philosophy] the focus lies on the self and how the self is the cause of suffering.
The idea is that you can’t have lasting happiness if that happiness is conditional; when happiness requires an action or prerequisite. Whatever the external means of happiness it can be taken away from you, or it can change and no longer make you happy.
These external causes of happiness are fleeting, fickle and will ultimately cause suffering. One thing makes you happy; one thing changes; you’re no longer happy.
It’s a seesaw that swings back and forth between happy and unhappy with you on either side throwing things on the ends just to feel something.
Eastern philosophy focusses on the pivot in the middle where everything is in rest. Buddhist teachings point the way, but it is you who has to do the work, the hard work to be able to rest in between happiness and the absence of happiness.
When the appearance of both sides have fallen away what is apparent manifests as being.
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There is a ton of wisdom here and if forms the basic attitude I have toward relationships. Some people cling to this idea of “forever” with a mate, girlfriend, wife, etc. And I always say, things change, people change and you cannot control the outcome when it comes to a third person (lover, et als.). There is also much wisdom in your commentary about external sources of happiness, and how fickle life is with it’s “fortune”.
I have a question; how does Eastern thought treat the loss of a family member or loved one? I’m at that point in my life where I am much better separating myself from an outcome, and letting my happiness be subject to the whimsical nature of life’s ebb and flow, but I can’t imagine doing that with the death of a loved one.
I’d appreciate your insights. Thanks.
Sorry for hijack.
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Deep seated attachments like the bond you might have with a loved one or a family member, they are part of you and therefore part of life. Clinging to those attachments results in having a harder time accepting the fact of death.
People die, you will grieve, accept death and move on living. The difference might be that the phases of sorrow, grief and acceptance follow each other in quick succession instead of it being drawn out over a long period of time.
In any case, emotions, feelings, anything that arises as a result of simply being alive, that’s not the problem. Believing that they have intrinsic value beyond the moment, including love, that is when trouble start.
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So are you saying that ephemeral things have no intrinsic value? That is a bold road to be taking eastern philosophy down. Or simply are you saying emotions have no value outside of a particular moment in time also a premise I don’t think you are going to get universal acceptance on.
I also would say that it is going to be very very difficult for someone that has been raised in a western pedagogy to be able to accurately think in a different way. It would require unlearning one’s view of the world.
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A detachment to the “material world” occurred for me in a very personal way when my grandmother died. I can share the story if you’d like. The lesson was life changing, and it had nothing to do with the actual death.