No Kids - Any Regrets?

Off Topic
41

Why have any regrets? You get to enjoy life without carrying the burden of dumber version of yourself. And what’s with this ‘THE END’ shit? You know when ‘THE END’ is? When you fucking die. I doubt that some assortment of four chemicals in a helical chain is really going to do my memory justice. You know what will do me justice?

Perishing in a fiery party yacht explosion while defending my concubines from Somalian pirates - cuz I sail off the coast of Somalia, it’s boring but it’s my life.

Try working in the service industry if you want to see the true difference between couples with and without kids. For that matter, go to Vegas. Per my experience, misery follows the child bearing.

If you want kids, really examine why you want them. Is it your way of attempting to fulfill a failed ambition? Ego? Keeping up with the Jones’? Because you believe that the blood in your veins is absolutely fucking divine and the planet should never be without it?

Truly examine why you want kids. There’s a lot of fuck ups already here because their parents didn’t bother making sense of their nebulous reasoning entitling them to children.

42

[quote]Damici wrote:
Where’s the “rolleyes” signal when you need it?

Seriously, dude, that’s one sweeping and broad statement you just made about something for which it is possible for you to know very, very, very little (the emotional and spiritual depth of another couple’s relationship).

Otep wrote:
It seems to me that in childless couples, there’s a kind of emotional and spiritual depth that seems to be lacking. A kind of superficiality.

[/quote]

43

[quote]lixy wrote:
eric_lacrosse wrote:
It’s a shame that many smart people share the same notion. I guess I’m becoming a skeptic, but the world does seem to be becoming full of morally challenged morons.

And that’s how specimens like dk44 emerge.[/quote]

Correction: Specimens like dk44 emerge when cousins sleep with cousins. (It clearly states I’m from Arkansas ya Donkey)

44

I take offense to the word “selfish”, as it is so pejoratively used here. Whoever said I was somehow obligated to sacrifice ~20 years of my life and money to raise a mini-me who I can indoctrinate with my beliefs and world view? How is it selfish to resist your biological impulse to procreate, to defy your evolution, if you will?

Here’s my philosophy, at the moment. The passing of my genetic information onto another generation of beings serves no purpose. Arguing about their hypothetical significance before they even exist is pointless. Procreating merely continues an endless cycle.

45

[quote]nomorewar wrote:
I will probably get bukkakeed with hate, But I have to chime in on this. I forced the chick I was with to get an abortion after impregnating her. At first, She was going to keep it no matter what, but than I really started knocking
some sense into her. I told her this was going to ruing our lives and that were way to young for this shit. She gave in and got it, I was so relived. I told some people about this and they have not spoken to me since. I think about what the kid would have looked like,sometimes. But I never desire to have another one. I sometimes think I should have put it for adoption, but the chick would have never agreed.
[/quote]

aren’t you 19? ANOTHER kid?

I don’t think I’d mind them when they are babies. But I don’t think I could deal with having a little me as a parent. I do naughty things now, and I don’t think my kid would be any different

46

[quote]FlavaDave wrote:
Damici wrote:
Where’s the “rolleyes” signal when you need it?

Seriously, dude, that’s one sweeping and broad statement you just made about something for which it is possible for you to know very, very, very little (the emotional and spiritual depth of another couple’s relationship).

Otep wrote:
It seems to me that in childless couples, there’s a kind of emotional and spiritual depth that seems to be lacking. A kind of superficiality.

[/quote]

I deserved that.

I’ll admit this observation is based on a very small study sample of, the only member that I got to know well being my next door neighbors while I was growing up. And it’s entirely possible that the superficiality I witnessed (or believed I witnessed) in all cases could have been due to a number of other causes, not limited to the choice to not have kids.

I’ll stand by my statement that I’ve yet to find a parent who didn’t feel their child enriched their lives, though.

47

Thank you. Thank you very much. Perfect. :slight_smile:

[quote]FlavaDave wrote:
Damici wrote:
Where’s the “rolleyes” signal when you need it?

Seriously, dude, that’s one sweeping and broad statement you just made about something for which it is possible for you to know very, very, very little (the emotional and spiritual depth of another couple’s relationship).

Otep wrote:
It seems to me that in childless couples, there’s a kind of emotional and spiritual depth that seems to be lacking. A kind of superficiality.

[/quote]

48

Having kids is a great way to justify doing anything you want now, without any ramifications for anyone else you really care about at any time later. Does it matter if you use shitloads of resources?

Saves you the hassle of college savings accounts, and worrying about your leftover money when you die. If you don’t have kids you can fucking live rich. Raising a male teenager you pay like 600 dollars worth of food per month, pretty much minimum. Put away 6 grand that year, and take it out later to buy a sick paintjob for your car. LOL.

Good thread.

49

[quote]Malevolence wrote:
lixy wrote:

Haven’t you seen Idiocracy? [/quote]

HORRIBLE MOVIE… but a fascinating concept. They should make another version thats a bit more serious. Actually time machine seems similiar

50

The only reason I can think of to have a kid is to hopefully catch him smoking pot when he is a teen, and taking his pot away to secretly smoke. But I have to raise kid for approx. 13-16 years before this happens and I can probably grow a shit ton of weed by then, or just buy some from my neighbor hippy.

Edit: The money my kid bought the pot with will probably be from me so I really won’t reap any benefits from this at all. F-U-C-K-Fuck.

51

Having children is an emotional decision, that’s for sure. There’s not a series of equations that can tell you this. Its all in how someone feels about it.

I will say that watching your kid open a hole in the line for the running back to score a game winning TD rocks! Watching your daughter walk on her hands at gymnastics class rocks!

Watching your middle kid, with no notice, re-assemble a robotic’s program at a regional competition (when the other kids had messed it up) rocks!! Watching each of your two older kids come home with straight A’s rocks! (Daughter is 6 years old, no grades yet.)

52

[quote]abcd1234 wrote:
I take offense to the word “selfish”, as it is so pejoratively used here. Whoever said I was somehow obligated to sacrifice ~20 years of my life and money to raise a mini-me who I can indoctrinate with my beliefs and world view? How is it selfish to resist your biological impulse to procreate, to defy your evolution, if you will?

Here’s my philosophy, at the moment. The passing of my genetic information onto another generation of beings serves no purpose. Arguing about their hypothetical significance before they even exist is pointless. Procreating merely continues an endless cycle. [/quote]

Sorry you got offended. I’m not sorry I used the term “selfish” because most arguments for not having kids centers on the first-person. I also chose the term “selfish” because it was used first by the OP in his theory that the only reason people have kids is selfishness. This is seriously twisted logic, imo, because raising kids is one of the most selfless acts one can undertake. But, then again, people do things for the wrong reasons all the time. There’s no doubt that a lot of misguided people have kids for the wrong reasons. But too many people on this thread have projected this view onto every parent.

I’m sorry you have such a pessimistic view of the world and of humanity. Apparently, you have a lot of company based on a lot of the posts on this thread. To suggest that all parents are trying to raise kids to be just like themselves falls way short of a knowledgable position of this subject. I have 3 kids. Not one of them is the same. And none of them are just like me. I don’t want my kids to be just like me. It’s my job to help them discover their own talents and develop them.

Almost daily, I see firsthand, parents who give of their time and energy to raise kids who are independent thinkers and who have a willingness to give back to the community and help others less fortunate. Many of these kids far outdo their parents when it comes to community service.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Leave the world a better place”? Perhaps you could open your mind a little bit to see that having kids is one of the best ways to accomplish this. If you are a decent person, you can multiply your direct contribution by raising kids who carry on your positive attributes and improve on your shortcomings. Any responsible parent strives for this.

In time, and with more life experience, I think several of you will change your minds. It wouldn’t be the first time.

DB

53

The OP asks if any childless couples had regrets for not having biological kids. No doubt there will be regrets to be childless in your most private thoughts. However, there will be regrets if you do have them, too. The regrets might not come from “the pain in the ass” aspect but from the pain in the heart aspect of experiencing your child’s inheriting of the genetic condition the OP mentions.

Even if there is no known genetic condition, the possibility exists that the child might be less than the perfectly healthy child you imagine for yourself. Yes, it is wonderful to vicariously feel the successes of your child but, with that possibility comes the possibility of the feeling the pain of their incurable illness or failures to exercise good judgment.

Malepatternfitness relates an article about an o-lifter with an autistic child here:

(sorry for the extra long URL… http://www.nytimes.com and search on Melanie Roach)
Watch the video that accompanies it.

To the OP, as if you need it, I applaud your decision to not pass on the genetic condition. Recognize you might have regrets but every path you will take has regrets. At least you can choose the childless set of regrets.

54

[quote]dollarbill44 wrote:
Sorry you got offended. I’m not sorry I used the term “selfish” because most arguments for not having kids centers on the first-person. I also chose the term “selfish” because it was used first by the OP in his theory that the only reason people have kids is selfishness. [/quote]

No, it wasn’t. That was my theory.

Actually, raising or taking care of other people’s kids beats it by a large distance. But that was never my point. It’s not the raising kids that I argued. It’s the conscious decision to have them in an age where contraception is ubiquitous.

Wanna bet how many people would copulate if it wasn’t an instinctive drive? Heck, men beg, lie, steal, slave, rape, get butchered, imprison, build dungeons, and plenty of other things just to get into a girl’s pants. Sex, and ultimately the passing of genetic material onto future generations, is one of the most potent instinct around. You’d think that every member of Testosterone Nation knows that. Of course, once the deed is done, other instincts kick in to ensure you raise the baby. Yes, some people hit the road before the sweat dries up and I’d call them monsters for doing so. But all they’re doing, is answer nature’s call to spread out their genetic material onto as many partners as possible.

Kids are about ego. It’s a way to give one’s self the illusion of eternity, to ensure your name and DNA in carried on and so on. If you leave emotions aside for a second and think with your brains, that’s all there is to it: ego!

I’m not judging you or your loved one here. It’s just an observation. If you think I’m wrong, give me Cartesian arguments, not appeal to sentiments.

My point exactly! You say that because you think that kids who carry your genetic material and are raised by you are bound to be more ethical, productive and beneficial to society than the average human.

Thank you for making my case.

This particular topic is so sensitive, that this is the standard reply. You can’t tackle it logically, so you just dismiss the opponent’s argument by appealing to some shady age/wisdom authority or emotions.

55

[quote]lixy wrote:
dollarbill44 wrote:
Sorry you got offended. I’m not sorry I used the term “selfish” because most arguments for not having kids centers on the first-person. I also chose the term “selfish” because it was used first by the OP in his theory that the only reason people have kids is selfishness.

No, it wasn’t. That was my theory.

This is seriously twisted logic, imo, because raising kids is one of the most selfless acts one can undertake.

Actually, raising or taking care of other people’s kids beats it by a large distance. But that was never my point. It’s not the raising kids that I argued. It’s the conscious decision to have them in an age where contraception is ubiquitous.

Wanna bet how many people would copulate if it wasn’t an instinctive drive? Heck, men beg, lie, steal, slave, rape, get butchered, imprison, build dungeons, and plenty of other things just to get into a girl’s pants.

Sex, and ultimately the passing of genetic material onto future generations, is one of the most potent instinct around. You’d think that every member of Testosterone Nation knows that. Of course, once the deed is done, other instincts kick in to ensure you raise the baby. Yes, some people hit the road before the sweat dries up and I’d call them monsters for doing so.

But all they’re doing, is answer nature’s call to spread out their genetic material onto as many partners as possible.

Kids are about ego. It’s a way to give one’s self the illusion of eternity, to ensure your name and DNA in carried on and so on. If you leave emotions aside for a second and think with your brains, that’s all there is to it: ego!

I’m not judging you or your loved one here. It’s just an observation. If you think I’m wrong, give me Cartesian arguments, not appeal to sentiments.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Leave the world a better place”? Perhaps you could open your mind a little bit to see that having kids is one of the best ways to accomplish this.

My point exactly! You say that because you think that kids who carry your genetic material and are raised by you are bound to be more ethical, productive and beneficial to society than the average human.

If you are a decent person, you can multiply your direct contribution by raising kids who carry on your positive attributes and improve on your shortcomings. Any responsible parent strives for this.

Thank you for making my case.

In time, and with more life experience, I think several of you will change your minds. It wouldn’t be the first time.

This particular topic is so sensitive, that this is the standard reply. You can’t tackle it logically, so you just dismiss the opponent’s argument by appealing to some shady age/wisdom authority or emotions.[/quote]

I can go point by point to counter you, but it’s not worth it because you will continue to broadly paint every human with the brush that painted you. I always enjoy debating with people who twist words and claim that the other person has somehow “made their case”. Carry on alone, I’m done.

DB

56

[quote]lixy wrote:
dollarbill44 wrote:
Sorry you got offended. I’m not sorry I used the term “selfish” because most arguments for not having kids centers on the first-person. I also chose the term “selfish” because it was used first by the OP in his theory that the only reason people have kids is selfishness.

No, it wasn’t. That was my theory.

I will, however, apologize to the OP for my mistake.

DB

57

[quote]lixy wrote:
dollarbill44 wrote:
Sorry you got offended. I’m not sorry I used the term “selfish” because most arguments for not having kids centers on the first-person. I also chose the term “selfish” because it was used first by the OP in his theory that the only reason people have kids is selfishness.

No, it wasn’t. That was my theory.

This is seriously twisted logic, imo, because raising kids is one of the most selfless acts one can undertake.

Actually, raising or taking care of other people’s kids beats it by a large distance. But that was never my point. It’s not the raising kids that I argued. It’s the conscious decision to have them in an age where contraception is ubiquitous.

Wanna bet how many people would copulate if it wasn’t an instinctive drive? Heck, men beg, lie, steal, slave, rape, get butchered, imprison, build dungeons, and plenty of other things just to get into a girl’s pants. Sex, and ultimately the passing of genetic material onto future generations, is one of the most potent instinct around. You’d think that every member of Testosterone Nation knows that. Of course, once the deed is done, other instincts kick in to ensure you raise the baby. Yes, some people hit the road before the sweat dries up and I’d call them monsters for doing so. But all they’re doing, is answer nature’s call to spread out their genetic material onto as many partners as possible.

Kids are about ego. It’s a way to give one’s self the illusion of eternity, to ensure your name and DNA in carried on and so on. If you leave emotions aside for a second and think with your brains, that’s all there is to it: ego!

I’m not judging you or your loved one here. It’s just an observation. If you think I’m wrong, give me Cartesian arguments, not appeal to sentiments.

Have you ever heard the saying, “Leave the world a better place”? Perhaps you could open your mind a little bit to see that having kids is one of the best ways to accomplish this.

My point exactly! You say that because you think that kids who carry your genetic material and are raised by you are bound to be more ethical, productive and beneficial to society than the average human.

If you are a decent person, you can multiply your direct contribution by raising kids who carry on your positive attributes and improve on your shortcomings. Any responsible parent strives for this.

Thank you for making my case.

In time, and with more life experience, I think several of you will change your minds. It wouldn’t be the first time.

This particular topic is so sensitive, that this is the standard reply. You can’t tackle it logically, so you just dismiss the opponent’s argument by appealing to some shady age/wisdom authority or emotions.[/quote]

You are the idiot that made the emotionally based ill informed rant in the first place. You know nothing of the subject.

58

lixy you are an idiot. you present all this bullshit as truth when i’m willing to bet it all that you have never looked at empirical studies with which to form your position. do you actually have any training in the subject or are you just putting forth your own “deep” thoughts?

59

Harvey Danger - Flagpole Sitta

60

[quote]FlavaDave wrote:
lixy you are an idiot. you present all this bullshit as truth when i’m willing to bet it all that you have never looked at empirical studies with which to form your position. do you actually have any training in the subject or are you just putting forth your own “deep” thoughts?[/quote]

I never presented anything as truth. That’s just a compilation of my observations. So instead of strawman-building and name-calling, why don’t you try deconstructing my argument?