No Child support !! If You Have a Penis

Off Topic
81

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:
Marriage has always been about resource distribution, i.e. economics. I do not care if you are talking about berries and fish, or car payments and child rearing. This needs to be understood before entering into a marriage as, we can see in the discussion of child support & alimony, these are economic issues.

I had this talk with my wife before we got married.

Key to remember, never marry someone you would not want to divorce. If they strike as sometimes unreasonable and vindictive before you get marriedā€¦I think these goes to their support network some as well.[/quote]

How about unreasonable and stubborn? LOL

I just walked away from that bullet.

82

[quote]ill wrote:
Says it all.[/quote]

Wow.

83

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]ill wrote:
Says it all.[/quote]

Wow.[/quote]

Just to be accurate though that data is dated from 1992, would be interesting to see where it stands 20 years later?

84

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]ill wrote:
Says it all.[/quote]

Wow.[/quote]

Just to be accurate though that data is dated from 1992, would be interesting to see where it stands 20 years later? [/quote]

Yeah, it is probably worse now seeing as there are more divorces now than back then.

That shit is fucking scary.

85

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:

[quote]Tex Ag wrote:

[quote]ill wrote:
Says it all.[/quote]

Wow.[/quote]

Just to be accurate though that data is dated from 1992, would be interesting to see where it stands 20 years later? [/quote]

Yeah, it is probably worse now seeing as there are more divorces now than back then.

That shit is fucking scary.[/quote]

So is driving on 45. :slight_smile:

86

Cheaper to Keep Her as the saying goes. Those stats scare me.

87

[quote]DJHT wrote:
You know who gets fucked over is the kids 9 times out of 10ā€¦[/quote]

This thread is pretty much the reason I deal with real estate.

88

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]DJHT wrote:
You know who gets fucked over is the kids 9 times out of 10ā€¦[/quote]

This thread is pretty much the reason I deal with real estate.[/quote]

Hahahahahaha, congrats you Sooner. Thats why I never worked in pediatrics. The small percentage I did in ER was enough to fuck me up.

89

[quote]Loudog75 wrote:
Cheaper to Keep Her as the saying goes. Those stats scare me.[/quote]

No way.

The emotional toll on the children makes it worth it. In other words it was not an economic decision as much as it was an emotional one for the kids.

The only thing the X and I agreed on was that we did not want our children growing up thinking that constant fighting, bickering, yelling, resentments etc. was the norm.

Even though it crushed them, they now can see what a normal relationship look like in my re-marriage. Thereā€™s never fighting, belittling, and all the crap that seems to go on when eventually the couple resent each other.

I canā€™t say this for the other side thoughā€¦her new marriage has a lot of turmoil and the kids enjoy being here more than there.

I understand the power of the father, and hope that they can glean more out of my side than hers in the long run.

Itā€™s more about the kids than anything else.

Today, people get married for selfish reasonsā€¦financial, taxes, fulfillment sexually. Household chores are split,ā€¦eventually they end up resenting each other because one feels like they give more than the other. Especially where you have a stay at home mom who believes that going to work for six figures is merely an easy break from his home and parental responsibilities, so when he gets home after work, she clocks out and expects him to take the kids and chores.

^^This is by far the biggest issue I have seen with other couples, and was a major contributing factor to the demise of my first marriage.

90

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Loudog75 wrote:
Cheaper to Keep Her as the saying goes. Those stats scare me.[/quote]

No way.

The emotional toll on the children makes it worth it. In other words it was not an economic decision as much as it was an emotional one for the kids.

The only thing the X and I agreed on was that we did not want our children growing up thinking that constant fighting, bickering, yelling, resentments etc. was the norm.

Even though it crushed them, they now can see what a normal relationship look like in my re-marriage. Thereā€™s never fighting, belittling, and all the crap that seems to go on when eventually the couple resent each other.

I canā€™t say this for the other side thoughā€¦her new marriage has a lot of turmoil and the kids enjoy being here more than there.

I understand the power of the father, and hope that they can glean more out of my side than hers in the long run.

Itā€™s more about the kids than anything else.

Today, people get married for selfish reasonsā€¦financial, taxes, fulfillment sexually. Household chores are split,ā€¦eventually they end up resenting each other because one feels like they give more than the other. Especially where you have a stay at home mom who believes that going to work for six figures is merely an easy break from his home and parental responsibilities, so when he gets home after work, she clocks out and expects him to take the kids and chores.

^^This is by far the biggest issue I have seen with other couples, and was a major contributing factor to the demise of my first marriage.

[/quote]

I just donā€™t understand that mindset. I have heard women act like staying at home is the hardest job next to being an on call emergency room resident. No relationship I am in would last long if the wife stayed at home, expected me to work full time and then come straight home and do her job as well.

This can be made worse by having a wife who spends your money like water when she isnā€™t earning any.

I do question why this isnā€™t a major topic nationwide in more forums than the obscure.

I know you canā€™t tell if your wife will end up like that on wedding day, but it sure seems like it is in your best interest to not rush into things.

I donā€™t work hard so I can give my paycheck away to someone who doesnā€™t want to work and wonā€™t have to simply because she divorced me.

I can do ā€œbadā€ all by myself.

91

I remember when my brother got divorced from his wife, she was cheating on him to go do crack with some truck driver, and according to the court documents my brotherā€™s ex divorced him ā€œbecause he would not hit her during sex, leading to irreconcilable differencesā€. My nephew did not speak until he was 3, because my brother was working 60 hours a week, and his wife would leave out cereal and go shut herself in the back room and not verbally communicate with the child. After the divorce, we found evidence of sexual abuse by the ā€œnew boyfriendā€ of my brotherā€™s ex- her drug dealer; so we took him to the hospital.

Both the hospital and the psychologist said that abuse had taken place (please note we got pulled over by the cops on the way over to the guys house with an ax handle and a baseball bat and informed bluntly we needed to turn around- the cops were watching his house). Child Services refused to pull the motherā€™s joint custody because ā€œThe mother will prevent abuse from happening againā€ even though she was still living with the guy, and that is where the visitations took place. Luckily his drugged out ex finally just stopped coming by to get the kid, after 7 years he is finally a half way normal kid.

Besides this experienced I have worked in the JAG corp (with the guard) for the last 6 years, and have seen many fathers get screwed over in court proceedings; there is a huge double standard and it is not likely to go away anytime soon.

92

[quote]barbarianlifter wrote:
(please note we got pulled over by the cops on the way over to the guys house with an ax handle and a baseball bat and informed bluntly we needed to turn around- the cops were watching his house).
[/quote]

you were obviously not that determined. touch my kid, iā€™m eating the charge. fuck it.

93

[quote]TheBodyGuard wrote:

[quote]barbarianlifter wrote:
(please note we got pulled over by the cops on the way over to the guys house with an ax handle and a baseball bat and informed bluntly we needed to turn around- the cops were watching his house).
[/quote]

you were obviously not that determined. touch my kid, iā€™m eating the charge. fuck it.[/quote]

You keep saying thatā€¦yeh I donā€™t know what Iā€™d do either, but the smart play is legally fuck them. Otherwise you get charged with assault and battery, probably sued, time in jail, then you have proven yourself as dangerous as the molester in the eyes of the law.

Remember Ellie Nestler? she walked into court and blew away her sonā€™s molester and spent 15 in jail. Sheā€™s out now.

94

[quote]Professor X wrote:

I just donā€™t understand that mindset. I have heard women act like staying at home is the hardest job next to being an on call emergency room resident. No relationship I am in would last long if the wife stayed at home, expected me to work full time and then come straight home and do her job as well.

This can be made worse by having a wife who spends your money like water when she isnā€™t earning any.

I do question why this isnā€™t a major topic nationwide in more forums than the obscure.

I know you canā€™t tell if your wife will end up like that on wedding day, but it sure seems like it is in your best interest to not rush into things.

I donā€™t work hard so I can give my paycheck away to someone who doesnā€™t want to work and wonā€™t have to simply because she divorced me.

I can do ā€œbadā€ all by myself.[/quote]

Marriage used to be based on traditional values and responsibilities. The women do X and the men do Y. Things were defined and people bragged on their kids achievements.

Now, women talk about whoā€™s screwing who over, who has the best house, car etc. Simply put, as a nation, we moved focus from family to materialism.

95

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

I just donā€™t understand that mindset. I have heard women act like staying at home is the hardest job next to being an on call emergency room resident. No relationship I am in would last long if the wife stayed at home, expected me to work full time and then come straight home and do her job as well.

This can be made worse by having a wife who spends your money like water when she isnā€™t earning any.

I do question why this isnā€™t a major topic nationwide in more forums than the obscure.

I know you canā€™t tell if your wife will end up like that on wedding day, but it sure seems like it is in your best interest to not rush into things.

I donā€™t work hard so I can give my paycheck away to someone who doesnā€™t want to work and wonā€™t have to simply because she divorced me.

I can do ā€œbadā€ all by myself.[/quote]

Marriage used to be based on traditional values and responsibilities. The women do X and the men do Y. Things were defined and people bragged on their kids achievements.

Now, women talk about whoā€™s screwing who over, who has the best house, car etc. Simply put, as a nation, we moved focus from family to materialism.

[/quote]

You know, I see this attitude in many of the women in this area. I donā€™t know if itā€™s just Houston or what, but more focus goes into what kind of car you drive than what you are doing with your life. Women like that I tend to stay away from. Me hooking up with some gold digger who works at Burger King is just setting myself up for failure.

Who hid the decent women with serious life goals?

Is there some rock downtown they are all hiding under?

96

Instant gratification has fucked up so many things

97

[quote]Professor X wrote:

[quote]Rockscar wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:

I just donā€™t understand that mindset. I have heard women act like staying at home is the hardest job next to being an on call emergency room resident. No relationship I am in would last long if the wife stayed at home, expected me to work full time and then come straight home and do her job as well.

This can be made worse by having a wife who spends your money like water when she isnā€™t earning any.

I do question why this isnā€™t a major topic nationwide in more forums than the obscure.

I know you canā€™t tell if your wife will end up like that on wedding day, but it sure seems like it is in your best interest to not rush into things.

I donā€™t work hard so I can give my paycheck away to someone who doesnā€™t want to work and wonā€™t have to simply because she divorced me.

I can do ā€œbadā€ all by myself.[/quote]

Marriage used to be based on traditional values and responsibilities. The women do X and the men do Y. Things were defined and people bragged on their kids achievements.

Now, women talk about whoā€™s screwing who over, who has the best house, car etc. Simply put, as a nation, we moved focus from family to materialism.

[/quote]

You know, I see this attitude in many of the women in this area. I donā€™t know if itā€™s just Houston or what, but more focus goes into what kind of car you drive than what you are doing with your life. Women like that I tend to stay away from. Me hooking up with some gold digger who works at Burger King is just setting myself up for failure.

Who hid the decent women with serious life goals?

Is there some rock downtown they are all hiding under?[/quote]

They are out there.

When my woman says sheā€™s going shopping, it usually means the thrift store. She hates luxury cars, big houses and materialism in general. I went totally opposite this time around and just lucked out.

98

[quote]Professor X wrote:

Who hid the decent women with serious life goals?

Is there some rock downtown they are all hiding under?[/quote]

No man. You just have to have had no car, no job, and appear to be a basket case like me. Then educated and goal driven women will flock to you in an attempt to fix you.

I had to laugh when I met my wife and after she spent a few nights, the older lady across the street voiced some concern. She warned me that some women are just looking for money and a house, and that I should be careful of ā€œthat oneā€.

99

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
In San Diego if you are behind in child support the receiving spouse gets funds from the state and then the state goes after the owing spouse. So they are still getting paid something. Is that what happens in other states?

[/quote]

No. In PA there is a bureau that deducts the money from the spouses paycheck in cooperation with the employer (if he/she gets one) and disperses it according to the order. No money= no payment, but there is official documentation of the lack of activity, and they keep track of the arrears.

It becomes actionable at some point, but Iā€™m not sure when. Iā€™ve never gotten tangled up in that system, but have observed how it works through my sister.

100

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:
In San Diego if you are behind in child support the receiving spouse gets funds from the state and then the state goes after the owing spouse. So they are still getting paid something. Is that what happens in other states?

[/quote]

No. In PA there is a bureau that deducts the money from the spouses paycheck in cooperation with the employer (if he/she gets one) and disperses it according to the order. No money= no payment, but there is official documentation of the lack of activity, and they keep track of the arrears.

It becomes actionable at some point, but Iā€™m not sure when. Iā€™ve never gotten tangled up in that system, but have observed how it works through my sister.
[/quote]

It basically becomes a Judgment on their credit report. I work in the mortgage industry and have had to deny people loans because of unsatisfied Judgments. I know some people in MD who go in and out of jail because of child support (guys that have multiple kids with different baby-mamas). The state takes basically everything, so itā€™s actually easier for them to be in jail because they get three hots and a cot. One guy was a truck driver who got laid off for three months and fell behind (he paid what he could, but not everything). So they suspended his license so he couldnā€™t drive and then when he couldnā€™t meet the income guidelines (as a truck driver which the CS was based on), they locked him up.

Whereā€™s the justice in that?