I hate Ashton Kucher, I would love to bust him over the head with a MGD bottle and then rape Demi More while he watches…Sorry Im a tad bit drunk, I would give demi more a hell of a facial the salty kind, and then force Ashton Kunter to lick it off…
Uh, that was easily the most disturbing post ever.
There’s a barber shop down the street from my office. And yes, they are less gay. I would know this since I invented hair.
Geez Big Martin, I didn’t see that comin’ (so to speak)…
You gotta learn to SIGNAL before you make that kind of turn.
sorry for that crazy post…I was with some buddies drinking way to many cold, refreshing, MGD’s and I was showing them this forum as they are my powerlifting buddies…And we stumbeled upon this Metroseaxual post and we became preety pissed and began discussing how much we hate Ashton Kucher and were mad that he gets to fuck Demi More, so my buddy took it upon himself to post that while I was Laughin my ass off…Sorry for the graphic words…Sorry Big martin
If your buddy is any bigger/stronger than you, be sure to stay on his good side…'cause, damn…
That show “Queer Eye for a Straight Guy” just pisses me right the fuck off.
If I was a TV producter I’d make a show where instead of giving a straight guy a makeover you put a gay guy or 2 on Paris Island for a couple weeks.
Either that or a gay guy at Westside Barbell. I could just picture it now…
Gay Guy (w/ accompanying lisp): “Ugh, where are all the treadmills? Don’t you guys have treadmills? And the juice bar? Isn’t every gym supposed to have a juice bar?”
BASH (Big, mean powerlifter bashing the hell outta gay guy’s head, sending him to the ground)
Westside guy: THERE AIN’T NO TREADMILLS HERE, BITCH! NOW GET LIFTIN’!!
Now that is a show I would definitely watch. My sister and her friend were watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy the other day and I came out to the living room to see what they were watching, when I realized what it was I immediately went back to my room to read.
How about how to be a real man for the pants falling down showing my underwear crowd. Get a BUDS instructor to straighten out a few tudes.
Brad- Just for the record I have a North Face day pack and Dana Designs backpack, but if you ever see me carrying around a messenger bag it is b/c it has my laptop in it.
You know how everyone says that france is 2 years ahead of us in fashion or whatever. Well my friend just got back from Paris and said all of the guys were wearing capris. Just giving you’ll a heads up.
Brad:
I have a messenger bag (to go to class that is), and I am no fucking “metrosexual”, and I’m certainly not gay. In fact, I’m going to have a hard time not knocking someone out if I ever hear that stupid term used casually by someone.
if hot chick like guys that get facials and it dosen’t bother me then i’ll get one. i like sex
Let’s review.
Homophobic = concerned about one’s own sexuality
Awww Dave, Is your obtuse reply to my theory compensation for your metrosexual man purse? :o)
Just fucking with you…
Metrosexual man purse. That’s a perfect name for those.
Metrosexual Update:
Aveda Moisturizing Clear Face Masque works quite well after shaving. Slap some of that shit on, wash 15 minutes later, like a baby’s bottom.
Wouldn’t reccomend the biotherm masque though - dried my shit out and gave me some serious facial irritation.
Oh, and white socks don’t go well with sandals guys.
Top Ten Reasons to be a Metro’:
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Your man purse makes for an excellent MRP holder. Water too.
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Chics won’t be repulsed by your calloused hands, as your hands are baby-butt smooth.
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Gay guys like your hands too.
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When a woman comes over to stay the night, she doesn’t need to bring her shit, as you have all the lotions and oils she needs in a color-coordinated display in your medicine cabinet.
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Change doesn’t get lost as easily in your chase lounge as it would in a sofa.
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You can kick a lot of ass in your cloggy Kenneth Coles.
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You never need to carry around a comb, as you hair is gelled into its shape for the day by 9:00.
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Parking is so much easier in your Mini Cooper.
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You can get cushy summer jobs in clothing stores like Diesel and only have to walk around with a “pout” on your face. And don’t forget to sashay. (That’s for you, Rummy!
And the number one reason to be a Metrosexual…
- You can pull that, “I’m gay, and have never been with a girl, but you’re beautiful enough to make me try it.”
applause
well said
Sounds to me like the ultimate metrosexual would be that Patrick Bateman guy from American Psycho!
I will gladly accept the role of “T-Mag Metrosexual Rep”
Thus, I give you an opus entitled:
Why I Metro
It’s all about contradictions. Avoiding the rut, the groove, the repitition that slowly kills us and definately doesn’t make us stronger. It’s about living how you want to live, not how you’re expected to. It’s about flashing a gigantic middle finger at the notion of being a “man” and defining yourself rather than being defined.
I hate the term metrosexual. I wish they’d left me alone. I’ve been this way for a long time, labels only make it seem guided or directed. It’s anything but that.
I love playing balls out, bloody, guts to the pitch, violent rugby. I love cleaning up afterwards with a nice astringent and a face masque.
I love aesthetics. Pile on some muscle, the “power look” if you will, and frame it with somber colored clothes and a white belt.
I love having something in common with all types of people: women, men, gay men, gay women, intellectuals, dock workers, my fellow busboys, and the web development community.
I love the criticism from people who wear their fear of sexual confusion on their sleeve.
I love to piss my pants over Notre Dame football and the Cubs, but cringe at the thought of a summer “blockbuster.”
Last night I hung out with a friend of mine, a performance artist/cross-dressing/mowhaked fag who is possibly one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. He commented:
“You “metrosexuals” (he shared the distaste for the work) suck. Never know who to hit on anymore.”
I laughed out loud.
All in all, I love honest people. You can pretty quickly tell who’s being truthful about themselves and who’s buying in to a bunch of bullshit fed to them by their “expected” peer group. Unfortunately, now I’ve been dumped in a group, and my honesty will probably be questioned. Fuck that.
The End
Rumbach, may I suggest an attitude of, “Call it what you want; I’ll do what I want”? That would help me feel better about it. Just a thought.
Speaking of homosexual men not knowing who to hit on, I’ve got a funny story. I was in a clothing store (Structure, Express, whatever the hell it’s called now) minding my own business, when an obviously gay clerk comes up to offer assistance (in shopping for clothes, you sick bastards). We start chatting, and then he asks if I would like to go to a movie with him sometime, maybe get dinner. I respond with a polite, “Oh, I’m not…gay.”
His response? He’s not either. I don’t mind if a guy asks me out, but at least sac up to it. I just thought it was funny that two seconds after he asks me out that he denies being gay.