If You Could Go Back?

Keep in mind we are approaching $500k in the stock market, but that’s not without sacrifice. For example:

I drive a BMW 528i…that I bought used for less than $10k. It looks beautiful, drives perfect, but it has 120k miles on it. It’s 10 years old.

We have a 1997 Ford Expedition Eddie Bauer. It’s nice, but it has 120k miles. With three boys it’s perfect for us for now.

Both cars have been paid off for years, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a new car.

We take domestic vacations, nothing fancy. We went to Key West in 2005, and usually in January we go to Disney for a week. We choose January because Disney is empty, and we stay on Cocoa Beach for less than $500 for the week. Cheap and fun.

We’re still in our original home from 10 years ago. We look at houses all the time that I know I can’t afford. Hopefully we won’t give in to temptation and go for something that will bury me in mortgage payments for 30 years.

Overall, we strive for quality of life and try to resist the whole “keeping up with the Jones” mindset.

I can’t tell you how nice it is to have a wife at home with the kids, and to call her and say “honey, I worked all day and I want to hit the gym to blow off some steam” and she says “no worries, take your time.” It’s nice.

Interesting topic.

I think it’s all in how you look at it. However, this is easier said than done.

We will always live with some regret, because the point at which you decide not to live your life with regret is necessarily a point in your life where you have experienced it. You cannot proactively avoid regret without first knowing it.

Having said this, for each disappointment, you learn something. If you didn’t have regret and diappointment, how could you learn to avoid it?

So yes, I kick myself in the ass every day for not taking advantage of a great deal of potential I once had in sports. And I wonder why I have been so shy most of my life. And why didn’t I accept help when help was offered?

At the same time, I try to deal with it by telling myself that I won’t let it happen again to something I care about so much. I deal with regret by trying to make up for lost opportunities with current ones because at the very least, that’s the lesson I’ve learned.

As a young adult who is currently in some sort of hazy “what am I doing with myself” period, I’ve got to say that it is a bit depressing to read the common thread of “I wish I spent more time doing what I wanted to do and not what I thought I had to do”.

Maybe I have yet to face the dreaded ‘real world’, or I am otherwise naive, but I can’t imagine ever just… settling for something because it pays the bills or otherwise gets things done. If it isn’t fulfilling, it just seems like it will slowly(or quickly) eat away at you until you become bitter, old, and regretful.

I guess it comes down to standards, what you want, what you can accept, and what you ‘have’ to do. But I also have a hard time with the notion of ‘having’ to do anything.

One piece of wisdom I was told by a man many years my senior. He told me “you have to ask yourself, if GOD came down and told you that he knew the outcome of following your passion, and he knew that it would leave you penniless, would you still pursue it?”

I confidently said “yes, I would.” but as I grow-up, I question myself, and wonder if my resolve was just naivete.

So, I do not have much to ‘go back’ with, and I worry that there is nothing I can do to prevent bad situations that I will later regret, I suppose that’s not the point though.

[quote]Irish Muscle wrote:
Its only then when you realise that you only live once, and driving kids to school every day and writing reports about wafer chips in “intel” isn’t exactly the way you want to spend your limited time on earth.
[/quote]

The beauty of age is the illusion that we truly had no limitations in our youth.

[quote]Professor X wrote:
Blacksnake wrote:
Way to induce depression dude…<3

If I had to bet, I would say regret is probably the main cause of depression in older people.[/quote]

Definately my cause of depression…

sob

[quote]ProRaven wrote:
I can’t tell you how nice it is to have a wife at home with the kids, and to call her and say “honey, I worked all day and I want to hit the gym to blow off some steam” and she says “no worries, take your time.” It’s nice.

[/quote]

Humm…you don’t get “Hey Asshole, I’ve been watching the kids all day mwhile you’ve had a vacation from the kids at work. I’m going out, you stay, make dinner and get all these chores done.”

great advice guys, i am 20 and i have always listened to older guys and their advice, and have always kept their advice in mind.
With that being said my main goal right now is to try as much as i can to travel the world, and right now me and a friend are planning on meeting a friend in the marines in bangkok, which ties into my next goal of banging as many women as i can, lol.
theres a lot more then that i keep in mind and strive for dont worry, and i appreciate any advice you guys have on here as well.

No personal advice here, just a little from Old Blue Eyes:

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I’ll say it clear,
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life thats full.
I’ve traveled each and every highway;
And more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I’ve had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried.
I’ve had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
No, oh no not me,
I did it my way.

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

also when i was a little younger i worked at home depot and worked with an older guy who gave me tons of advice. the thing that struck me though was money meant nothing to him as he was in credit card debt up to his eyes and made only 9$ an hour. all this meant nothing to him and he was always happy and enjoyed life. he also inherited 200k and blew it in 2 years opposed to investing it and what not.

i personally love money and strive to be successful but i always keep his advice in the back of my head and i always enjoy life 1st before anything.

I would have stretched more in HS, and not worn wraps or a belt when squating.
hence I would have finished my senior year without 3 knee surgaries!

and I wouldn’t of smoked marijuana while taking lots of ephedra. (kind of powerfull!

[quote]blok wrote:
also when i was a little younger i worked at home depot and worked with an older guy who gave me tons of advice.[/quote]

I really feel compelled to point out that “old” does not necessarily equate to “wise.”

[quote]nephorm wrote:
blok wrote:
also when i was a little younger i worked at home depot and worked with an older guy who gave me tons of advice.

I really feel compelled to point out that “old” does not necessarily equate to “wise.”[/quote]

i agree, but old does equate to experience

[quote]mr_slick wrote:
Im young and im startin to regret stuff in my life now that I read this thread. I regret joining a gang,I regret being stuck to one clique,I regret not keeping an open mind. But you know what? This thread has open my eyes. Im not gonna waste my time doing something that makes me unhappy or waste my time on stuff thats keeping me from realizing my potential. (like my ex) I say “Fuck off” to thoese who keep me and you guys from holding us back.

I want to try and see how far I can get into MMA. I Want to see how far my career as an artist can go. I wanna see how far my body can be pushed to the limits. Follow your dreams guys because “You only live once but if your hopes and dreams comes true,Once is just enough” Sounds corny I know,but you guys get the message![/quote]

wow man, im sure glad it effected you the way it did me. im in the same boat with alot of my goals. its hard to stay out of the mental ruts and monotony of stuff.

something from this experience has really stuck with me and has become a driving force in my life

-comfort breeds stagnation. from struggle blooms passion-

[quote]blok wrote:
great advice guys, i am 20 and i have always listened to older guys and their advice, and have always kept their advice in mind.
With that being said my main goal right now is to try as much as i can to travel the world, and right now me and a friend are planning on meeting a friend in the marines in bangkok, which ties into my next goal of banging as many women as i can, lol.
theres a lot more then that i keep in mind and strive for dont worry, and i appreciate any advice you guys have on here as well. [/quote]

watch out for katoys. thats my advice, check the big hands, and adams apple. haha

i just returned from fighting muay thai in thailand and am going back next week for buddhist new year to celebrate in a small rural rice farming village.

If I was able to send a message to myself ten years ago via fax (ala future Dwight), I would have simply written “fight harder” on a piece of paper. Maybe I’d write in very tiny text at the bottom “move out of state as soon as possible”.

As for what people might actually get, I suppose I shouldn’t really put things in order, so I’ll categorize by subject. I’m not that old, but my life has not been a magical wonderland, so maybe I can impart something to someone reading my post. Maybe I can turn Kliplemet away from a life of street warfare based on turn based combat and finessable weapons.

Money: Start maxing out an IRA as early as humanly possible, max out a 401k up to employer matched contributions (if available). Set up a disaster account with around 5k for unexpected clusterfucks in an internet bank savings account with an APR equivalent to most money market accounts. Buy instead of rent if you’re going to be somewhere for more than 2 years. Reallocate IRA funds once a year to compensate for uneven growth. Invest weekly if possible for the sake of dollar cost averaging.

Other than this, don’t touch these things for any reason at any time. Not if you’re working at McDonalds, not if you’re cryogenically frozen, not if you’re riding a hippo naked through the wilds of Africa.

Women: R e l a x. With a condom. And a prenup.

Family: If you’ve got a shitty one, create a new one through friends and meeting new people. If you’ve got an alright one, or through sheer dumb luck a good one, don’t take them for granted, always go back home for the holidays.

Children: Since I’m not a father, maybe I’m not qualified to say anything about this, but the one thing I’d recommend is to get all ‘zany’ ideas you’ve ever had out of the way before having children.

You can live on $600 a month if you’re a start-up. You can be a roadie if you don’t have any children. You can spend 6 months in a cave meditating if you don’t have to find a good preschool. Dreams do not take care of a family. Being a parent involves sacrifice, try to have little left to sacrifice by the time you become a parent.

Travel: Do it. Do it when you’re young, do it when you’re old, take kids along if you have them, take friends along if they’re receptive. Don’t stop doing it just because you’re “too busy”. Don’t go to the same place every Summer. Forget the internships in college- travel.

Not to sound like a greeting card, but life is short, and the world is big. You don’t know shit until you experience places you’ve never seen before.

Entertainment: Reading is fundamental! The written word is the single greatest invention in the history of man (although electricity was up there in importance, and I have a special place in my heart for the internal combustion engine), and to ignore it is to be ignorant and useless for the rest of your life. If you spend more time watching television than reading you should be euthanized.

Finally, I believe you should strive to incorporate these two quotes from Robert Heinlein into your life:

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do.

I am 62 but don’t feel old. So this is just a piece of advice (luckily no one ever takes advice!).
The world changes, to survive you have to change with it.

Fuck it, i’m going travelling again.

[quote]Zap Branigan wrote:
Had kids earlier.[/quote]

I second this one.

If you could go back? How about going fucking forward and stop wasting your time on silly impossible things?

There’s no point telling people to use their youth wisely. “Oh if I could go back with my current knowledge…blah, piss, bitch”. Well you can’t. That’s the whole cracking point of youth - gaining experience by making mistakes early.

I’d tell that old guy “Yeah, captain Scleroso? Don’t tell me nobody tried to inform you to use YOUR youth wisely. But did you listen? Beat it you old sock!”

[quote]nephorm wrote:
The beauty of age is the illusion that we truly had no limitations in our youth.[/quote]

That is a beautiful quote.