HOA Horror Stories and Advice

Off Topic
41

I could never live in a community like that. I’m way to vengeful to let people dictate my life and talk down to me. Shit, I own a house and am having problems with my nitpicking neighbor. She’s a pain in the ass and gets on my nerves, but when she really starts acting coocoo and comes knocking on my door to complain about some BS, I’m able to close the door in her face without any sort of repercussions. Fuk HOA’s, they do protect against one person who let’s their lawn go to shit making the area look bad, but they take their jobs way over board.

My ex installed astro-turf in their front lawn, shit looked nice and saved on water, HOA came knocking telling them they had to remove it. I didn’t understand tho because they lived in a house and it wasn’t a gated community, but I guess some single family home neighborhoods have hoa’s too.

42

I’m in my second (and last) HOA communtiy. Both have been communities of single family homes.

The first one was OK. Large community (more than 100 homes). Our dues mainly paid for the community pool. The only hassle was having the board OK what color you were going to paint your home. We bought in that community specifically because we thought we’d only be there 3-10 years and worried about resale. I think being in a well run community like that helped with our resale based on discussions that I had with friends and real estate people at the time.

My current HOA community is a gated community and much smaller. Something like 36 homes. And these people are crazy. They want to control how you keep your lawn, flower beds, house paint, fence stain, etc, etc. They want to control who can and can’t park on what part of the street and when. They bitch at each other at every HOA meeting. We’ve had people shout and cry at meetings. And it’s a negative feedback loop. The first few meeting almost everyone showed up. But since each meeting features the head cases raving about parking or lawn maintenance, the sane people slowly stopped going to the meeting. Which meant more time for the crazies to scream. Which drove away more of the sane people. Now we have to beg to get 12 houses to the meeting to vote on whatever the topic is, 12 being required for a valid vote on anything.

Where I bought in Washington you only have 3 choices when you’re buying a house…
New, large HOA controlled development. Affordable.
Older home in older neighborhood. Affordable, but I’m not a handy man so it’s not the best.
New custom home on a lot that you buy. Can’t afford.

Next house might have to be a old and run down. Life is too short for HOAs.

43

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
LOL

This thread amuses me.[/quote]

Any professional insight you can share?

44

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
LOL

This thread amuses me.[/quote]

Any professional insight you can share?
[/quote]

Read your documents before you buy.

Pay your bills.

Don’t live in one if you don’t like it.

As some of you may know, I’m your friendly neighborhood HOA attorney. I write cranky letters and sue your asses when you don’t comply. 95% of my problems are caused by 5% of my owners, who, like many people, buy in an HOA so they can have the good stuff (pretty lawns, a pool, whatever) and then get pissed when they are told they can’t do something. Whatever. I have very little sympathy.

I work with hundreds of associations, and the unreasonable boards/managers are extremely rare. Yeah, you, as the homeowner, might think they are unreasonable, but they have a duty to the other 99 homeowners to tell you to comply with the rules.

The war stories I have are fucking awesome, tho.

Just this week, one of our owners got sent to jail because he screened in his porch without permission. The HOA told him to take it down; he refused. The HOA asked us to tell him to take it down; he refused. We sued. We won. The court told him to take it down, but he still refused. The court held him in contempt, and he got pulled over and dragged into jail. Hilarity.

45

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[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
LOL

This thread amuses me.[/quote]

Any professional insight you can share?
[/quote]

Read your documents before you buy.

Pay your bills.

Don’t live in one if you don’t like it.

As some of you may know, I’m your friendly neighborhood HOA attorney. I write cranky letters and sue your asses when you don’t comply. 95% of my problems are caused by 5% of my owners, who, like many people, buy in an HOA so they can have the good stuff (pretty lawns, a pool, whatever) and then get pissed when they are told they can’t do something. Whatever. I have very little sympathy.

I work with hundreds of associations, and the unreasonable boards/managers are extremely rare. Yeah, you, as the homeowner, might think they are unreasonable, but they have a duty to the other 99 homeowners to tell you to comply with the rules.

The war stories I have are fucking awesome, tho.

Just this week, one of our owners got sent to jail because he screened in his porch without permission. The HOA told him to take it down; he refused. The HOA asked us to tell him to take it down; he refused. We sued. We won. The court told him to take it down, but he still refused. The court held him in contempt, and he got pulled over and dragged into jail. Hilarity.
[/quote]

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!

Take this, PMPM. I wish you the best of luck.

46

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
LOL

This thread amuses me.[/quote]

Any professional insight you can share?
[/quote]

Read your documents before you buy.

Pay your bills.

Don’t live in one if you don’t like it.

As some of you may know, I’m your friendly neighborhood HOA attorney. I write cranky letters and sue your asses when you don’t comply. 95% of my problems are caused by 5% of my owners, who, like many people, buy in an HOA so they can have the good stuff (pretty lawns, a pool, whatever) and then get pissed when they are told they can’t do something. Whatever. I have very little sympathy.

I work with hundreds of associations, and the unreasonable boards/managers are extremely rare. Yeah, you, as the homeowner, might think they are unreasonable, but they have a duty to the other 99 homeowners to tell you to comply with the rules.

The war stories I have are fucking awesome, tho.

Just this week, one of our owners got sent to jail because he screened in his porch without permission. The HOA told him to take it down; he refused. The HOA asked us to tell him to take it down; he refused. We sued. We won. The court told him to take it down, but he still refused. The court held him in contempt, and he got pulled over and dragged into jail. Hilarity.
[/quote]

Din’t know that. I knew you practiced law, but I didn’t know the specifics.

I just find the whole concept so curious because of how hot under the collar I’ve gotten with neighbors who don’t understand boundaries.

47

[quote]AndrewG909 wrote:
I could never live in a community like that. I’m way to vengeful to let people dictate my life and talk down to me. Shit, I own a house and am having problems with my nitpicking neighbor. She’s a pain in the ass and gets on my nerves, but when she really starts acting coocoo and comes knocking on my door to complain about some BS, I’m able to close the door in her face without any sort of repercussions. Fuk HOA’s, they do protect against one person who let’s their lawn go to shit making the area look bad, but they take their jobs way over board.
[/quote]
My nearest neighbor is 1/2 mile away. Anyone moves in any closer and the for sale sign goes up.

48

I think the hard part is that you can read the documents and you still won’t know the whole story. I’ve been in 2 different ones that had similar rules, but they go about it in different ways. Know what I mean, PMPM? Because a lawyer doesn’t get involved unless the HOA board asks them to. So if you live in a community with a sane board, you should be good. If it’s run by nut bags, you’re screwed.

49

[quote]gonugs wrote:
I think the hard part is that you can read the documents and you still won’t know the whole story. I’ve been in 2 different ones that had similar rules, but they go about it in different ways. Know what I mean, PMPM? Because a lawyer doesn’t get involved unless the HOA board asks them to. So if you live in a community with a sane board, you should be good. If it’s run by nut bags, you’re screwed.[/quote]

I totally agree, at least as to the governance issue. We try to “counsel civility” and educate boards with how to do things right, because that ultimately saves everyone money and headaches. We spend half our time just trying to educate people on how to do the right thing.

Sometimes you just get people who have personal grudges, and they create a lot of problems. You can’t fix crazy.

My HOA is pretty relaxed, compared to some, but I bought the house with the assumption that they could be covenant nazis.

50

It would be great if you had to disclose all the actions that have been taken by the board against HOA members at the time of sale. So then you could see how nutty they are up front AND it could work as a way to temper the HOA board. Because if you’re disclosure shows crazy nazi style enforcement, then it could eventually effect resale value. And that’s a big part of why most of these nut bags are in the HOA community to begin.

Dang. I’m smart. Now if I just had the power.

51

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:
LOL

This thread amuses me.[/quote]

Any professional insight you can share?
[/quote]

Read your documents before you buy.

Pay your bills.

Don’t live in one if you don’t like it.

As some of you may know, I’m your friendly neighborhood HOA attorney. I write cranky letters and sue your asses when you don’t comply. 95% of my problems are caused by 5% of my owners, who, like many people, buy in an HOA so they can have the good stuff (pretty lawns, a pool, whatever) and then get pissed when they are told they can’t do something. Whatever. I have very little sympathy.

I work with hundreds of associations, and the unreasonable boards/managers are extremely rare. Yeah, you, as the homeowner, might think they are unreasonable, but they have a duty to the other 99 homeowners to tell you to comply with the rules.

The war stories I have are fucking awesome, tho.

Just this week, one of our owners got sent to jail because he screened in his porch without permission. The HOA told him to take it down; he refused. The HOA asked us to tell him to take it down; he refused. We sued. We won. The court told him to take it down, but he still refused. The court held him in contempt, and he got pulled over and dragged into jail. Hilarity.
[/quote]

You can’t always research potential problems here before they happen. I live in a brand new subdivision. Google Maps still has a picture of a blank lot where all of these houses are now so I won’t know if the HOA here is insane for quite some time.

I think most people are pissed at the apparent loss of privacy or “free will”. If I want a pool in my own backyard that no one can even see except maybe one neighbor from their second floor window, then why does an HO get to decide the depth and color of pavement?

I think most of us, if we had the opportunity, would live on a single solitary lot somewhere with 1 mile in all directions to the nearest neighbor.

52

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I think most people are pissed at the apparent loss of privacy or “free will”. If I want a pool in my own backyard that no one can even see except maybe one neighbor from their second floor window, then why does an HO get to decide the depth and color of pavement?
[/quote]

Because you agreed to those terms when you bought the house.

If you don’t want crazy on your board, get on the board. But actually, that would probably be putting crazy on the board…

53

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I think most people are pissed at the apparent loss of privacy or “free will”. If I want a pool in my own backyard that no one can even see except maybe one neighbor from their second floor window, then why does an HO get to decide the depth and color of pavement?
[/quote]

Because you agreed to those terms when you bought the house.

If you don’t want crazy on your board, get on the board. But actually, that would probably be putting crazy on the board…[/quote]

Okay, PMPM:

So how do you deal with a board being run illegally/ignoring all semblance or procedure by out of state investors who still control a significant % of the complex? They employ their own property manager, who doesn’t give a rats ass about what all but a few homeowners (with whom she is buddies) say?

Yes, they are clearly in illegal territory. I have a number of lawyer associates who were willing to give me a good number of free hours with their legal assistants looking up the laws, as well as some of their own time. But they’re not going to court for free.

It seems that the only thing I can do is bring this developer/builder/property-management company to court every single time they violate the law. And of course, their pockets are much deeper than mine.

Example: I have documented every single notice of an HOA meeting they’ve ever sent out, not one has an agenda on it. Not one. Small procedural “who cares” you say. I say not, they always schedule them in the middle of the workday, I will use a day off to go if there’s something important to be discussed.

Example II: A quorum is never called, and votes are never taken. Seriously. And no official rule changes are made (except on budget issues). So like, our complex allows dogs. There were problems with dogs. At one HOA meeting a homeowner complained. Member of executive board tells property manager to start giving $100 fines for any violations (of what?). In no document can I find out what is considered a violation (there are no written rules for pet beyond one dog per unit), or anywhere in writing saying the $100 fine is kosher. It’s not, they made it up right then and their and started enforcing it.

54

[quote]Spartiates wrote:

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Professor X wrote:
I think most people are pissed at the apparent loss of privacy or “free will”. If I want a pool in my own backyard that no one can even see except maybe one neighbor from their second floor window, then why does an HO get to decide the depth and color of pavement?
[/quote]

Because you agreed to those terms when you bought the house.

If you don’t want crazy on your board, get on the board. But actually, that would probably be putting crazy on the board…[/quote]

Okay, PMPM:

So how do you deal with a board being run illegally/ignoring all semblance or procedure by out of state investors who still control a significant % of the complex? They employ their own property manager, who doesn’t give a rats ass about what all but a few homeowners (with whom she is buddies) say?

Yes, they are clearly in illegal territory. I have a number of lawyer associates who were willing to give me a good number of free hours with their legal assistants looking up the laws, as well as some of their own time. But they’re not going to court for free.

It seems that the only thing I can do is bring this developer/builder/property-management company to court every single time they violate the law. And of course, their pockets are much deeper than mine.[/quote]

Did you install the wood floors or were they there when you bought the unit? How did your downstairs neighbor know you had wood floors?

55

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
It seems that the only thing I can do is bring this developer/builder/property-management company to court every single time they violate the law. And of course, their pockets are much deeper than mine.[/quote]

Yep.

Depending on your laws, the Developer has to turn over a certain amount of control to the owners as it sells more units in the development. There are triggering percentages; these are probably also set out in your declaration.

Feel free to PM me to discuss this in more detail.

56

[quote]pushmepullme wrote:

[quote]Spartiates wrote:
It seems that the only thing I can do is bring this developer/builder/property-management company to court every single time they violate the law. And of course, their pockets are much deeper than mine.[/quote]

Yep.

Depending on your laws, the Developer has to turn over a certain amount of control to the owners as it sells more units in the development. There are triggering percentages; these are probably also set out in your declaration.

Feel free to PM me to discuss this in more detail.[/quote]

Sorry if your tired of this but will he recoup lawyers fees from the HOA if he wins his cases?

57

[quote]JGerman wrote:

[quote]OctoberGirl wrote:

[quote]Spartiates wrote:

[quote]SkyzykS wrote:
So, are buyers informed of the fact that their property is under the control of an HOA by the Realtor, or is their some disclosure that states this before you purchase?

[/quote]

Yes, any condo or complex type home is likely to have an HOA.

You get to look at the rules, regs and bylaws before you purchase. But that doesn’t really tell you how it will be run. In my case, the complex was brand-new, I bought my piece at auction dirt cheap (should have been a warning), and I was one of the first people to move in. So there was no history to look at.

[/quote]

You can also request to review their minutes. That you have to ask for. That is where they will publicly comment on the grievances they have about those persons in their HOA. So you can see how nitpicky there are about enforcing their rules.

Ask for at least 4-months, but go back as far as they will let you go. Especially review the minutes for the months with a holiday. You want to see if they are going to tow your friends’ cars if they park to long in visitors spaces.[/quote]

I assume you can ask for minutes if you a current resident?[/quote]

I would think so. Have you tried requesting them?

Aren’t the meetings open to all the members of the HOA?

58

WOW
If I ever had a mind to commit suicide, I’d take these people along for the ride.
Unbelievable.

59

Are HOA’s super common in the US??? I’ve never heard of this craziness.

60

[quote]Seego wrote:
WOW
If I ever had a mind to commit suicide, I’d take these people along for the ride.
Unbelievable.[/quote]
2x
Fuck these people. I’d be amazed to see if they did anything worthwhile.