Damn that’s absolutely nuts 
I feel like that’s way crazier than the time I crushed up a hydromorphone 8mg tablet in the dirty gas station bathroom using sink water to jack that shit straight into my arm.
Crazy paradox right? Your injecting peptides into your joints and I’m slamming dope into my veins…neither one of us feels comfortable with the other lol
I feel like a broken record with your posts episodic but please provide a source/citation for this information.
Ffs 
sounds like your lucky to be alive. Crazy what you do when your younger isnt it. Im craping myself at what my kids will put me through.
I was completely insane right up until about 30 lol. If my kids are even 25% as bad i think I’ll have a brain hemorrhage lol
Yeah, lucky to be alive brother. I don’t miss my old life at all. I moved over a 1’000 miles away from where I was raised just to start over.
Oh dude, I’m paying for it big time with my son who’s 20 years old now. He’s a terror like me. Similar upbringing, same environment I grew up in, same problems as me. Yeah, It’s wicked. Kids got a massive heart but he’s been through a lot! Anyways, I knows about the path I went down cause I was still F’ing off at 24 years old and he was almost 6 years old. I straightened myself out and got it together after awhile but his mom…oh god, she just got worse and worse. Funny thing, I hadn’t heard from her in 8 years and she called me from a detox center 2 days ago and told me she was trying to get off Methadone! Same thing I kicked off of when I was 24. It’s a miracle! She’s been getting strung out since shortly after we divorced. I pray for her…she needs so bad to get clean man. My son needs it for her too.
My boy was getting into dope pretty bad so I put his ass in a 40K monthly rehab and he’s finally coming around. I hope he’s done. Kids amazing, he knows more about punk rock than anyone I’ve ever met and I didn’t think he’d know more about any genre of music than me. He’s a sic ass bass player too. Not bad for a half Chicano half Guero
My daughter is a straight A student with a full ride to almost any college she wants…which actually scares the shit out of me even more. She’s 18 and I think her problems are yet to come.
25% eh? You’ll be alright, you take care of your family, it’s obvious man. You know what’s important and your capable of caring the ones you love.
Out of all that it was the 40k a month rehab that shook me the most lol. Youve done good man. It takes a certain mentality to see through that bullshit and pull your head straight and not everyone has it. Well done bro. Genuinely.
I too walked from my life to start over again. Well,twice actually but i got there the 2nd time. I was still a bit of a coke head when my wife (then girlfriend) got pregnant but when she did that was the final bit of the puzzle for me. With me if i vow something, especially to myself, then i will not break it. I cannot. I live by my word and respect to me means everything and that includes self respect. Never looked back since.
Im not an angel but i dont and wont go near drugs and barely drink if ever. And wont drink to be drunk, i developed into a bit of a self control freak. Well plus i can be a bit of a target in some situations and random attacks, stabbings and even kidy snatchers are rife these days so im on constant high alert. Thats not just paranoia by the way theres constant attempted abductions or abductions round west Yorkshire and the local towns and cities round here are notorious for gang violence or knife crime especially at night time.
Anyway i digress. Regarding kids i just try and be straight up with them right from babies.
They know me by my street name, because its all anyone calls me by lol, they know everyone knows daddy, they know im not your average 2.4 children kinda guy, they know life can be shit. Theyve not had to see it, well actually yes once they have unfortunately. Car jacking at gun and knifepoint on the driveway. They are taught to fight, not to trust easily and are not taught lifes a bed of roses and disney films pmsl.
But they are happy and fulfilled and loved. And i do anything, right or wrong, in my power to make sure they, and the rest of my family, get to live and experience life in ways i could of only wished for. My son is schooled in honour, politeness and respect as much as he is self protection and industriousness. He even wears thors hammer around his neck by his own choice and he only 7 lol.
I hope by not shying them away from real life, and therefore the naughty side of life that parents always hide, that it wont seem as appealing as they age. Like it wont be such a big deal or be “cool” because its naughty.
Give them something to focus on, give them moral value and education and i hope all else falls into place.
Fingers and toes firmly crossed lol
My head was so far up my ass when I was younger that I never saw daylight. More than half “My Friends”, if you could call them that, died violently or tragically, or are locked up for a long damn time. As for my son…I don’t know how I made it out of there but if my only purpose in life is to make sure he beats his demons, that’s all I care about. I’m just grateful to be alive at this point, if it’s for someone else alone, I’m perfectly happy with that.
Yeah…40 F****** K a month man.
After changing my life, I used the only social skills I had to survive “Out There” to make connections. But this time good connections, real connections with truly good people who I can trust in and be real with. People who know what I did and what was done to me and aren’t afraid of me…that…is…a gift my friend! After working in the treatment field years later I got my mom and my brother in treatment at a couple expensive facilities across the states for free because I was a top earner for the treatment conglomerate I worked for.
After I left the treatment industry I still had some strings I could pull from a dear friend who worked in the industry. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t have a lot of help getting a deal in that 40K facility and people just pitched in to help pay for my boy. Hell most of them aren’t even blood related to my son but they’re pretty much the best family I’ve ever had. When those people really need help, I’ve done everything I can to show up, that’s why I think they’ve been so good to me.
It’s still a one sided ordeal to me because I get redemption out of helping them out and they still bless me anyway.
I’m still paying off my end of the 40K. I had to earn that the honest way…took years to be able to be what I am and I spent too much time f****** off.
My son deserves better than what I had to offer him as a little boy and much better than he got from his mom. My boy has mountains to climb but I’m right beside him helping him when he’s not too proud.
I love that kid and he deserves everything I can give him…he’s already seen way to much out in Cali. I want him to find something better at an earlier age than I did…he’s lucky to be alive as well…that kids seen far more violence than most adults will in their lifetime. For everything that’s in the past, I really lucked out by living long enough to be with him in Nashville now. I drug his ass out here when some guys who didn’t know they worked for his moms side of the family were going to kill him. He’s safe here.
I wouldn’t hurt a fly these days unless I had to. The people I know today know I value principal and they are like minded. I’ve become trusting and trustworthy. They have integrity and compassion and I have learned how to be the same way in the last 16 years…mostly from them honestly.
I still have old behaviors that pop up but they’re very tame when I look back on my life. If I have aggression, I take it out in training or at the gym.
I don’t know if I deserve what I have but I appreciate the nod man.
Listening to pieces of your story and your outlook on life gives me a lot of gratitude for acknowledgment coming from a man like yourself. I know it’s a different world out there but stand over men are stand over men everywhere, we just called them soldiers and enforcers where I grew up. Violence no matter the place or it’s manifestation, is still always violence and something I don’t want a part of anymore.
Better to be a control freak than to be out of control and think we’re in control. I’m sorry Englands not bigger or you could just pick up and move far far away where your safe and everyone forgets who you are after awhile, that’s what I did. I’m still always clocking my surroundings even in a nice part of town unfortunately lol (I feel like a facken fool sometimes when I realize I’m safe now).
Your a good dad man, it’s just obvious the way you talk about your kids! They’re going to be great dnok. I think you have very little to worry about. The parents that concern me most are the ones who aren’t concerned and you’re obviously suited to be your kids dad.
Protecting kids from an ugly world is about loving our kids so they can be gradually introduced to it without throwing them into the fire before their equipped. I Very Strongly Believe that the way you’ve described is the better of ways to go about this…no one needs an emotional limb missing while coming into adulthood.
NH, do you mean the content of my posts, in many cases, includes information that appears to be extracted from my nether regions?
By the way, it’s not offensive to ask where I am getting this information, particularly in today’s environment of the scientific consensus (no such thing - we don’t vote when applying the scientific method).
This information came from “The Hormone Handbook” page 334; Theirry Hertoghe. Table 1 How to Lower High Estradiol (and SHBG) Levels in men. Coffee and alcohol are the two most important items (besides obesity) in the list of 16 possible causes/solutions.
I trust the author. He has just been right about so many things that others don’t understand. The handbook includes over 400 pages of categorized studies (some with detailed abstracts).
Please ask about anything that seems unusual.
Lastly, I drink coffee. When I mentioned stop, that was meant in the context of lowering excessive estradiol only,
Other than this potential issue with estradiol, coffee is an antioxident and has many positive health related qualities.tr
Could you please provide Dr. Hertoghe’s citation for this information? Im not finding much on the ncbi website outside of it raises E2 in asian women but lowers it in white women.
In this case he may not have a specific study (although I can look in a few days) to back up his work rather I believe he indicates that the table I referenced is based on the his (and colleagues) experience treating a large number of patients. This certainly does not have the power of a double blind, placebo controlled trial (or any study for that matter).
Hertoghe runs a medical school for endocrinology in Europe and uses this book in his curriculum.
I have run what he has said by other docs and no one seems to have any reason to believe there is a problem with his work.
The problem we have is that we want evidence. Ther chronic nature of the endocrine system makes it difficult to obtain evidence over a breadth of content. I have said that we don’t exchange evidence for reputation of the scientist making the claim. I believe that.
When the evidence is not available, then we can look to those with experience for cautious guidance if we believe they are positioned ethically, with the truth as a guiding principal rather than ideology.
I am biased in Hertoghe’s favor simply because I have been using his material for at least 5 years, possibly more and have yet to find a single signifant error in his work.
Please use this information with the above in mind.
experienced physicians (guys that acutally know and understand hrt)
Well got to speak to the doctor i wanted and came away almost emotional lol. Blown away by how different a service one can receive from one doctor to the next but in this case its most certainly favourable for me and i will be sticking with this chap wherever possible.
To cut a long story short he was non too impressed with his colleagues attitude and i found him very approachable and willing to help and listen.
He sent me away with a stack of request forms for different bloodworks including full liver profiling as well as non too pleasant things like disease checks amongst others and has ordered an ultrasound of my liver.
The best news of all though is as he was so approachable and open we sat and discussed my use of trt, the reasons why, previous results and the length of time id being managing my own and afterwards he said once we’ve gotten the liver issue sorted, or at least know whats going on he will send me to see an endocrinologist with a view to getting some help with my trt moving forward.
You have to understand here in the UK, and especially in west Yorkshire where they simply dont fund for things like this, that a doctor to even mention these words is simply unheard of. Its like finding a unicorn, that shits diamonds, with a winning lottery ticket in its mouth. Its impossible lol.
Ok so its only a nod in the right direction but im feeling good about it as previously literally no doctor has even entertained talking about it let alone flat out tried to get me trt. Awesome.
Anyway I’ll post the results of this next batch of results just to keep the thread up to date once they come in. You never know it may help someone one day in a similar position.
Positive movements guys. What a shock for the nhs lol. Sure would be nice not shelling out 100’s of pounds every month or two for private bloodwork 
Ok some results are back so here goes. Firstly, and this is not the comments of my doctor its the comments left by whomever does the testing, let me say im pretty shocked at someone having written that my gonadotropin levels are, and i quote, “borderline with no further action required”.
Borderline their on the floor lmao, which obviously is of no surprise.
Anyway
Gonadotrophin level
Serum LH level 0.1 u/L
Adult male ref ranges: LH 1-9 U/L, FSH 1-10 U/L
Serum follicle stimulating hormone level 0.3 u/L
Pathology Investigations
AST serum level 31 iu/L [13.0 - 40.0]
Liver function tests
Serum total bilirubin level 17 umol/L [21.0]
Serum alkaline phosphatase level 83 iu/L [30.0 - 130.0]
Serum alanine aminotransferase level 50 iu/L [40.0]
Outside reference range
Serum gamma-glutamyl transferase level 28 iu/L [73.0]
Need to speak to doctor. (No shit).
Serum A1 antitrypsin level (XE2du) 1.25 g/L [1.1 - 2.1]
Quantitatively normal but less than median value, if
deficiency is strongly suspected or there is a f/h
Send repeat sample and request phenotyping.
(This is not so good as it may mean im predisposed to liver disease. Hoping not but then maybe that ties in with my unexplainable alt and ast values from the liver test. Guess we’ll find out)
So, thats all thats back for now. Will update with more when i can.
Interesting though. Seems trt might not be my only worry lol.
Well, it appears that what you said about finding a T doc was spot the F*** on man. Whoever is interpreting the labs is either incompetent or thinks their reading the labs of someone undergoing Androgen Suppression Therapy for cancer! At least it’s not the doctor themselves.
Haysoose, that’s a little frightening.
Dnok, I’m half (insert here)ologist and half hypochondriac. I’m glad that the 100 or so times I self diagnosed myself with horrific things that my qualifications were so low.
Seeing a hepatologist might not be a bad idea…dunno how hard that is there…but I try not to plan my funeral anymore when weird shit happens with my body. 9 times out of 10, no worries…but that 10th times, well, better safe than sorry, yeah? Lemme know how your fairing when you get more info on your situation.
It’s easy for me to freak the hell out with my health sometimes, but usually I’m wasting time with worry.
Shit, my HM HG Ferritin total-Saturation RBC and RDW made me look like I got alien blood and should be dying any moment.
Told u man. Scary who’s considered experts in the nhs real scary. Luckily i think the doc im with either has a clue or certainly seems open to listening.
Plus theres recommendations for further tests come through and some of the values show clear indication of shit being wrong so no doubt there’s to be further investigation and probably an answer so feeling positive about that.
Im strongly leaning towards coeliac disease to be honest. It can play with all these numbers and ive always had issues with certain foods. Ive had plenty trouble and its all documented. Supposed to be on either a lifelong dose of 40mg pentoprazole or if it doesnt control my acid then surgery but i found I could kinda manage by stopping eating certain foods and i hate the idea of daily tablets so don’t take em lol.
Always have minor indigestion tho and burping, rising acid etc and it can make me feel a bit crap at times so im definitely wondering if coeliac disease is to blame. Simple blood test anyway. Will discuss with him monday.
I wouldn’t be so shocked if i ate like shit, got drunk all the time and was still a party animal but im like a fucking saint lmao and have been for best part of a decade. Typical
Thanks for keeping popping in with encouragement man. I’ll keep updating as things unfold. At least its kinda interesting lol.
Yeah brother, I’m always curious about health symptoms and their tied diagnosis. Medicine, and currently biochemistry, are subjects I’m fascinated with. Since getting into looking at lab work and trying to understand their values and relationships to one another, I really really have become fixated with that science.
Funny you don’t like pills, that’s hilarious my friend.
Yeah its pretty hilarious really. At one point all I did was take pills lol. If you could get an affect off it id of taken it. Whether that was pills, powder or pretty much any other form.
Quite ironic that the problems start when I should be healthier than ever
Life. Certainly keeps you on your toes lmao
Yup, that seems to be how it is man. Weird right? Guy quits smoking, catches emphysema. Dude loses 150 pounds…heart attack. I mean damn…I’ve seen it over and over too.
Hell, my uncle quite drinking for about 7 months after drinking like a mad bastard for his entire life and the dude was diagnosed with a massive blood clot in his legs. Maybe he had it before he tried to stop and he finally went to get it checked out after he wasn’t numb 24/7, who really knows. Guy went out drinking anyways.
Anyways, I’ll be the last one to say life isn’t a tricky b****.
Regardless, I’m living on borrowed time, but then we all could say that. The number one indisputable cause of death is life, yeah? Everyone gets the axe and only some of us get blindfolded. For every bird in the hand there’s 2 in bu…f*** it, you get the point
Sorry to f*** about like that but I got laugh at the tragic comedy man. Death gets older the older I get. You’ll be fine I’m sure.
Sometimes it’s just a little fun for me to remind myself “f*** it, we’re all going to die…since we got that out of the way, what would be good for dinner tonight? Oh yeah, I’ve got enough leftovers to make some badass burritos tonight!”