…no not some weird sexual act.
here’s the deal; I’m house sitting for my parents while they go galavanting 'round the world and summer is finally here (in the UK) - they’re pretty busy so the garden has turned into some strange mutant mess (think the bad guys from jason and the wheeled-warriors).
I figured it would be nice if I spend some time fixing it up, I figure I’ll get a nice tan and some good lifting exercise in fresh air…but I’ve never done anything like this before. (in my head I sneak off at night to the cricket club and steal all their astro turf and just layer it all over everything). Help! does anyone have any experience doing something like this on their own? I really dont want to hire anyone 'cos I’d love to sort it on my own. Would it help if I posted a pic? Any good diy websites? I;ve searched but each time i put green fingers into google I get webistes i’m not supposed to look at anymore 
The main problem is that my parents are greek so we’re the only family in our neighbourhous to have fig trees, vines, olive trees and weird plants that eat cats so i dont want to inadvertantly kill anything (cos that’ll result in my dad kickin my ass)
Thanks in advance for any advice!!