If a swedish couple adopt a black baby and raise it in Sweden, just as if it were their biological child, science can tell you the child is not Swedish but the child might feel swedish and identify as swedish for reasons beyond citizenship. Such as cultural. But because the child doesn’t look swedish, it’s up to others to decide what he is?
I didn’t answer the question because we both agree about the reality of it. Because the debate is now only about being ‘mean.’ And I feel it is mean to expect me to pretend those differences we both agree exist, don’t. Those are MY feelings.
But whose feelings matter more, because you have to make a choice. You can hurt someone else or hurt yourself. How much does it really hurt you though? Will you go home and cry? Will you feel like you are less of a person? Will you contemplate suicide? Calling someone by their choice of pronoun is simply acknowledging they have a belief, it isn’t sharing it or betraying your own.