Somewhere in the hierarchy of friendship sure you can be friends with a women. I don’t think that a women should be the ‘best friend’ or the cornerstone of your friendships though.
I think the female idea of friendship is very different to the male idea which is what makes it so difficult!
I guess an interesting question would be, if you were gay would your best friend still be the same sex, or the different sex. That should narrow it down to whether opinions are actually about the sex, or misogynistic/misandrist opinions.
[quote]Cortes wrote:
On another note, I thought this thread would be a little more contentious. It’s not as much fun when everyone agrees. (`_^) [/quote]
But aren’t couples usually best friends, as well as lovers? Most of the time when you hear woman or man, when talking about their significant other, that he/she is their best friend.
[quote]stefan128 wrote:
But aren’t couples usually best friends, as well as lovers? Most of the time when you hear woman or man, when talking about their significant other, that he/she is their best friend.[/quote]
[quote]stefan128 wrote:
But aren’t couples usually best friends, as well as lovers? Most of the time when you hear woman or man, when talking about their significant other, that he/she is their best friend.[/quote]
I always thought he (she now) was pretty cool…now I just want to ask her for naked pics like all the other dumb hoes on herez.[/quote]
rite?
<PM’z jackie for nakes>[/quote]
She’s about to give birth any day now fellas…
If you’re into the “bout to pop” look go for it…
[/quote]
Today is supposed to be the day but yah…that remains to be seen.
Even if I weren’t, I’m too hideous anyway. Like revolting. Blindingly.
lol[/quote]
congrats on your birthday, jackie! I hope all is well with the new person in your life.
and, keep the nakes for now, we’ll renegotiate in a few monthes, mkay?[/quote]
Thanks Edgy! When she finally arrives, she will be well. Now I just have to teach her to watch out for boys that tell her they just want to be her friend. haha
Okay but I won’t promise they will be of me so you are taking your chances…
[quote]stefan128 wrote:
But aren’t couples usually best friends, as well as lovers? Most of the time when you hear woman or man, when talking about their significant other, that he/she is their best friend.[/quote]
[quote]stefan128 wrote:
But aren’t couples usually best friends, as well as lovers? Most of the time when you hear woman or man, when talking about their significant other, that he/she is their best friend.[/quote]
Do you know what platonic means?[/quote]
Yes, I was just stating something. Carry on…[/quote]
When I was younger I used to always get the right answer to the wrong question also.
I find women can make great ‘situational friends’, acquaintances etc…really close friends…usually not. quote]
This.
Work friends and some gym friends, but no real friends.
I don’t sleep with work friends because I am the boss/owner and that would invite trouble, but I’ve inevitably slept with gym friends when in another setting — for example, went to show in Dallas because girl was competing — had sex the entire weekend post show – and she’s married, etc.
I’ve had “couple friends” where I am friendly with a girl because she is attached to a guy friend, but they’re a package deal.
So, no, I don’t think it’s possible.
I am seldom friends with ugly girls because it’s the reverse situaton – they crush on me and I don’t reciprocate.
Never had a situational friend turn into a girl friend. Always “fresh” girlfriend from start.
^ Those videos are both hilarious. Harry Met Sally is such a funny movie. They don’t make good rom coms like that very often anymore.
I thought being friends with a gay guy was an exception, but then a friend of mine told me “No, that’s pretty much about sex, too.” Gay men want to be friends with attractive women because it sends a message to all the other men, gay and straight, that they are hot enough to get that woman if they wanted to. It’s a status thing.
LOL! I thought it was all about having a man friend who would help me pick out curtains and talk about shoes. And I found out that gay guys have another name for attractive women, which kind of bears this out. I guess it’s a compliment, but my friend once told me “You are not a Fag Hag, you’re a Queer Dear.” - meaning someone I would be attracted to if I were straight.
EDIT: I do think women can be friends with gay men. Just pointing out that even those situations can have some sexual politics.
[quote]Dr. Pangloss wrote:
IN my experience, women don’t make great long-term, deep friends because (gets out my broad brush) they do not value loyalty as highly as men do.
Number 1 quality I want in a guy friend is someone who is loyal, who I can trust. When was the last time you heard a woman describe her close friends as loyal. Maybe “strong” or “amazing”, but loyal just doesn’t seem as important to them.
[/quote]
Perfect distillation of what I was driving at. I didn’t use the word, but I described the virtue in my earlier post.
One of the defining moments in my friendship with my best friend came when I stayed by his side when he was falsely accused of a crime. This was high school and he was a star pitcher for our state championship baseball team, and was actually being watched by scouts, so this was a very big deal. Our ENTIRE circle of friends as well as his teachers and coaches completely abandoned him immediately. Only I and one other friend believed him and stuck with him. A few days later, the accuser’s story unraveled, all charges were dropped, and there was a lot of egg on a lot of faces. It was a really edifying experience for all of us, as we recognized that the “popular” status we’d so cherished and actually even strove for was just an illusion. It was extremely liberating, actually, as none of us really gave much of damn about popularity after that, but ended up gaining more of it. He decided he wanted nothing to do with that team or any sport thereafter, though he received some pretty serious apologies and was begged to return. It really changed our perspectives about what is important in life.
Anyway, I’m way off on a tangent here, but I think that stories such as these are illustrative of the kinds of values and moments that are important to men, generally.
On another note, I thought this thread would be a little more contentious. It’s not as much fun when everyone agrees. (`_^) [/quote]
[quote]optheta wrote:
I would think every young guy would want some female friends(platonic ones) so that they now have a gateway to there hot female friends.
BUT THATS JUST CRAZY TALK.[/quote]
…or you could just get laid on your own merits instead of relying on fallout like a bitch.
I thought being friends with a gay guy was an exception, but then a friend of mine told me “No, that’s pretty much about sex, too.” Gay men want to be friends with attractive women because it sends a message to all the other men, gay and straight, that they are hot enough to get that woman if they wanted to. It’s a status thing.
LOL! I thought it was all about having a man friend who would help me pick out curtains and talk about shoes. And I found out that gay guys have another name for attractive women, which kind of bears this out. I guess it’s a compliment, but my friend once told me “You are not a Fag Hag, you’re a Queer Dear.” - meaning someone I would be attracted to if I were straight.
EDIT: I do think women can be friends with gay men. Just pointing out that even those situations can have some sexual politics. [/quote]
I have one good female friend and I would never want to sleep with her because I don’t find her attractive. We are friends because our dads grew up together. I have other females I hang out with, but they are more like acquaintances.
Other than that all my other friends are pretty much guys. Guys are so much easier to hang out with and there is never any drama with it. If I start to become friends with a girl it’s probably because I would want to be friends with benefits with her.
I agree with the article about how the opposite sex thinks about each other. Most girls should know that a guy that is friends with them will most likely sleep with them, especially if they are attractive.
