Wrap it in bacon.
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I feel like this could be the answer to sooooo many problems.
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But with this being the “food porn” thread, the question inevitably becomes “WHAT are we wrapping in bacon?”
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Rolled ankle? Headache? Neighbors dog barks too much?
Wrap it in bacon. 
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You laugh but… my grandmother grew up during the depression. She thought kerosene and bacon cured everything!
Sore throat? Put kerosene on a rag and a piece of bacon wrapped around your throat.
Cut your foot? Soak it in a bucket of kerosene and tie a piece of bacon on afterwards.
I shit you not!
Stupid part… it usually worked 
Can’t imagine what’s wrong with me 
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Everything. If you can fit bacon around it, you should. 
I appreciate all the laws of Leviticus this violates.
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I do what I can to violate moral standards whenever possible.
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The worst part is: even absent the bacon, there are limitations
Although apparently that’s actually Exodus and Deuteronomy, but “You shall not boil a kid in its mother’s milk" sucks for cheeseburgers, and most pizzas.
My children aren’t a fan either.
I missed this because I was traveling, but I’m glad you liked it.
I’m open to requests for what to do next.
Edit: I’m avoiding doing my taxes, so I’m working on the spice company idea instead.
Here’s a sneak peek.
Volcano (Ribeye rub)
Yield: ~1 Quart | Intensity: High
200g Fine Espresso Ground (Dark Roast)
200g Smoked Turbinado Sugar
200g Guajillo Chili Powder
100g Black Salt (Kala Namak)
100g Sumac
Add: 50g Toasted Cocoa Nibs (Fine Ground), 50g Granulated Garlic
Method: Pulse cocoa nibs in spice grinder first. Combine all. Sift through a chinois.
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“If it wasn’t for bacon, no one would even know what a water chestnut was. Bacon bits make a humdrum salad or potato the best part of the meal - like fairy dust. Bippity! Boppity! Bacon! Even frying bacon sounds like applause. And you can’t tell me the popularity of Kevin Bacon isn’t related to his name. ‘The new Kevin Bacon movie sounds delicious…’”
(Edited, from Jim Gaffigan)
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Hey, even though this is a food thread, it’s still T-Nation.
A shoe is the only acceptable unit of reference.
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If I include my shoe, we’d need a whole new thread. Not porn, or crimes, but “why the hell did you do that?”. Like Jackass, but with food.
Or jalapeño toilet paper.
Shoes? We can’t all be Khrushchev.
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Finished it with a generous splash of balsamic to melt the cheese.
Big bread & cheeesy steaky mess. 
Cheese stretch.
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your food always speaks directly to my heart.
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Thats part of why I make it. On my own I was perfectly happy with ordered pizzas or ground beef & rice, chicken breasts, and protein shakes.
It has been kinda stressful with wife no longer eating at all. I need like a surrogate female I can cook for.
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