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In my next episode of crimes against nutrition I present Chicken Spaghetti. I have never made this before but wish I had 
it was delicious!
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This should be the name of a thread!!! 
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I would be the only one on here to post in it
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I very much doubt that.
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Yes please.
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Fine dining is a crime against nutrition.
You know how everyone likes to complain about how tasting menus are just small bites, and you leave hungry? I’ve done the math on several of these, and realized I can sneak calories into you faster than a dealer in a playground. I’ve whipped butter (not just butter, but plugra) into foie gras, poached fish in goose fat, made duck bacon by laminating duck thighs together with meat glue - I’ve even butter-braised romaine lettuce.
With all that being said, a seven course tasting menu can top 2k cals easily. It’s usually about 60% fat (according to my meathead napkin math). Anything else, like a protein or carb, is just scaffolding. Add in the sugars from foams, glazes, and bread, that can hit 3k. And since you’re splurging, would you like the wine pairing? 800 more cals there.
On the other end, unfettered line cooks with extensive recreational pharmaceutical experience can do some wonderfully disgusting stuff after closing.
The meatloaf sandwich. French toast with chili powder, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, sweet pickles, gravy, and queso.
The “Jewban.” A Cuban sandwich, but use rye bread and add candied bacon.
PBnJ pork. Shredded pork shoulder mixed with a tub of peanut butter, a bottle of Mae ploy, wrapped in a crepe.
Applesmacks and apple jack ice cream with “hot chocolate” which was a 1:1 of ganache and heavy cream.
Bone marrow, bacon, and bourbon cream sauce tater tot nachos.
I’m sure I’ll remember more, but you get the gist.
Edit: Tagging @T3hPwnisher because he’s interested in stuff like this.
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Appreciate you thinking of me! It’s amazing learning what is “behind the scenes”, and it’s a shame folks don’t ever think to use these powers for good. Over on reddit, I created a thread recently in a weight gaining sub titled “If you want to gain weight, eat like an obese person, not a skinny person”, where I tried to give them the keys to the kingdom regarding this caloric trickery and it is NOT going over well, haha.
Meatloaf sandwich was the secret to Pat Casey’s 600lb bench press: the first ever in history. So you got something good there.
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Absolutely, but that’s not why you eat it.
I know a lot of it is pretentious nonsense, but for me fine dining is an art form. Every year I try to visit at least two restaurants on the World’s Top 50 list, and the very last thing I’m thinking about is calories!
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So, I missed my calling.
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I agree. I eat at lot of it, but to balance it my normal diet is naturally incredibly boring. Like “oatmeal is a cheat meal” levels of boring.
It’s never too late to invent the next fuck you to healthy eating. I believe in you.
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My Boston cream filled chicken sausages were a flop, but I know I have something good to share with the world. I can feel it!
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The world needs your non-floppy cream filled sausage. Go hard.
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I was thinking of a chain/franchise concept recently. Tell me what you think:
"Boofers BBQ!!!
We put the OOO in GOOOD!!! "
I got curious about this, but couldn’t find his specific sandwich, so I went with a generic version. Assuming you have 1/4 lb 80/20 ground beef, you’d lose about 8 grams of fat during cooking. If you stick it on a buttered brioche bun with cheese and mayo, you can add about 40+ grams of fat back.
All while making that 24 grams of protein much easier to eat and still be hungry after.
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Yeah, “smothered with mayonnaise” was the wording I heard, by way of Marty Gallagher
100%
There’s always a place to add extra fat and or sugar. If the chef doesn’t find any, they aren’t looking hard enough