After returning to these forums- past times, used to refer to the wealth of knowledge & advice for all skill levels here and continue to use saved articles- I impulsively made this account. I wrote perhaps more to come because I don’t know if I should continue in convos or log my activity here in addition to my paper log. I’m exactly 23.85yrs old male, weighing in at 342lbs 6’1 and- per BodPod analysis done 01/14/25 at 346.6lbs- near 51.7% body fat 179.3lbs fat mass and 167.3lbs lean body mass. I’m a beginner in strength training, with my only significant consistent training experience far expired dating to when I trained in a HS football strength & conditioning program ages 14-15. My experience with weight loss is lbs come, go, then come again culminating in a slippery slope of self-hating mental breakdown. I have a long history of disordered sleep, specifically hypersomnia that has been misdiagnosed as the symptom of idiopathic hypersomnia (my diagnosis is still ongoing, with further testing needed to confirm the suspected narcolepsy diagnosis). I also have mild sleep apnea which I treat with a CPAP machine. My greatest flaw is how critical I am of myself, which manifests in burning self-hatred when I fail to intelligently handle the emotions that come from living with my sleep issues. I struggle with persistent depressive thoughts. I have lived irresponsibly in the past, abusing drugs and more personally devastatingly food in the form of binge eating to escape my depression. In one of my darkest moments, in the aftermath of a drug induced accident, I discovered strongman on YT watching WSM playbacks and compilations of the sport’s legends on my phone in the dark of my room self-isolated. I was inspired by the what the legends’ strength feats meant to me: conquering the present self’s physical and mental limitations in embracing pain and overcoming unfathomable adversity. Having deceived myself into thinking I was weak- and accepting such weakness as fate, I reframed my mind into believing that I was capable of strength and my own greatness… if I could accept my personal challenges. That moment was back in 2021. Despite that realization, I reached my heaviest weight in 08/24 at 375.2lbs. I create cycles of negativity, anger, and loathing for myself; lately, I feel more satisfied in simply living my daily life with intention. I began strength training again after another stint of inactivity, and I can confidently say that I feel my best and most energetic when I lift weights. My goal is to make training consistent, eventually to where it’s a fundamental part of my life. A little more about me, I’m very passionate about cooking- and baking but I haven’t baked anything in a quite a long time to avoid the temptation to indulge in sugar and carbs- and exploring Japanese cuisine in the kitchen. I also like challenging myself with language learning.
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Then lift weights.
Even when you don’t “feel” like. I’m not talking about being physically ill, I’m talking about motivation/ discipline. Like… I’m not in the mood. Do it anyway. Many times I have started a workout not in the mood to end up in a pretty damn good mood!
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I’d like to buy a paragraph, please.
I’m not reading that wall of words.
Since your time is so precious, why make such a useless comment. Piss off and spend your valuable minutes elsewhere.