5 Theories That Will Make Your Head Explode

Off Topic
21

"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.

22

As mind blowing as they were, some of those weren’t theories in the eyes of science. Scientific theories have to be falsifiable. How do you disprove the existence of a non-existent parallel universe? They are fascinating ideas though.

23

[quote]Lorisco wrote:
"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.
[/quote]

This all means lightsabers are ral and star wars actually exists somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (for real).

24

Heh heh…Scanners.

25

[quote]Alquemist wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.

This all means lightsabers are ral and star wars actually exists somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (for real).[/quote]

Hey, you can’t really disprove it though.

26

my head hurts
i hate quantum physics
all it does is come along and shit all over everything regular physics has to say

28

[quote]ukrainian wrote:
Alquemist wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.

This all means lightsabers are ral and star wars actually exists somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (for real).

Hey, you can’t really disprove it though.[/quote]

Right, just like the big-bang theory can’t be disproved either. May the force be with you!

29

[quote]Otep wrote:
So, at least in theory, there’s hope for Neph?

Somewhere?[/quote]

In no parallel universe will there be a square circle or the possibility that 2+2=5 is correct.

The theory states that there will be a parallel universe for each possibility; not one for impossibilities.

Sorry, Neph.

30

Lol, I didn’t realize this was the nerd forum.

31

[quote]AngryVader wrote:
This is the kind of stuff that always blows my mind:

[i]Right now, on your computer screen, are approximately 10,000 galaxies.

Each of those galaxies contains anywhere from ten million to one trillion stars.

The average star is roughly a million times the size of Earth.

And yet, with all that junk, the Universe is more than 90 percent empty space.

All of that, in this tiny photo. A photo that took 400 orbits and 800 exposures to take.

And the kicker? The photo covers one thirteen-millionth of the entire night sky.[/i][/quote]

In short if an asteroid slammed into our planet right now and destroyed the entire planet it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference and nobody would ever know.

32

[quote]Otep wrote:
Tyler23 wrote:
I liked this:

For every action you’ve ever taken, every movement you’ve ever made, even down to the atomic level, there’s a parallel universe out there where you did something else instead.

Anything else. Instead of learning guitar, you burst into flames. Instead of opening the fridge, you freebased black tar heroin. Instead of nude rock climbing, you went nude bungee jumping. Instead of reading this article, you worked productively and got a handsome raise.

Think about it: in some parallel universe out there, you and your high school sweetheart are making hot, reconciliatory love atop Bob Feeney’s smoldering corpse after you killed a laser-breathing velociraptor with your bare hands.

So, at least in theory, there’s hope for Neph?

Somewhere?[/quote]

Well, if that’s true, then in one universe Neph is pimping it with one girl, in another two girls, and so on, right up to the universe where the Neph is the only male who survived the plague that wiped out the rest of us, and is now a pleasure-slave for all of the hottest women deemed most worthy to reproduce. So there isnt just hope for neph in ONE someplace, there’s hope for him - a lot more than hope - in a million, billion, trillion someplaces, an infinite number to be technical.

Of course, the flipside to that is that while there is an unending number of universes in which neph is a pimp, there is a simultaneously unending number of universes in which he’s worse off than he is now.

Chew on that. ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Of course, that goes for all of us too, didnt mean to use you as an example neph. It’s otep’s fault

33

[quote]analog_kid wrote:
“At some point half of you was an egg in your Mother�??s womb. That egg existed in her body from the day she was born. And a long, long time ago, she too was an egg in her Mother�??s womb, who had that egg ready for use from the moment she squirmed out of your Great Grandma�??s nethers. The point being, technically speaking, there�??s no break in the chain of existence, no time when you are not a life form of at least the most rudimentary sort. Your family, at least on your Mother�??s side, could theoretically be considered an immortal, constantly-regenerating organism.”

Is that shit for real? When women are born they have all the eggs they will ever have? Ok, that blows my mind and proves that women are probably aliens. [/quote]

I dont knwo that I get what they’re arguing here. Yes, women are born with all their eggs, but that doesnt mean they always had them. Hell, they’re born with eyes too, that doesnt mean they always had them. For goodness sakes, during pregnancy parts of your body grow and form, this isnt like one of those mini Dino sponges you dropped in a milk jug whne you were a kid and watched grow to full size over the course of a few days.

34

[quote]Lorisco wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
Alquemist wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.

This all means lightsabers are ral and star wars actually exists somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (for real).

Hey, you can’t really disprove it though.

Right, just like the big-bang theory can’t be disproved either. May the force be with you!

[/quote]

I hate the big bang theory. It makes absolutely no fucking sense.

35

[quote]ukrainian wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
ukrainian wrote:
Alquemist wrote:
Lorisco wrote:
"Wait, It Gets Worse: The genetic chaos continues. The Endosymbiotic Theory says that the mitochondria in our bodies, without which we couldn’t live, let alone write snide humor articles, was at one point a separate organism that invaded our cells and set up camp. They formed a symbiotic relationship so beneficial that we’ve never booted them out.

Furthermore, large chunks of the human genome are thought to be ancient retroviruses that managed to transcribe themselves into our DNA and have spent the remainder of their days happily clambering up and down our nucleotides like the McDuck children on a mansion banister.

Basically your cells are millions of individual organisms, all huddled together in a you-shaped beehive. Now see how long you can go before wanting to shower."

Didn’t this theory originally come from Star Wars?

Nice to know scientists are hard at work watching movies to come up with their theories.

This all means lightsabers are ral and star wars actually exists somewhere in a galaxy far, far away (for real).

Hey, you can’t really disprove it though.

Right, just like the big-bang theory can’t be disproved either. May the force be with you!

I hate the big bang theory. It makes absolutely no fucking sense. [/quote]

Agreed!

36

The last one made me feel really, really small… I’m gonna go to the gym now…

37

[quote]ukrainian wrote:

I hate the big bang theory. It makes absolutely no fucking sense. [/quote]

How so? Seems fairly logical to me.

38

[quote]fireplug52 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:

I hate the big bang theory. It makes absolutely no fucking sense.

How so? Seems fairly logical to me.[/quote]

I may have missed this part in the reading, but it seems that the big bang relies on the universe having matter and its opposite (or some such terms) in equal amounts where it can continue to expand as long as it keeps the original equation that would allow it to go back to the start.

Now that I’m re-reading this, I have no clue if I’m accurate or not- and would appreciate someone linking a reliable source so I can brush up on what I know (or don’t) and not sound batshit crazy.

39

I wish science class was as fun as reading all that. Maybe if the teachers had a personality, more students would pay attention.

lawl

40

[quote]RebornTN wrote:
fireplug52 wrote:
ukrainian wrote:

I hate the big bang theory. It makes absolutely no fucking sense.

How so? Seems fairly logical to me.

I may have missed this part in the reading, but it seems that the big bang relies on the universe having matter and its opposite (or some such terms) in equal amounts where it can continue to expand as long as it keeps the original equation that would allow it to go back to the start.

Now that I’m re-reading this, I have no clue if I’m accurate or not- and would appreciate someone linking a reliable source so I can brush up on what I know (or don’t) and not sound batshit crazy.[/quote]

Well. Sort of. The universe started out with some amount of energy. Matter and energy are equivalent, so as the universe expanded from the singularity matter began to coalesce from the pure energy forms found at the beginning.

As the universe continued to expand the matter now formed began to diversify and represent the types and distribution that matter has today. Heavier elements were formed later as stars coalesced from the homogeneous gasses and whatnot leftover from the creation event.

This theory was not picked out of a hat. The current data was examined and from that it was extrapolated that the universe started that way. A major part of this evidence is that every galaxy is moving away from each other, suggesting at some point in the past being very, very close together.

Now, you might object by asking, “What caused the big bang in the first place?”. Well, science is concerned with describing the universe as it is. Before the big bang there was no universe. So, what came before is not within the purview of science.

That said, there is some evidence we can gather that might point to what happened before the big bang event, and if that comes to full understanding then we might be able to describe what came before. Hard to say.